Blood Born
by meganleighprather
Summary: Read the story that critics are saying is a lot better than Twilight. No slash. Edward, Bella, and Jacob.
1. Lascivious Edward

**DISCLAIMER: **This story is simply our version of Twilight. No copyright infringement intended. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

**! PLEASE READ !: **This is not a slash story between Edward and Jacob, it's only from their point of view. Bella IS in this story. As the chapters progress, their POV will intertwine between each other. The STORY will intertwine, not their genitals. Get your minds out of the gutter, pervies.

**Thank you for reading. ~J + M**

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**Edward POV  
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It's been a while since I heard the sound of my own voice - even longer since the sunlight kissed my skin. I've been fermenting in my own self pity for days while lying on the floor like some wounded animal who knew their days were numbered. There were two things my sudden predicament has brought me from watching beyond the skylight in my ceiling: one was that the sun has not peeked through the clouds _once_ in the past week and it was starting to get on my nerves – and the other being that finding a reason to carry on has melted from my frozen flesh and dissolved beneath the floorboards.

As I laid on the sleek, Brazilian cherry wood with my hands at my sides, feet spread apart, and eyes to the sky, the mortality of my life – or lack thereof – fluttered away into the absence of my mind. For a moment, I closed my eyes and visualized my heart beating. I could almost feel the rhythmic pounding beneath my chest pulsing currents of blood down to my fingertips. I then began breathing in an out of my nose, fabricating the idea of oxygen flowing to my brain. It felt good – like an out of body experience. My spirit hovered above me, watching myself function.

Everything was so natural.

My mind began to float and eventually wander. Faint thoughts puckered through my loose daydream where everything became lucid, then eventually... morbid. A sudden violent image of a blood-lathered grizzly bear flashed through my mind, disrupting my brain waves with a jolt. I jerked out of position and rolled over to my side; my eyes shot open – the dream was over. That twisted fuck.

_How would you like a taste of that? Sure does the body good!_

Emmett's thoughts were just as annoying as his speaking voice… and _twice_ as difficult to avoid.

_You're foaming at the mouth, aren't you? Now get your gloomy ass down here and I'll show you how it's done._

For as disturbing as the visual was, it was salivating; though I could go for something a little more pleasurable. I'd been here for so long that I couldn't even remember the last time I fed. I tried to swallow back the burning sensation in my throat, but I knew that hiding from my huger pangs was essentially unavoidable.

I periodically got in slumps like this every now and again. Alice went so far as to call it depression, but I didn't take her medical advice too seriously. Carlisle knew me enough to even dare bother asking to play doctor in hopes to study me like some lab rat. I loved that man dearly, but when a vampire had unnatural feelings that he couldn't 'clinically' diagnose, he'd try his best to get you to fall for a trick or two for the sake of science. Let's just say he scared me out of even thinking of trying to have children.

With a prolonging sigh, I stood to my feet and decided to join him downstairs where the rest of my family had gathered. You'd think we'd get bored with our days since they were endless, but we actually tend to keep pretty busy.

Carlisle and Esme watch old movies on the flat screen while Rosalie and Emmett alternate their time playing chess and venturing out into the horizon together. Alice and Jasper are a different element. They spent a lot of time just staring at each other, but in a sense to where they know exactly how the other was feeling. The others give them awkward looks and try not to pay attention to it, but it's almost as if they can read each others thoughts. Yeah - try being in alone in a room with them for a few hours. It can get relatively uncomfortable.

And so that is the basis of our lives: we feed, we play, and we love. It's like our own little bullshit world, since we can't really socialize with humans without it irritating us. Not only for me, hearing their constant thoughts, but the slight sensation to pounce and lavish in their hot, thick fluid has crossed every one of our minds from time to time. Some more than others.

There have been a few close encounters where I'd nearly have to pry a few poor patrons from someone's jaw. Luckily Carlisle has taught us to restrain ourselves fairly well.

My sudden train of thought was broken by Emmett's idea of a greeting by pulling me into the tightest grip. I wouldn't call it a hug, since it was a lot more aggressive, but that's the closest thing I could compare it to.

"The vampire has finally come out of his coffin," he laughingly sneered, giving one last clench before finally releasing me.

"What was that all about?" I smirked, probably for the first time in ages.

He shrugged, "Just haven't seen you in a while. I knew that grizzly bear would get your stomach going."

"It actually did," I agreed, pressing my hand into my caving gut, "I'll have to go out and snatch an even bigger one to show you up."

As Emmett began bragging on to me about how that probably wouldn't happen, I noticed Esme's soft face reflect a smile into my peripherals. She had been the most concerned about me over the past week. Her thoughts were always worried ones; wondering if I'd given up the will to live and was thinking of doing something drastic. It had taken up most of her time, even when trying to retire on the couch with Carlisle.

_Are you alright, sweetheart?_

Her voice cooed inside my head as medicine would soothe a sickly child. I wish it could be a easier to be mean to her.

I kept my eyes towards Emmett and nodded, then grimaced. My apparent 'disgust' towards his tale encouraged him to tell another I wouldn't care about, but it was meant in her direction. Her warm smile began to glow, letting me know my apology was taken. Emmett continued to babble on while performing statuesque poses showing how he tackled down the mammal. I could see Rosalie shaking her head out of the corner of my eye, agitated.

"Alright, well I'd love to stay and chat," I intersected, "But I need to go out for a bit… my throat is on fire."

With an impersonal farewell, I waved and made my break for the door before Emmett could have the chance to bore me with another heroic story. Suddenly, everyone's thoughts began clouding in my head, questioning what I was really going out to do. Nothing to worry about, just different variations of 'please come back safe' and 'I'm here if you need to talk'. Alice calmed them by saying I'd be back in an hour; which I probably would be. She knew the routine.

Regardless, I couldn't change my fate for tonight and it's not like likely that I was going to. Tonight was the night I've anticipated for weeks. Besides, everyone knows a human can only survive on tofu for so long.

I decided to take a walk in town to reflect on the day with a side of window shopping; discretion was never really my thing, but I couldn't be all that obvious either. Watching the few smiling faces passing by made me forget where I was, so I quickly buried my hands and neck into my pea coat and pretended to deflect the chilling weather.

From all of the cities I have seen, all the countries I've been to, this town had to be my favorite. Though most of my family and all who live here would surely disagree with me, there was something about small town life that really reminded me of...me. A long time ago, anyway. All of the buildings distinguished the same way for thirty years; not a spot of renovation in sight. Coming here always made me think of dusting off old photos and reminiscing back to a time when life had magic and music had taste.

As the night progressed, I continued walking until I reached the shabby town neighboring Forks where I regularly paid a visit. This area was less than respectable; none of the streetlights worked. The drinks were cheap - as were the women - and the crime rate was increasingly high for such a small population. Emmett and I stumbled upon this place nearly thirty years ago the first time we came through and it really hadn't changed much apart from a few new bars and cheap hotels.

_Okay, enough thinking... I need to concentrate._

Some twenty feet away from me, a slew of prostitutes lingered near the intersection in scantily clad attire hoping a wealthy man would spend a night with them for decent compensation. Of course, one by one, they caught sight of me and instantly diverted their attention. Not only because I was the only human being in sight, but that's usually what humans do when they catch sight of a vampire. I offered a friendly grin, sifting through their thoughts for the one who I'd intertwine with; such decisions were never difficult. I kept my standards pretty simple - go for the one who respected their life the least.

I walked toward a young brunette dressed in licentious green lingerie and weather-worn boots; pretending to pass by, rather than traveling for a sole purpose. Her voice was both the most vivid and translucent: she didn't have family, she stated that clearly, and anticipated going back to her hotel room to take a couple of more pills. I didn't catch a visual of what they were, but I doubt she had a prescription for them.

"Hey there sugar," she coaxed to me, "Are you looking for something sweet tonight?"

I paused, looking at her with a crooked smile, "What's the charge?"

"Ninety an hour," she smiled back, trailing her finger around the buttons of my coat, "But I'll prove I'm worth it."

I didn't really plan on spending the money, since it never really lasted long. Usually it's over within the first fifteen minutes and the night always ends in disappointment for the girl. But I'm a man with many needs, I suppose, and my resolve is always the same. Of course I could be more noble about it, but what's the fun in that?

I bundled her up beneath my coat and pulled her close to me, shielding the cold from her tainted skin. The jealousy from the others stampeded through me, like always, but I could assure them they wouldn't want to be in her shoes anyhow. I'm not much one to please and I tend to be rather selfish. Like I said before, I'm a man with needs. And so long as those needs are met, even at the expense of another person, I'm willing to accept the wager.

"I have a place nearby," she suggested, still smiling from ear to ear.

"Perfect."

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**"I touched her thigh and death smiled." ~Jim Morrison**

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"Don't mind the mess. I haven't cleaned up since my roommate left." She apologized.

Her contrived insincerity kept me from waving away her inadequate hosting skills. She noticed my disgust towards a cereal bowl tipped over on the night stand, covered in maggots and mold, and quickly covered it with a newspaper.

"I'm just gonna clean myself up a bit." She flirted.

I scanned through her thoughts as she walked towards the bathroom. I had to be sure.

_If I had known that bitch was going to off herself, I would've made her clean her fucking mess up beforehand. _

"So what's your name?" she hollered through the bathroom.

"Edward Cullen."

Maybe I was being egotistical, but I had a feeling she wouldn't tell anybody of our rendezvous. It felt good telling the truth, so I liked to tell one at every given opportunity.

She laughed, "Who the fuck names their kid Edward anymore?"

I smirked; looking around at the untidiness around me, "My parents were very pretentious people,"

Much hasn't changed over the years when it came to prostitutes. Sure, drug use was still fairly common, but the women gradually became a lot less considerate of their upkeep.

To be a little more precise…the woman was a complete fucking slob.

God only knows what the hotel had in store for me when I walked in. It looked like a damn hurricane annihilated this room and I almost believed I'd be better off choosing one of the other unfortunate harlots lingering in the city streets. Clothes were entwined with empty beer cans and fast food bags; though her gaunt structure would obviously tell you otherwise. I really tried not to seem so disgusted toward the clutter, but an overwhelming stench of stale beer and cigarettes tempted me to just break her neck and get it over with.

Didn't want to even imagine what that bathroom looked like. Good thing I had no reason to use it.

My attention turned to the nightstand where I could see a stack of medical bills, mostly from abortion clinics and some cocaine residue tainted on the edge of the table. She stumbled out of the bathroom with a dazed look in her eyes. It was quite obvious she had done some sort of substance and I confirmed it by reading her jumbled, illegible thoughts. I'll really have to stick with my guns now on this one.

"Want a beer?" she slurred, peeling my coat off and dropping it at the edge of the bed.

I shuddered at the reminder of the odor, "No, thank you."

She was stunned at my answer, most men never said no, but disregarded it anyway and lit up a cigarette. Even though she was blaming her room mate, it was no surprise who that smell was coming from now.

"So what are you looking for?" she breathed through a puff of smoke.

Her bruised leg thoughtlessly crossed over the other as her hand dangled in the air with the burning cigarette. She was a little more nervous than what she was showing.

"Does it matter?" I teased, sitting next to her.

She smiled, "Of course it matters. That's why you're here, isn't it?"

Sex wasn't the first thing that controlled my mind, but that's not the same as saying it never did. The fragility of a human body usually shatters within seconds—often before I even get the opportunity to experience a full hard-on. Sometimes I played around with the idea anyway when I got bored of the 'natural' ways of executing my meal and I've learned my lesson well enough to show up completely prepared; stimulation need not apply.

The girl raised a brow, "Look I don't have all night babe. So what's it gonna to be?"

Without a warning, I slid to the middle of the bed and pulled her on my lap. I suppose I could've lavished her with poetry, maybe even a compliment or two, but this was strictly 'business' and empty words would only stall me from getting what I really needed.

Besides…I'm not much of a talker.

I lifted up her skirt and pulled her panties to one side, grazing her sensitive spot with my middle finger. She jumped a little, probably from the difference between our body temperatures.

"Hey, hey, hey!" the girl spoke between trailed kisses from my neck to my lips, "Don't you at least like to talk dirty—or want a blowjob—or anything?"

"No." I muttered coldly, continuing on with my business.

I needed to feel her heartbeat; my own personal foreplay. I cupped her throat and pulled it closer for the sake of impatient contact. The percussion of her pulse hummed against my lips, sending me into overdrive and coating my mouth with venom. She let out a desperate sigh which broke me from my thoughts. It was then that I noticed my hand was still working beneath her.

In synchronized movement, her sweltering hands reached down and unbuttoned my pants, pulling the erection from my jeans and between her thighs in quick, shallow breaths as I lay her on her back in a dominating reaction. My embrace then wandered, caressing her boldly. She moved into my contractions despite being startled by the chill of my touch. My hands then moved more freely, venturing to the pulse that maddened her, causing the pleasure to swell and throb.

Death and desire swirled through my mind as I mounted her as a lion would both its mate and prey. She let out a desperate gasp and clenched my shoulders as soon as impact had fully occurred with basic instinct taking over my thought process. I kept my focus on her hitched inhaling, because as soon as she stopped breathing – the game was over. I'd have to zip it up and continue on with the same routine.

I hung onto these thoughts, slowly pulling in and out of her body, continuing focus on her breathing. When I gained a bit of confidence in myself, I began to thrust a little quicker in pace, causing more friction. This was the hardest part.

She turned her face up to mine, but her half-felt protest became a moan of surrender as I drove my mouth down on her neck with a hungry embrace which splintered her senses. I couldn't contain myself any longer; my lips retracted to reveal my sharp incisors. I dug into her throat and planted the kiss of death upon the nectar of my foreboding fruit. She felt caught in the current of some incredible magnet, unable to draw away and stop her body from responding as I tasted her.

Inattentive, indulging moans escaped from either of our mouths, both for different yet comparable reasons, causing my excitement to cluster even more. She wrapped her frail arms around my neck when I crushed her body to mine. I heaved in and out of her and held her impossibly closer. Fear began to swell as she was realizing that something was not right.

"Slow down," she whimpered, "slow down!"

Numb from the venom, I selfishly ignored her demands and continued like I wanted to as soon as her pulse slowed to a dull tempo. I expelled into her body and released her from my deathly vice.

_I did it. It took a lot of effort, but I did it._

It wasn't until I fully released her from my grip that I noticed that not only was I wrong, but I had failed completely. She slumped against the headboard with a hollow thud. There she was, lying in front of me in a chaotic mess, tangled hair covering her face – utterly lifeless.

"Shit," I spat, pulling myself away from her legs that were still loosely wound around my torso.

I tried to make it my primary goal to keep her alive until I could finish off. Though it never usually happens, I still like to dream big.

Now, the annoying part of getting rid of the body.

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Edward finds reviews irresistibly lascivious. : )


	2. Ice Packs, Photographs, and Quarterbacks

**There are a couple of links you'll find in my profile that relates to the story. We now have a 'theme music' page up on YouTube that will give you some mood music for the upcoming chapters. When you see us post a song in the chapter, you can listen to it to get the vibe of what Jacob, Bella, or Edward is feeling. Feel free to pass along suggestions if you'd like! Also, we have a picture up that we're using in relation to the theme 'Blood Born'. I hope you like this chapter.**

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**Jacob POV**

We pulled into the gas station and slowed near the entrance, coming to a screeching halt. If it wasn't for my dad being so attached to this damn truck, I would've put the old work horse out of its' misery a long time ago. I tried to scrunch down in my seat, pretending it would somehow make us invisible; but an insanely loud, orange vehicle was kind of hard to avoid. Plus, this town was also so small that everybody already knew we were driving it. Talk about embarrassing...

However, it did inspire me to get off my ass and fix my motorcycle a little faster. I mean, it was bad enough to be seen riding in the scrap metal on wheels, but having my parent still toting me around definitely didn't help me in any way, either.

We were going to Charlie Swans' tonight to watch the Redskins take on the Cowboys. I'm not much of a football fan, so I'm mainly going to clean up after the two pigs and meet his daughter, Bella. I'd never met her, but Charlie raved about her ever since I could retain my memory. I'll probably see this girl and act like I've known her for years.

"Want anything while I'm in there? I'm just grabbin' beer." My dad said, climbing out of the truck.

His eyes looked tired; darkened skin bagged around his eyes and I've only recently noticed how his hands were starting to wrinkle. His hair was turning silver just above his ears, probably because of me. It's weird how you notice your parents getting older and wondering how time went by so fast. I guess it's probably the same for him when he looks at me.

"No, I'm alright." I replied as I kicked my feet onto the dash, resting my hands behind my head.

"Hey! Get your feet off of there, boy." he spat, "And for God's sake please take a shower before we go. You're starting to smell like a gym bag."

He grimaced at the sight of the sweat marks under my arms.

"Give me a break!" I retorted, "I've been working on the bike all day. Speaking of, I wanted to give it a test drive. Mind if I head over to Charlies a little early to test it out?"

"Well, I suppose. I'll be looking forward to picking you up on the side of the road when it breaks down again, too." He chuckled and slammed the door.

My bike came to a gradual stop in the short driveway of their modest, white home with gray trimmings. I don't know why I was expecting anything different; the house looked the same as always. Somehow I figured the outside would be dominated by purple tulips and those creepy garden gnomes women think is acceptable to display.

Whenever he heard me coming up on the motorcycle, Charlie always came out and greeted me and followed with the same questions about what I had done lately to modify it. This chick must have him totally wrapped around her little finger, because he didn't come out this time.

Since I've been here so many times, it wasn't really necessary to knock anymore. I walked up in full stride and turned the doorknob. A second later, my face planted into the splintery wood. A soft "Oomph!" escaped from my mouth. Since when does Charlie lock the door?

I pressed my hands against the glass and peeked through to see if anybody was around. The room was pretty still, except for motions on the TV screen with the volume blaring very loud. That explains why he didn't hear me driving up.

"Alright," I sighed, walking around the house hoping that he'd for sure leave the back door open.

The wind whistled through the trees while the moon illuminated dew onto the grass and lit up a perfect pathway for me to see. My feet guided me to the screened-in porch where I could see a flickering candle reflecting a beautiful face. She was too focused on whatever she was pulling out of the little box in front of her to notice me at all. Her long hair pulled over one shoulder, revealing her delicate collar bones. She is beautiful from what I could see, but the expression on her face can only be described as the look you get when you eat something sour; like she was trying to hold back from crying. I felt around the darkness for the railing to climb up the concrete steps and, for God knows what reason, missed the railing and tripped over my own feet; banging my head on the rail on the way down. Within a split second, I was lying on my back.

Next thing I knew, I heard the creaking sound of a door open and close. It took me a minute to regain my focus, since I hit my head pretty hard. A blurry duo of brown-haired girls swirled around me until I blinked the other two away.

"Are you okay?"

So much for a decent first impression...

I shut my eyes tightly once more and opened to reveal a beautiful girl squinting inches away from my face. She stared at me for a moment and I stared back. The lingering silence reminded me that she was waiting for an answer.

"If you two would stand still, I'd feel a lot better," I grunted, attempting to sit up.

She laughed; at least I was starting to redeem myself.

She leaned over and clasped her hand in mine, wrapping her other arm around my shoulders. The fact that she really thought she could carry my weight was almost laughable since I was nearly doubling her in size. I didn't want to make her feel bad, so I leaned in a bit and pretended to stumble on my way up to make her feel better.

"We should really get some ice on that," she said, pointing to a huge knot on the side of my head.

I jokingly said muttered some pick-up line about how it's wasn't the first time I'd fallen head over heels for an angel. Either she didn't find it amusing or she didn't catch it because she didn't respond at all. Ignoring my stupid comment I hovered over my left temple and lighted pressed down sending a shooting pain down my side. My teeth clenched through a brief gasp. Guess I was hurting a little bit more than I thought.

I followed behind her through the back door I'd been trying to reach, though it was less difficult this time around. She pulled out a chair for me to sit in and maneuvered from the cabinet, to the door, to the freezer and back.

I watched her swiftly travel back and forth, searching for the sandwich bags and then the ice, then back to find the napkins to wrap it in.

"You must be Jacob." she assumed. She handed the ice pack to me and I applied it to my head and cringed.

"What gave it away?" I sneered.

"Well, if you were just some boy trying to peek through the window, I'll probably just have to call the cops on you."

"Definitely not random," I huffed, "Where's Charlie at?"

"He's at the neighbor's house. Some lonely woman that used to come here everyday to take care of him stopped coming around ever since I got here."

My eyes followed her hands that were scattering around the table as she talked, picking up photographs and putting them back in her little box covered in green paper hearts.

"I think she's a little jealous."

I rolled my eyes, "So much for game night."

"He just needed a bottle opener," she protested, "Then again, that was like a half hour ago."

I could hear some commotion coming up towards the door. My dad must have met Charlie outside because they both came in at the same time.

"I see you kids have met." Charlie said, looking at my head, "Jake, what happened to your head?"

My dad was laughing silently in the background. I could only assume he already accumulated what probably had happened. I always find a way to humiliate myself in front of girls.

"Well then, let's get inside," he continued, "Game's about to start."

The house smelled like popcorn and clean linen. Charlie is definitely trying to impress someone.

"Bella, this is Billy." Charlie pointed to my dad, "He's an old friend."

"I've heard a lot about you," she smiled politely.

I could hardly concentrate on the game with Bella jumping up and down whenever her team scored. She was more into it than the rest of us; considering we were down by twenty points. But every time the Skins made a touch down, she'd look at us and give a thumbs down, sticking her tongue out. It was kinda cute, actually.

"Dad, I'm going to grab a beer, do you want one?" Bella pranced into the kitchen.

"Yeah bring, Billy one too will ya?" Charlie yelled.

Did she just say she was going to grab a beer? I never really took Charlie to be a fatherly type and this proved my point even more, but she couldn't be that much older than me. Definitely not old enough to drink, that's for sure. Bella slumped right next to me as she cracked open her can. I must have been staring at her for a while because she winked at me. Oops.

"Well, Dallas is pretty much kicking your ass, Jacob Black." Bella teased, "Wanna go outside? I'm sure we won't miss much."

"Hey, our best guy has been out with an injury and the season is just getting started. I still have hope for us." I snickered.

She grabbed me by the wrist and lead me out front where we both sat on the concrete front steps, simultaneously.

The outside air was crisp and cool, with the thick smell of burning leaves.

"So, how do you like Forks?" I asked.

"It's umm…definitely not Phoenix." She joked sarcastically, tossing the stray hairs from her face with a light swat.

I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my brown leather jacket.

"Charlie seems happy to have you here. I haven't seen him this giddy since the Redskins won the Super bowl."

We both laughed.

The two men inside screamed in excitement, which sent a jolt through Bella and I, causing us to jump.

"Are they always like this?" she asked, slightly embarrassed at her dads' unusual upbeat mood.

"This is a calm night for them, I smiled.

The moonlight was reflecting her face so beautifully, all until she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from her pocket.

"Want one?" She asked.

"No," I shrugged, "I don't smoke."

She lit her cigarette and took in a long drag. I looked her over a moment, but tried not to make a big deal out of it.

"Don't look at me like that," She said while exhaling a cloud of smoke.

"Sorry, I guess I just didn't take you for the smoking type."

"Yeah, well I didn't judge you too harshly for being a Redskins fan." she smirked, "So cut me some slack."

The teasing and obvious flirting going back and forth forced my lips into a pressured smile. I tired to hold it back the best I could, but only found myself laughing the more I tried to fight it.

"So tell me some more about yourself, Jacob Black." She asked.

"Well, I am pretty much this amazingly hot, single guy. I ride motorcycles and can fix anything with wheels, but bikes are my specialty." I trailed off a bit, staring her in the eyes, "...and I like cute girls riding with me on the back of them."

She laughed, taking one last drag from her cigarette and tossing it to the floor. At least she didn't reject my flirting. She flipped her hair to one side and revealed her long, bare neck. I tried to keep from staring at it, but obviously didn't do a good job at that, either. I shivered at my own wicked thoughts.

"So, what about you?"

She looked into the distance and squinted her eyes, "Well, I am pretty much this incredibly sexy, single girl. I smoke cigarettes, as you can probably tell. And anybody who can fix a machine without using a manual is a complete turn-on to me."

My face grew hot and she probably saw that. Here I am blushing like some stupid, little kid. I covered my mouth to hide the goofy grin I couldn't hold back any longer. This girl definitely had some mystery about her and I was eager to find out what that was.

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Reviews make Jacob see double. =]


	3. Imperfect Reflections

**We apologize for the lack of updates. That's going to change from now on, so please remember to 'subscribe' to Blood Born so you can get updated when we post!**

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**Edward POV:**

"You've been playing all night."

My mind was so wrapped up around its own thought process that it wasn't keeping up on anyone else's. Esme was beginning to take it personally, which it was anything but. I really needed to work on that.

"I've been carrying a lot on my mind lately is all—," I said truthfully, followed by an additional confession, "—materialistic things."

Keep it simple, I told myself.

"Is it anything you need to talk about?" She asked, entering the room.

I faintly chuckled by the carefully replaced 'want' with 'need'. Where should I start? _"I don't like feeding on animals, but I also hate the idea of taking innocent lives so I munch on hookers and drug dealers instead to make me feel better?"_

"It's probably depression," I said instead, mimicking Alice's idea.

She approached behind me and placed her hands on either of my shoulders while I sat at the piano, mentally exhausted from playing all night, but continued pressing the notes in a stream of harmonic assembly.

"Well, I don't think that's it," she suggested, "Maybe you just need a nice girl to keep you company."

I smiled at the ridiculous assumption, "You know how I am with relationships Esme."

Plus I didn't need another distraction.

"I know, I know," she laughed, "Just thought I'd throw out the suggestion."

She made her exit towards the door and turned around for one last offer, "Well, we're all here if the mood strikes. Don't be such a stranger, Edward." She shut the door behind her.

_I know, I know._

You know_ nothing_. Struggling to think of what it _is_ that you know—is what you know—and I intended to keep it that way.

Just as light began to peak over the horizon, cascading along the hillside and spilling into the shaded linen window shades, I played something a little softer to compliment the changing colors of the sky. I usually spent my evenings and early mornings this way– musical diffusion at its finest. My free hand lazily grazed across the keys while the other firmly held my head up at my temple, elbow propped up against the slick-black lid.

I kept my sight focused on the keys, attentive to my Sun embracing each key with Her brilliance; letting me know She was there to save me from my personal discretions once again. She was always forgiving of my carnage and there to listen to my regrets; how I loved my gentle Goddess.

_How long do you plan on keeping this up, Edward?_

Alice's snarling thought sniped like a bullet through my brain, startling me enough to jerk my limbs in nameless directions. I steadied my hands and pressed them against my face, irritated at all the inquisitive, prying words; especially ones I didn't have the answer to. That irritated me the most. How long _did _I plan on keeping this up?

_Everybody is getting suspicious. I can't continue lying for you and I'm running out of excuses, Edward._

She kept saying my name to keep me attentive; as if that were more effective than her piercing sneers. I pressed my palms against my face, shutting out another 'motherly' figure staring down at me like a cocky child in need of good scolding. I was far too deep in my confidence, but I feel I've stuck my hands far too deep in the cookie jar this time. I tried to keep the little sister silenced with a cookie or two, but she wasn't folding.

_I know you're listening to me up there, so I'm going to talk. You need to figure out if you're going to stay apart of this family. Because if not-_

I felt her heavy-minded sigh.

_-Maybe you just need to find exactly what it is you want. Carlisle is never going to accept your choices, so long as you live in this house. I suggest you decide if they're worth standing by them._

I'm really not a monster…honest. Besides, should justifiable murder truly condemn me? Okay –maybe it should and I probably deserve it. And I suppose you can't really 'justify' someone's' death when they're not even aware you're the one delivering it. I'm sure the brunette didn't dream of walking the streets at night half naked when she was a little girl. Or that her idea of prince charming, cloaked in white aristocracy, would turn out to be a lonely married man in a minivan offering a pitiful sum of cash for her empty affections.

Whenever I got in this habitual despondence, I often placed my own loved ones becoming limp in my arms. It had become a disgusting bias lately and I couldn't shake it off. I always came home feeling even more wretched than when I left the house—and did I really fucking hate when that happened.

I knew I couldn't keep this secret much longer, but when did I finally decide I had crossed the line? When I swore my own sister to secrecy? When my own family became involved in my love affair with deception? I couldn't really tell you, but I knew that foreplay remained exciting for only as long as an opponent played their part. And so long as they played their part, I'll have my next move documented carefully in my mind anxiously awaiting for my counterstrike.

There will be no lingering ideas or petty theories. I do what I do best and leave no mistakes behind to be discovered. I'll always be one step ahead; always anticipating. And just when they think they've got the upper hand, I'll be ending the game with a triumphant _'checkmate'_.

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**Jacob POV**

_"There ought not be regrets,_  
_but why so often are you full at times of parting?_  
_Men have sorrow and joy and farewell and union._  
_The moon has clouds and clear skies,_  
_waxing and waning."_

_~Su Shih_

It felt good to be home. I mean I know I had only been gone for a little over five hours, but creeping into a dark, familiar place at night, knowing that it was yours; suddenly relieved you of the scary world beyond it and everything became safe again.

There was no other smell than what you experienced at home; ours had an overbearing scent of wood and cinnamon. My dad had a thing for cinnamon candles and liked them on every possible surface in the house.

I always snagged one or two of them and kept them on my nightstand. Of course they were always the ones my dad seemed to value most because he'd get pissed at me and take them out the next day, going on about how he liked them in the certain spot I took them from and that they needed to stay there. He had to be the most feminine man I ever met.

I lay in bed with my eyes to the ceiling, desperately trying to end the feud between my heavy lids and racing thoughts. I knew it was going to happen again tonight after seeing Bella admiring those pictures because it reminded me of myself. Of course I wasn't sentimental enough to keep a box of memories like she did; I was way too careless with my stuff. Instead a small frame holding our family portrait propped up next to the red candles was all I needed to remind me of better times.

All I could think about was my mother lately. It had been three years since the incident, but I remember it clear as day: the violent sounds of crushing metal, glass shattering every which way, and the roaring fire erupting fumes from the melting paint and rubber.

The violence that seemed to last for an eternity quickly became extinguished by an eerie silence. The kind where all you're left with is the pity to collect your thoughts. I remember looking down, seeing the side door bent in so far that it pinned me to my seat and I couldn't access my seat belt. Then there was the fire…

My eyes desperately scanned the seats in front of me, calling her name between agonizing gasps as the oils caught ablaze, lighting up the front end of the car. I began to panic, screaming her name now, struggling to get free of the restraints across my chest.

Finally, her eyes met mine, staring back at me from the review mirror. They were glassy; empty. Blood trailed from her head down to her chin. Some even spilling from her mouth. I knew she was gone, but I still continued calling for her.

"Mom! We have to get out the car! Mom, please wake up!" I choked out these words until my air supply became clouded with black smoke.

Now not only was I struggling to get out of the car, but I was also struggling to breathe. I began drowning in the thickened mass, becoming awfully light-headed and weary. My quick gasps for air became choking gasps, then gradually torturing coughs.

Just as my limbs gave up trying to fight against the heavy metal, the sirens hollered in the distance and a cold hand reached through my broken window, ripping me from my seat belt and delivering me from the swelling pollution. I could finally breathe again, but my throat was too sore to hold a chord.

"Get him away from here!" A man in the background screamed to the one pressing me against his chest.

The noises of the commotion were echoing in my head when I realized that she was still inside. _Why weren't they trying to get her out, too?_ The car began making popping noises as the flames climbed and thickened; forming a glowing shield around it. I flung myself away from his chest and darted towards the car.

"She's still inside! You have to get her out!" my weak, airy voice demanded.

The man quickly caught up with me just a few feet before I could reach the vehicle. I don't know exactly what I planned to do, but I sure as hell wasn't just going to let her burn to death. His big arms wrapped around my waist, yanking me further away. My legs flailed in the air while I attempted to squirm out of his grasp a second time, but gave in when I realized I wasn't strong enough to match them.

"She's already _gone_, son!" he assured, "She's already _gone_!"

I tried to shake the image from my mind; they were forever seared into my brain. I helplessly watched my mother's corpse burn while I sat numb in the back of an ambulance; though none of that could ever compare to those empty eyes.

My heart began to palpitate, which let me know it was going to be a while before I could actually sleep. I rolled over to the dim candlelight and gazed into those eyes again; though they were obviously different. They had life, joy, and happiness. Affection. Love. All of the traits a mother's eyes should have. I guess that's what got to me the most… losing yourself like that in a matter of seconds. She didn't deserve to die. Not like_ that_ anyway.

I stood to my feet, prolonging a thorough sigh, and walked to the kitchen for a glass of water. It sort of became a routine for me. When the skeletons came out to play, Jacob cowered under the sheets and pretended it was all a dream. So I tried to keep my mind at ease by doing normal things to calm me down until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

Just before I reached the kitchen, I noticed the lamp glowing next to my dad's favorite recliner. _Geez, what's he still doing up?_ Usually I'd be frustrated because of how he constantly nagged me to _'pay more attention to the electricity bill'_ because I _'obviously believe money grows on trees'_, but my previous thoughts kept me in a passive mood. So instead I walked over to turn off the lamp.

"This is the latest I've seen you awake," I groaned, "Don't you have to work—"

A snore erupting from his chest quickly cut me off. My eyes stared down at his wrinkled face pressed against his fist, then shifted down to the TV remote tucked beneath his limp grasp. I knew we were both having a rough night because he only slept in the living room when he had a lot on his mind.

With yet another thorough sigh, I leaned over and turned off the lamp. Standing there for a moment longer in the darkness, a few more things crossed my mind that night as I stared at his sleeping face. Nothing I really care to repeat, but I knew that I had to cherish what I had. My mother was dead and I was selfish for thinking I was the only that ever thought about it. But at that very moment when I thought of her once more that night, something had happened so perfectly in sync that I knew it had to mean something.

The moment my mother's face drifted through my mind, my dad winced a little and shifted to the other side of the recliner.

"I know dad," I whispered, "I miss her, too."

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**Reviews help put Jacob to sleep... and are the next best thing to sleep**** that Edward can get. =] **


	4. Sort of an Invitation

**This chapter is a little short, but I wanted to keep consistent with the posts like I promised. I want to ease into the long chapters until you decide whether or not you're into the story. Plus Edward's part didn't really fit here.**

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**Jacob POV**

After a long night of tossing and turning, I eventually woke up to the beaming sun glaring at me through the window, which really was a sight for sore eyes considering it only happened maybe once or twice a month. Normally I'd be pretty pissed at such a wake up call, but I took advantage of days like these and spent them in the garage or out at the beach.

I quickly rolled out of bed, anxious at the day awaiting me, and pulled the blinds up to get the full effect of the vibrant light. My dad must've heard me from the other room because he was standing in my doorway before I could even turn around and acknowledge the difference in contrast throughout my room.

"Hey, you're awake," he smiled—almost like he was relieved—also totally aloof of what I sort of said to him last night.

"That's usually what happens after people go to sleep," I scowled, and then cleared my throat, noting my voice hadn't quite caught up with my alert mind yet.

He shrugged off the sarcasm, "I had to come in a few times and poke you to make sure you were still alive. Thought you'd want to go fishin' today, but the day is almost out, kid."

Good thing I slept through that offer. _Wait a minute._

"What time is it?"

He looked down at his watch, "A little after four."

I blinked and cocked my head back at his response, then tried to recall when I fell asleep. The last time I checked it was still dark out and figured it had to be somewhere between one and four. _There's no way I could've slept for over fourteen hours._ I looked back at the clock next to our family portrait and there it was in big, neon-green numbers. '_4:07'_

"Holy shit."

My dad raised a parental brow at my choice of words, "Anyway, Embry's been ringing for you all day and wanted me to tell you to call him back."

He air-quoted, "Says it's _urgent_."

Everything stupid was always important to Embry, so I never took his 'urgent' messages seriously. I dug my cell phone out of my pocket and noticed six missed calls from Embry and two from Quil. I hit the 'Call' button and slumped onto my bed. It must've been pretty serious because he answered within the first two rings.

"Where the hell have you been man? I've been calling all day!"

"Sorry, man I—" I looked over and noticed my dad still standing in the doorway, probably eager to hear what Embry had to say that was so 'urgent'.

"Hang on a second."

I pressed the phone to my chest and mouthed _'get out of here!' _to the nosey man, flailing my arm in the air. He melodramatically raised his hands and left. I huffed at the slight irritation and pulled the phone back up to my ear.

"I've been working in the garage all day," I lied, "What's up?"

"I really didn't believe your dad when he told me you've been sleeping all day, but the smell of your morning breath through the phone just confirmed it."

_The hell is it with people commenting on the way I smell lately?_ The small complex was significant enough for me to want to brush my teeth, so I walked into the bathroom and prepared my personal cleaning tools while Embry rattled on about something that was probably important to him—but definitely not important enough for me to care about.

"Okay, so what is it exactly that you're calling me for?" I interrupted, shoving the toothbrush in my mouth.

"Whoa! Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this afternoon," he sneered, then paused.

I could hear faint talking in the background.

"Hey, Quil just showed up, so we'll just come over and explain it." He hung up before I had the chance to object.

It would've been nice to organize my tools while I waited for them to show up, but Embry always surfaced in record time when he experienced one of his episodes. That being said, I always made sure to get things done by then. His mindless chattering was too distracting to work on anything—especially when he asks your opinion only to see if you're paying attention.

_Speak of the devil…_

"Well if it isn't Sleeping Beauty," Quil teased as they strolled in.

"At least you ended that sentence with beauty," I quipped, "I never knew you felt that way, Quil."

They stood inside the garage for a moment, looking at each other, and then to me; their facial expressions reading, _'you tell him' _had me nervous.

"What's the deal?" I shrugged.

Finally Quil spoke up, "Jessica Stanley's having a 'back to school' party on Saturday."

"Costumes, live music, drinks," Embry added, "Everything."

I rolled my eyes at Embry's cover up. He didn't care about the party; he only cared about the girl throwing it. This guy was so wrapped around her little finger and she didn't even care to give him the time of day. They could just see each other in passing and Embry would make it like they sat and talked for hours. I had to speak my mind.

"Dude, that chick doesn't give a shit about you," I snapped, "Why are you going out of your way to be nice to her?"

Quil covered his mouth to fight back a laugh. He knew what I was talking about.

"I'm not going just for her!" he debated, "It sounds like fun and it's not like we have anything better to do."

"Were you even invited?"

Quil couldn't hold back this time; a hearty laugh bellowed from his lungs and that gave it all away.

"He wanted to _surprise_ her," he confirmed.

"You've got to be kidding me."

But he wasn't; I looked over at Embry begging for him to tell me it was some sort of joke. Instead he kept his eyes to the ground and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. I sort of felt bad for him, so I passed on the urge to chastise him any further with an inner sigh and decided to go.

Once they had left, I desperately searched my room for a little piece of paper that currently held a high level of importance; Bella's phone number. She passed it along to me before we left and I couldn't, for the life of me, remember where I put it.

I rummaged through every nook and crevice; even going so far as to shaking out my sheets and lifting up my mattress until I found it patiently waiting for me beneath my nightstand. I picked up the little folded piece of paper and unraveled it to expose the neatly written number with _'Bella'_, in cursive, beneath it.

If I was going to go to a party where I didn't know anybody, I might as well bring somebody else to share the discomfort with. The conversation could've been smoother, so I'll spare the details of that awful scenario. On the bright side, she did agree to come, which was awesome. Even if I didn't talk to anybody else that night, at least Bella and I could laugh together while Embry made an ass out of himself in front of Jessica Stanley.

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Jessa will come refurnish your living room if you leave a review.


	5. Cliffhanger

**Alright, we compressed the chapters into one, so you won't have to go to all three to read them. It's really freaking long... but it's an important part of the story. Well, it builds the story. It'll get better. But of COURSE Bella and Edward have to have a decent introduction right? ;) Sorry for the lack of updates, this story WILL get finished. Megan's computer had a heart attack so we're really working hard to make sure the chapters get done. I promise everything will pick up when she gets it back. Punch her for it. Send me money. I deserve it.**

**Anyway, onto the story!**

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**Edward POV**

Never get caught, always blend with your environment, and remain undetected. Those were my rules and I am indeed a creature of habit.

I hovered along the moistened grass; eyes peeled, back arched, claws anticipating an insatiable need for compression. The midnight air felt brisk and cool, just a flourish of hot breath would be courteous enough to bring an end to this game of cat and mouse; monster versus beast. It would've been easier to keep things short and sweet, but my focus was always on the grand prize. So patiently I sat in that radiant hour; crouching, yet still attentive.

And there it was, rising from the tall meadows, broad elegance treading through the thickened woods. I could hear his heart pounding in a smooth, rhythmic percussion—my favorite part before the violence.

Unknowing. Completely content.

I came as quickly as I went—pressing his heavy jowls to the crook of my neck. Indeed the taste was bitter, but was well worth the over-feeding. My eyes had turned to a faint shade of ruby and I needed to look the part. Like Déjà Vu, I eased the resistance of my hold when he became weakened, then eventually listless. Such a quick and painless death—I at least owed him that.

I stared at the elegant creature before me, admiring his massive structure and branching antlers. I guess you can call it a cheap thrill, but I took pride in my tactics and applied them to all of the aspects in my life. Practice does make perfect, you know.

With an overly satisfied stomach, I quickly returned to the house and headed for the bathroom to see the progress. I gazed into reflection that mimicked my expression, deep between the smoky circles that hollowed my sockets and recognized the burnt-orange hue that quickly peeked through patchy scarlet; ever the traits of an omnivorous vampire. Feeding on both species was not unheard of, but usually only done when the subject is desperate enough. Making a routine of it, however, certainly wasn't common enough to be categorized.

I descended the staircase in a light gallop and looked to see Alice sulking on the couch with Jasper sitting next to her in comfort. He looked nearly as helpless as she did.

"Emmett wants you to go to a party tonight," her glum expression let me know the invitation was meant to be passed on, not extended. I switched to Jasper, whom avoided contact and kept his eyes on his mate.

"What party?" I asked.

Her eyes fell to the floor, leaving Jasper to intercept.

"Jessica Stanley's."

"Oh."

I knew their history well. Jessica had this discourteous opinion about Alice that I can only blame on jealousy. We have been through the same monotonous high school routine for years now and people have always had their speculations of us, but Alice certainly had it bad that year. Had it been my way, I would've disposed of this little problem months ago, especially after the way she treated my sister at our graduation.

Jessica was the class president of our high school and it was determined that she would call the students' to the stage. They were trying a new tradition by announcing your nickname along with your first and last. You can imagine the one she had in mind for my sister.

Alice saw it coming, but hoped the girl would have enough sense and morality to do the right thing. Unfortunately when it came to her name being called, Jessica pursued it as 'Alice _'freak show'_ Cullen'.

She managed a straight face when she accepted her diploma and acted as if the insult hadn't even been directed to her, but the ravenous embarrassment surging through told me differently than what the rest of the entertained faces were laughing at. When it was my turn to cross the stage, Jessica's humorous smile dropped when she caught sight of mine—which I made sure was anything but warm and endearing. I'm sure that horror will chase her dreams for the rest of her insignificant life; the brain dead bitch.

"I think you should go," Alice insisted, "You'll have a great time."

"No way," I smiled, "Not without my sister."

"Edward, she doesn't want me there."

"Well, I don't want _her there_. Would it make everything better if I made that happen?"

The lunacy of my humor pushed through in a smirk, but quickly vanished when I saw that Alice wasn't all that pleased. I'll have to try a little harder.

"Look, I know you really want to go." I sighed, "So don't let that idiot keep you from having a good time. She won't be a bother to you—I'll make sure of it."

A sense of warmth returned to her face as her smile lit up just like my rising sun.

"Promise?" she begged.

"I promise," I nodded.

She let out an uncontrollable squeal as she jumped up from the couch and darted to the staircase.

"Oh, I almost forgot," she reminded herself, turning around, "It's a costume party. I'm sorry, I forgot to mention that."

I silently groaned, but managed to fake a smile anyway.

"All the more fun," I lied.

Her smile imitated mine, "Thank you."

She floated up the staircase and disappeared. Jasper followed behind, turning briefly to give a thanking simper. I acknowledged it with a firm nod, continuing the forced, Cheshire grin until he vanished with her, and then dropped it with an overwhelming sigh.

_Who the fuck has a Halloween party in September? Any excuse to dress provocatively while vomiting in bushes, I suppose…_

It really won't be as bad as I'm making it out to be. If I just stay reclusive and cling to the walls, avoid all possible contact with everyone in the room, everything will be just fine. I've lived all my life behind a mask, so how hard will that be?

I mustn't be a very good liar. I can't even convince myself.

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**Jacob POV**

I almost felt ridiculous for even going. Could I get anymore cliché dressed as a damn vampire? It was an easy solution to a very last minute party invitation, and personally I didn't think I looked half bad, but Embry and Quil were right though; I probably could've picked something a little more original than an overly done mythological mutant.

I blew out all of my second thoughts in an alleviating sough and thrust the plastic fangs in my mouth. As I walked up to Bella's house, heaps of fall leaves crunched underneath my feet while I trudged through the messy yard and up to her front door.

Within a few rings, Bella answered and opened her mouth to say something, but stopped to better observe my choice of apparel.

"I'm loving the teeth." She chuckled.

The glitter on her face sparkled beneath her finely lined, smoky eyes. She closed the door behind her and jumped down the first step.

"Well, what am I?" she asked, spinning around in a perfect circle.

"Hm-mm…" I took a step back to examine her, over dramatically stroking my chin and pressing my lips together.

She had on a pink, corset…thing…that looked pretty hot—whatever it was—attached to a pair of glittery wings. Beneath that, a tiny black skirt with even more glittery, frilly stuff at the edges. That was pretty hot, too. What gave it away though was her tall heels and overly done knitted leggings. They might have been covered in glitter too, but I was too busy admiring the new sight of fleshy Bella that peeked through the diamond stitching.

"A whorish pixie"? I guessed with obvious sarcasm.

Her mouth fell open and she punched me in my shoulder.

"I'm a fairy you jerk!" she laughed.

When we reached the car, I opened the door and caught Quil and Embry stealing glances at her with gaping mouths. She obviously exceeded their assumptions of what Chief Swan's daughter looked like; even more so that I the one escorting her to the party. Yeah, that made me a little smug.

"After you, Tinker Bella." I bowed, gesturing towards the back seat.

"Well, thank you Dracula," she said in a theatrical voice.

Embry's car was cramped, but it couldn't have been a better time to be condensed next to a fairy; especially when that fairy just so happened to be turned on by Dracula's who could fix things without a manual. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. Even as we sat, side by side, I felt like she was someone you would only see in a movie; despite her costume of course. I don't think they'd ever allow a character like that in a Disney flick.

She joined in with Embry and Quil as they continued to scold me for my costume. I didn't know how either of them could talk: Quil was dressed as a dead baseball player and Embry wasn't even wearing one; claiming that he had grown out of dressing up anymore. We all knew he wasn't fooling anybody.

By the time we had reached the house, it had felt like we had gotten there a little too late, even though the clock only said it was around nine. Toilet paper hung from the trees, cups and bottles were scattered all over the yard—along with passed out teenagers—and it seemed like we were the only conscious people left standing. The only thing left to give it life was the blaring music from within the house.

"Well, are we just going to sit in this car or are we going to go party?" Quil shouted with excitement.

Bella and I looked at each other, smiling at Quil's overzealous statement.

"Yeah Jake." Bella laughed, "Ready to go _party_?"

I smirked at her mockery, shoving my fangs back into my mouth.

"The question is... are you?" I winked as I leaned over her to open the door.

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**Edward POV**

"Is it too late to change my mind?"

"We're already here. Besides, you weren't ridiculed from the sidewalk, so I think you're safe."

_You think I'm a freak too…_

I rolled my eyes, "Your _costume_, Alice. I was talking about your costume."

She looked down at her ensemble, slightly baffled at my remark, and then looked me up and down with her arms folded in a chiding stance. Her Wonder Woman costume was actually put together rather well, so I really wasn't demeaning her for that, but she had been having second thoughts about coming ever since she brought it up to me and I needed to shut her up. I however decided not to comply to the asinine idea of a month-in-advance Halloween party, so I didn't wear one.

"I'm a walking contradiction," I shrugged.

"How do you figure?"

"Think about it. The expectations of what people think a vampire is, truly isn't." I explained, "And here I am, truly representing what one looks like, but people would firmly disagree. "

I smirked a little towards my own quip.

"I wouldn't call that a contradiction."

"Then what would you call it?"

"Laziness."

My eyes swayed over to Jasper, whom started laughing behind her. The least he could do would be to stand up for me since I was salvaging him too from her commiseration.

"Hey, why don't you tell Alice why you're standing behind her?" I teased, "By the way, how are those spandex holding up?"

Alice turned to Jasper and his humorous expression quickly fell into embarrassment, but maintained a poker face for her. She had a thing for doing the couple theme every year, but asking him to put on a Superman outfit had to be the most humiliating request I've ever witnessed. I'll never understand it and I never plan on trying, but as much as it was his own fault for doing it, I still felt bad for the poor bastard.

We stood on the porch for nearly twenty minutes. It wasn't unusual for her to be so self-conscious, so patience had sort of become hand-in-hand when it came to my sister. I stood against the wall in silence, waiting with my head down while Jasper continued to lift her up with small compliments. For her, he had all the patience in the world.

Whatever he said must've worked, because we finally made it through the front door. The garbage of today's music blared through the house with the bass causing heavy vibrations through my chest. I was already a little irritated.

_Why do kids need to play music so fucking loud?_

I suppose it did keep all of the provocative, drunken thoughts stammering through my head. That's a relief.

Alice and Jasper camouflaged against the wall, trying to keep from Jessica's banter as we slowly cruised through the obnoxious crowd. Emmett and Rosalie left long before we did, so they were probably scattered in the deep sea of underage drinkers.

Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Edward, is that you?"

I turned around to a blemished, red-eyed Jessica Stanley smiling from ear to ear, beer in hand. She belched a chuckle and wiped her mouth, then caved me in with her arm around my neck to pull me closer to her face. Apparently I'd become used to the smell of cheap beer.

"I'm so glad you came!" she hollered.

I think she was hugging me.

"So am I," I lied, "Thank you for inviting us."

_What do you mean by 'us'? _she thought.

Her focus then turned to Alice, shifting her mood from welcoming, to increasingly aggravated.

"What the hell are you doing here? I didn't invite you."

Jasper overwhelmed her with solitude as he protectively pulled my sister into a comforting hold.

"I needed a designated driver." I politely intervened.

The idea of me drunk suddenly got her hormones raging.

"Oh, good," she stammered, "If you need a place to stay though, you're welcome here."

Before I could even give her a habitual thank you, she disappeared into the pool of nameless faces. I looked to Alice for a rewarding gesture, but instead received an empty stare. Now she was thoroughly uncomfortable. I naturally stood beside her in forfeit, finding entertainment from the fools around me dancing out of sync to the ear-bleeding music.

Among the bobbing heads were a few I recognized, Quil and Embry; and among them were a pair of faces I had never seen before; a young man and woman around my age. Well…you know. As I got a closer glimpse at the two, the guy's recognition slowly came into place, but I was still clueless to the new face.

"Who are you looking at?" Alice asked, noticing my stare and trying to follow it to the source.

"The girl next to Jacob Black." I responded, "Do you know her?"

Of course she did.

"That's Bella Swan, the Chief's daughter. She just moved here from Arizona."

I wasn't really intrigued—maybe a little curious at best. I tried to listen in on her thoughts, but the only thing I got from that though were the obstructing thumps from the speakers. I didn't care. She was nothing special and I sure as hell wasn't going to go unplug the sound system just to find out.

For some reason though, I continued to watch the group travel across the room and humorously admired how Jacob awkwardly tried to keep up with the brown-haired girl; almost like he was waiting for something to happen. For a mere second, her eyes met mine and we gazed at each other for what I hoped to be for more than just an acknowledging glance. Her eyebrows knit down to the lids of her eyes; inattentively bored towards the conversations around her. Can't say I blame her.

Soon after, she too disappeared in the other room, leaving me with the persistent redundancy. I looked to Jasper for some light-hearted conversation, but he was in his own little world with Alice and a couple of other people. Her glowing smile began to surface again. At least she was starting to come out of her bubble.

I took advantage of my freedom and strolled across the living room where most of the crowd had been congregating. There Emmett was sitting on a recliner with Rosalie on his lap talking to some people on the couch across from them. He instantly caught my gaze and waved me over with a half empty bottle held between his dominant fingers; taking a sip from it as soon as he turned away from me. He was giggling like an idiot, trying to fit in with the other idiots surrounding him.

"Is that a beer you're drinking?" I asked in a low voice, kneeling down in a close enough distance so that nobody else could hear.

"Think of it like the Placebo effect," he persisted, "I'm getting drunk from thinking that it's making me drunk."

He belted out another embarrassing giggle. I opened my mouth to say something, but couldn't think of the right words to express how stupid he was for believing that.

Rosalie lifted her hand to cease my anxious remark, "Just let him think what he wants. Believe me we've already had this argument."

I stood up and headed to the kitchen where the brown-haired girl had ventured to. I wasn't capable of fighting off Alice's pleas to stay at the party, so exiting the front door was out of the question. There had to be another way out of this place.

There were only a handful of people inside the broad room; those mostly clustered at the table playing beer pong while some others watched and cheered them on. I quickly located the sliding door and made my exit to freedom.

The misty cool air contrasted the humidity from inside and I released a deep exhale of visible breath that quickly disappeared into the darkness.

"Some party, huh?"

I turned around to see Jacob slumped against a folding chair with his eyes fixed on the twiddling faux teeth between his fingertips. Someone was having a rough night.

I smiled empathetically, "I was actually just leaving."

"Yeah, well I'd leave too, but my ride is in the middle of a winning streak."

He sounded even more pathetic than he looked; and that's pretty bad considering his clearance rack vampire costume merely consisted of only a cape and tacky makeup application. How typical.

I looked around briefly, "Where's the girl you came with?"

He looked up with a raised brow, "She left."

I nodded and looked around again, then trailed my eyes back to him. His focus turned back to the plastic fangs, pressing them together and opening them up, like his eyes had to visually see it happening. I tried to read his thoughts to see if he'd reveal where she went, but all they consisted of were repeated variations of _'God, I shouldn't have done that.'_

His cautious eyes stared up at me and broke my train of thought.

"Do you know her well?" I asked.

"Well enough to invite her to a party," he responded, "Why?"

"No particular reason." I shrugged, "I've just never seen her around before."

"I'll be sure to tell her you're interested."

He was getting aggravated, so I didn't push the small talk any further.

"I'll see you around, kid." I waved and made my exit through the driveway.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

I don't know what my problem was. I was fine until we reached the porch. Maybe I had been trying to block out the consequences of showing up—with another girl at that. It definitely hit me now though. As Embry eagerly reached for the knob, my stomach flipped and twisted into a tight knot and I truly thought I was going to be sick. I hunched over to ease the quivering sensation.

"Wait." I spat.

They all turned their heads as they stood at the door. Bella was the only one to come over.

"Hey, are you alright?" she asked, worriedly leaning over to look at my face. "Guys, wait a minute."

"I think we should go back." I replied, "Why don't we just do something at my house? My dad won't care."

Embry didn't bite, "For what? Are you telling me we basically got dressed up for nothing?"

I looked to Quil with a plea for some sort of rebuttal. He gazed back at me with his hands deep in his pockets, completely indifferent to the situation. Embry stood behind him, pissed off like I knew he'd be.

"Are you feeling sick or something?" she asked.

"Sort of."

"Well we can take you home if you want," she suggested, "I'm sure there are other people here that aren't drinking. I'll call my dad or something."

My stomach flipped again. I guess it was a good idea, but a million different 'what ifs' ran through my head when it came down to the person agreeing to drive them home. What if they were drunk? What if they got killed because of it? It could've been prevented and it would've been my fault if anything bad happened. I would never be able to live with myself.

"No, its fine. I think I just need to go sit down for a minute." I lied.

"Well, there! Now that we got that figured out lets go inside and find wuss boy a place to sit." Embry sneered, reaching for the knob a second time and quickly opening the door.

I never had a more sudden urge to stick a shotgun in my mouth. As soon as the door swung open, the bass of the music violently vibrated under my feet. It obviously looked a little different, but the familiar smell of Jessica's house brought back a lot of memories and replaced the nausea in my gut with a new feeling. One I couldn't really describe. Nostalgia maybe? Yeah, that and maybe a little dash of fuck this.

Everything was overdone with tacky Halloween Decorations: black and orange streamers dangled from every visible corner, paper skeletons twirled from the ceiling, and various colors of light pulsing on and off in the darkness. I'm pretty sure there was a disco ball too, but its accents were dimmed by all the commotion around it. It was all just another way for Jessica to show off all the money she had.

There were a few clever costumes I guess. One guy wore a bulky Incredible Hulk costume and painted his face green; another dressed as the guy from A Clockwork Orange. The girls were anything but original; all just slutty variations of cops, taxi drivers, and—shudder—playboy bunnies. I don't know why they all thought it was a good idea to leave the house with their asses hanging out. At least Bella wore a pair of purple tights beneath her outfit—which I still found sexy, if I might add.

She basically clung to me throughout most of the night. I could see why she would be so nervous walking into a place she had never been to with people she didn't even know—I couldn't recognize more than half of the them myself—but I tried my best to socialize her with the few faces I was familiar with.

The first group we encountered was Eric Yorkie and Angela Weber; whom were mingling with a few other people I didn't know.

"Hey, look who it is," Eric smiled.

"You're a zombie, huh?" I grinned, analyzing his costume.

"Yeah! Do you like my makeup?" he turned his face to show a grotesque, bloody cut, "Angela did it."

She leaned over his shoulder with a smile to reveal a matching wound, "Hey Jake! Nice costume!"

I could tell she was just trying to be polite.

"Thanks," I smiled, "This is my friend, Bella. She's new in town."

Bella politely grinned and waved, then joined in light conversation about how awesome the decorations were. I agreed only to avoid confrontation.

As we made our rounds from group to group I could tell she was starting to get a little more comfortable, but still kept her hand at the small curve of my back. It was all mostly small talk from there and a compliment towards each other's costumes, but it was actually pretty fun. A hell of a lot more fun than if it were just the three of us.

I knew a lot of the guys were dying to know the sparkly fairy. They all practically had 'fuck me' written across their foreheads just from the way they went out of their way to introduce her. Goes to show you don't need to dress like a whore to get all the attention. I really didn't mind it. They were all mindless idiots and Bella was clearly not interested in any of them and focused on her attention mostly on me—which made me feel pretty good.

There was only one guy that I was actually a little worried about—Edward Cullen. It wasn't the fact that he was a decent looking guy. The dude was simply really fucking weird. Never talked to anybody, never cared to acknowledge anyone around him, but still had the balls to show up to parties and still get all the attention. Sure enough, out of the corner of my eye, he stalked her with his eyes as soon as we entered the main room. I think I was jealous, but something inside of me made me dangle my arm across her shoulders, silently claiming her from the prowling eyes that were desperate to know my sparkly fairy. I could still feel his gaze even when we were entering into the kitchen.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked in her ear, talking over the booming music.

"Please!" she shouted.

I turned to the counter and grabbed one of the many displayed red cups filled with some sort of green liquid. Halloween-ish, I suppose. As soon as I handed it to her, she tipped the cup back and downed it rather quickly.

"Can you hand me another one?" she choked, covering her mouth.

I smiled and handed her another one; this time with orange liquid inside of it. Again, she downed it faster than I could dish out. Damn, this girl was definitely a drinker.

"Can you hand me another one?" she repeated. I was baffled, but handed her yet another cup of liquor.

I could tell she was well on her way to being drunk because she wasn't as steady on her feet. She was engaging more liberally in conversation and laughing with everyone around her. I loved her laugh, it was so refreshing. The more she drank, the more she loosened up. It was like she was letting her guard down a little more and more—which was nice. I couldn't help but smile as I read her facial expressions change as the conversation with everyone started to get redundant. She was sighing and rubbing her neck like she was ready to move on.

"Want to go outside with me?" she asked, "I need a cigarette."

I nodded and led her to the back door, opening it for her before shutting it behind me, drowning out the noise along with it. Her lighter flicked a few times behind me as I plopped in the nearest available lawn chair.

"So, have you been having fun?" I asked, rubbing my tired eyes.

She slumped down next to me in the beach chair and let out a sigh of relief through a puff of thick smoke.

"Yes, actually I'm really glad I came." She slurred thankfully, "Thanks for inviting me by the way."

"Well, I'm glad you came." I said with a sympathetic smile.

She stared at me through heavy lids, smiling back with a Cheshire grin. Her eyes were bloodshot and glossy. She was going to have a sour morning. At least she was enjoying it while it lasted.

We stayed this way for a few minutes, but I didn't have much time to react before her lips touched mine. Her clammy hands grazed my cheeks as she breathed into me. Her breath tasted like cheap whisky. I quickly pulled away, but the bitter taste still lingered on my lips.

"This doesn't feel right." I admitted.

"Why not?" she asked.

"You're drunk Bella."

She shook her head and covered her face with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry Jake, your right. I don't know why I did that."

"It's fine." I told her, "Really, don't worry about it. It happens all the time."

She didn't even catch my joke before she stood up and stumbled back inside the house and before I could even chase after her, Jessica blocked the doorway with a weird sort of smile—fantastic. The very last person I wanted to see at this moment.

"Well, wasn't that enchanting?" she giggled sarcastically.

"Jessica, I don't have time for this right now. Can we play the catch up game later?" I retorted.

"Who said anything about catching up?" she flirted, stumbling in my direction.

I don't know what the hell it was about tonight, but she snaked her hands around my neck and thrust her nasty lips onto mine, just the way Bella did—only sloppier and less desired. I quickly pried her hands off of me and pulled away, wiping the mixture of spit and booze from my mouth.

She laughed, "Doesn't that bring you back a little bit, or are you still hung up over that girl who left you in the dust?"

"You are really pathetic." I spat, turning for the door.

"Jake, wait!" she called.

I stopped, but kept my head straight. I didn't even want to look at her right now.

"What." I hissed.

"I miss you." She whined.

I opened the door and slammed it behind me, leaving her to sulk in her reminiscing, drunken stupor. Much hasn't really changed inside besides more than half of the people leaving, but the kitchen table was still crowded with people and the floors were now covered in a sticky substance.

Quil caught sight of me and waved. "Hold up, I've got a partner!" he shouted to the group around him, "Jake, come play man! I need you!"

I violently shook my head. "Have you seen Bella?" I asked.

"No dude, she left!" he shouted back.

"What do you mean she left?" I growled.

"I don't know, dude! She left like five minutes ago!"

Now I felt like shit. With a heavy groan, I walked back out to the porch, completely forgetting that Jessica was waiting for me. To my surprise, she wasn't. She wasn't anywhere at all. I figured she was probably heaving in some bushes somewhere, so I took advantage of the quiet time and sat down to reflect; pulling the plastic teeth from my mouth and rolling my eyes. Had I had known she was going to kiss me; I would've at least pulled them out first.

Suddenly, the door opened and closed. My eyes floated up to see the bronze-haired douche bag standing with his back to me. He knew I was there, but was obviously trying to avoid contact with me. I was in the mood for a little verbal confrontation.

"Some party, huh?" I sneered.

The conversation basically led to nowhere, but I didn't like how he insisted on asking where Bella was. That pissed me off a little. It wasn't jealousy, but it was also none of his business. Especially when he asked how well I knew her.

"I'll be sure to tell her you're interested." I spat.

He let out a faint laugh and mumbled a few inaudible words I couldn't make out, and then walked off. I ignored his passive-aggressive comment and decided to walk back inside to search for my friends. I knew Quil was right when he said Bella had probably gone home, so I needed to make sure the rest of my friends got home safely, too.

Embry was leaning against the counter with his eyes closed; probably trying to keep from falling over, but quickly opened them when he felt my presence.

"Buddy!" He shouted as I approached him, "Hey, have you seen Jessica?"

I groaned. "No I haven't," I lied, "Have you seen Quil?"

"He got a ride home with Eric," he mumbled, closing his eyes again. "I think Bella left, too."

"Do you know with whom?" I asked.

He shrugged, "I think her dad came to get her or something. She said to tell you she was sorry and she'll call you tomorrow or something." His chest rumbled with an uproar of something unpleasant, "Dude, can we go home now?"

I looked around and noticed the party had dwindled to only a handful of people. It must've been a lot later than I thought.

"Good idea." I nodded.

I decided it'd be best if Embry just stayed at my house. I'm sure his parents wouldn't appreciate him throwing up all over their carpet—least I had wooded floors. I dragged his passed out, limp body into my room and laid him on the floor next to my bed and placed a blanket over him, like the gentleman I was, before slumping into bed myself.

I mostly thought about Bella for the remainder of the night—if she was okay or mad at me for not kissing her back like she was expecting me to. It just didn't feel right, but another part of me told me that I should've just manned up and went along with it. That was possibly the only chance I had with Bella, as pathetic as that sounds. Oh well. That ship has sailed and I'm sure it's never coming back again.

* * *

**Edward POV**

I loved the night. It was the only time I didn't have to be careful, but that didn't mean I was allowed to get sloppy either. I was good at that and made a habit of it. After a kill–after all the carnage–I came to this very spot to seek my medium. Maybe I was just bullshitting myself, but I had to think—to be sure that everything was profitable and the world was truly benefiting from all of this.

I pushed through the familiar path of bushes and limbs in anticipation for my reward of gentle repose; the calm between storms, my hideaway. The ocean breeze swayed its passionate breath in a flush of cool wisps as I edged towards the bluff and soaked my lungs between deep gasps. _Beautiful…_

My ears perked up to a sound of faint whimpering coming from just beyond a patch of tall grass. I don't know what boiled my curiosity more: the somber cries or how it is they got there in the first place. I chose this cliff specifically for the fact that humans were incapable of getting to it; a dense maze of poisonous forests and steep terrain. Of course I had to find out who was thick-headed enough to brave it. So I quietly pushed through and peeked through the lee-way of grass between my two fingers—and there she was—in all her glory, a shimmering fairy standing before the moon, offering her beauty to the envious night.

Her sobs cut through the silent air, calling for resiliency and leisure as she looked down at the cliff's base, fists balled at her sides drawing her back with hesitation. The bottle of cheap whiskey next to her feet didn't make me think too hard about what she was planning on doing. I very much knew how she felt.

"That's a pretty steep fall you know."

She frantically spun around with a startled expression. Thankfully the annoying cries had stopped. We gazed into each others eyes, both of us probably wondering what the other was doing there.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, confirming my thoughts.

"Question is—what are _you_ doing _here_?" I retorted, "Nobody comes to this spot."

"Well," she paused, "probably the same way you did."

I bit my lip to fight back a smile. Of course she didn't.

She shook her head, "So what do you want?"

"Why—are you in a hurry or something?"

I couldn't resist, that had me smiling.

"More or less."

"Well I'd wait for you," I told her, "but honestly how much of a conversation can you have with a dead person?" I leaned over the edge and peeked at the bottom. "Like I said, that's a long way down. But it's not the bottom I'm worried about."

She mimicked my stance, "What do you mean?"

"Well, you see how it doesn't exactly drop off? You'll hit the jagged rocks a few times before you even reach the bottom. And if _that_ doesn't kill you—" She winced. "—you'll sink to the bottom of the ocean, paralyzed of course, and will eventually drown."

"I'll give myself a running start so that won't happen," she proposed.

"That's if you're lucky enough to still be alive without drowning," I continued, "Sharks are very turned on by blood. All that chum hanging out will surely entice a few your way."

I looked at her and swung my fist, "Gobble you right up."

I took a few satisfied steps away from the edge and leaned against a brittle tree and crossed my arms.

_That had to of scared her out of it._ I smiled to myself.

So I tried to find out. I don't know why I cared so much. If I could see that she was truly offering her life, I would happily oblige in taking it from her. I just needed a solid reason: a deep dark secret, something she did that was so terrible that she would simply not be able to live with herself any longer.

Unfortunately, nothing came up. I don't know why or how—probably because my ears were still ringing from that stupid party. That's alright—at least she's still here. That's good news. If I could keep her alive at least until I left, I would be safe. No need to get myself pinned for a murder I didn't even commit. Wouldn't that be ironic?

"I'm sorry, how rude of me for not asking the name of my savior," she sarcastically sneered.

I extended my hand, "Edward, and yours?"

Her face drooped in disappointment toward my reaction, "Bella Swan."

I nodded and dropped my arm.

"I think my parents were overly pretentious," she concluded.

My lips curled into a goofy smile. That's what I always said when people questioned my old-fashioned name.

"Well Bella, surely your problems aren't worth putting yourself through that kind of torture," I told her halfheartedly.

"You can't justify the way a person suffers," she muttered.

"And you think your suffering is worth ending your life?" I asked.

"It's none of your fucking business, for one," she snapped, "Second of all, who are you to mosey your ass on over here and pretend to care about things you know nothing about?"

That pissed me off a little.

"It became my business the moment you opened your mouth," I scolded, "Furthermore it doesn't take a good friend to tell you your life is worth more than splattering your guts all over the bottom of a cliff. Any stranger can enlighten you with that. So unless you murdered somebody or have been force-fucked by some stranger, then I doubt you're life is as pitiful as you're claiming."

"And what if I did murder somebody?"

I raised a brow, "Did you?"

She shrugged.

"Then go ahead and jump," I insisted, "I'm not going to hold you back from that. But I don't think you did, so let's not jump to conclusions."

_No pun intended._

"What makes you think I'm not capable of killing somebody?" she put her hands on her hip, "I could have slaughtered hundreds of people and you would never know."

_Likewise, darling._

"I wouldn't be surprised, but that's not the typical trait fairies possess." I smiled.

She looked down and rolled her eyes, "Looks can be very deceiving."

I shook my head, "No, I don't think so. You're just a mischievous little creature that likes to take things and sprinkle fairy dust on children so they can fly."

"You're talking about Tinker Bell."

"Isn't she a fairy?"

"Yes, but I'm not Tinker Bell. I'm a lot more vindictive and malice."

"Oh right. You're the kind that ties people's shoes when they're not looking." I chuckled, "Definitely worth ending your life over."

She laughed. Finally, a refreshing laugh to cut through the awkward persuasion! I was finally getting somewhere.

She stared at her feet, "That's the first time I've genuinely laughed at something in a long time. It feels nice."

"I can promise you much more of that, but first you need to step away from that edge," I told her as I held out my hand, "Come on."

She blessed me with a grateful smile and took a step forward. From that point on, everything passed in slow motion. Her foot slipped on the glass bottle, kicking it back with her foot following behind it. She slammed against the ground as the heavier lower-half of her body pulled her over the edge. She then began frantically gripping at the deep-rooted grass, desperately searching for a tight hold as her lungs belted out, screaming bloody murder. I could've had her up and out of harm in less than the time it took her to trip over that bottle, but she needed to have that moment where her life flashes before her eyes and suddenly everything becomes clear. Of course I wouldn't let her fall, so I grabbed her arms and attempted to pull her up.

But as soon as I gripped her forearms, my eyes fell into a cold stare at the ground below Bella's flinging legs. _To let her drop would mean another death; another nail in my coffin._ But oh–did my mouth salivate. _How sweet her youthful nectar must taste. Nobody will ever know. I'll break her neck and suck her dry, then drop her to her watery grave. Sure, I'd need to hunt a little further from home–don't need the county sheriff's to get a little curious_. _No! _

"Please!" She cried, "Please, pull me up! I don't want to die!"

I rapidly shook my head, but the thoughts continued to rattle from side to side. Bella's begging eyes gazed into mine, full of utter terror, as I gently pulled her up a little and loosened my grip to simulate the difficulty of lifting her. The attractive taste of death danced on my tongue as I glared back, trying to end the feud between good and evil raging inside of me. My thoughts spiraled into sheer darkness._ Nobody here is going to miss her, she just moved here. You won't have to worry. Just quickly feed and drop her. Simple as that. _

"Isn't this what you wanted?" I coldly asked.

"No!" She screamed, "Edward, please! I'm sorry. I take it back!"

"Nobody will ever think twice…" I told myself.

I looked her in the eyes one last time.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Her eyes widened and quickly fastened shut. At first my hands quivered, but eventually pulled her up and over my body as I sluggishly fell back against the grass. _Should I be proud or disappointed in myself right now? _I sighed and flung my hands over my head, lazily resting them on the damp surface above me. I could feel the cloth moisten against my skin as she buried her face into my chest and sobbed, bunching my shirt into her tiny fists.

I let her cry. Mostly out of envy. If I was able to, I would. It was a very emotionally draining night for the both of us. We stayed this way for several minutes until she stopped and slowly lifted her head. Her heartbeat continuously fluttered against me. _Damn it._

"Are you alright?" I finally asked.

"Yes," she sniffled, sitting up a little, "Thank you."

"_Don't thank me._" I protested, "I could've done better."

She wiped her nose, "You were there like a second after I slipped."

"I could've been faster…"

"Don't be ridiculous, you're only human."

I huffed at her unknowing reassurance. She wiped her nose a final time and stood up, looking over to where she had just slipped.

"So what now, suicide fairy?" She asked me, looking down with a warm smile.

_Good to know_ somebody_ felt relieved._

"What are your plans for the rest of the night?" I smiled back.

"I didn't really plan on having any," she winked, "Why?"

"Well you sort of owe me a favor, don't you?"

"I'm not doing any sexual favors," she sneered with a giggle.

"No!" I laughed, "I just want a little company. Would you mind?"

"For how long?" She asked.

I looked around. It was almost morning.

"Just until daybreak."

She quickly nodded and laid beside me, resting her hands on her stomach.

"So what were you sorry about?" She asked me.

"What?"

"When I was hanging there–" she said, "–you told me you were sorry. Why?"

"Oh, that." I blinked, "I don't remember."

She rounded her lips to mouth an 'oh'.

"So what brings you to Forks?" I asked, "Do you have a lot of family here or something?"

"It's a long story…" she trailed off.

"We've got a while." I reassured her with a smile.

That night she told me everything: about her mom and dad's divorce, to her mom kicking her out, and how her dad was always distant and hardly ever there for her. Nothing unusual for a teenager to be depressed about, but definitely not something you'd kill yourself over. I didn't press the issue. I was hoping she'd eventually let it out, but she didn't. She just kept on smiling–laughing every few minutes. She told me she never truly laughed and that somehow made me feel better for saving her. For salvaging a life, even if it made my throat quake.

She asked about my family, so I told her the basics. About Carlisle and Esme and how they adopted us all. I told her about all the places I've seen and the few I've yet to travel to. It was amusing to see how her face lit up when I mentioned one that she was curious about. She then asked what my goals in life were, so I told her the ones I had when I was still alive. That I eventually wanted a family and a big house; and that I wanted to be a famous composer with a lot of respected pieces.

"You play the piano?" She said jubilantly.

I nodded.

"Play for me sometime." She smirked.

"I promise." I smirked back.

We continued this way until morning came. She said a story and I happily returned with one of my own, shifting positions, but remained on the ground. Completely attentive. Tit for tat. Just as my warm Goddess welcomed us with her presence, her phone began to ring. And then it rang again. And again. She sighed loudly and pulled it from her jeans, looked at the caller ID, then stuffed it back in her pocket.

"Do you need to take that?" I asked her, propping myself up with my elbow.

"No, it's just a friend I went to that party with." She told me, "I'll call him tomorrow."

"Did you tell him you were leaving?"

"No, something happened and I had to leave…"

_That explains a lot. Sort of._

"Well, do you need a ride home?" I asked.

She smiled, "Not right now."

* * *

Whew! Did you make it through all that?


	6. PostParty Tension

Man, thank you all for all your kind reviews. It really motivates us to keep writing and inspires us with new ideas and twists. You're all simply fantastic. Tell you what, if you keep this up, Megan promises to come to all your houses and cook you a gourmet meal... for a _year_! Each dish lavished with love and appreciation. Tell all your friends! Checks and money orders are payable to my PayPal account. I've got a serious drug habit to keep up with.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy the next chapter.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

I kept checking my phone at least a dozen times every day to make sure I didn't miss any calls or texts. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she was completely ignoring me. I've been beating myself up over that almost-kiss for the past week and it began eating me from the inside out. Why didn't' I just let her kiss me? I should have just kept my mouth shut. I may have thought about kissing her a little more than I probably should, but I knew it needed to be a little more sentimental than just a sloppy drunk kiss. That could've been the highlight of my life and Bella wouldn't remember any of it. That's what bothered me the most.

The next weekend my dad and I went to her house to watch the game and I was hoping I'd get to see her then, but apparently she had started a new job at the twenty-four hour diner in town. _Son of a bitch. That had to be the reason—she was just busy with work._ I way. A week is too long to use that excuse anymore.

The more I sat on that couch thinking about how selfish she was for not even giving me a courtesy phone call, the more it made me want to hear her excuse for it; because there was none. She didn't care, that was obvious, but it goes far beyond just being some guy she ended up locking lips with.

"Yeah!" the men screamed.

I jerked forward from the noise, remembering where I actually was, then rolled my eyes and leaned back. I didn't want to be here.

"Eat some pizza Jake." Charlie told me, shoving nearly a whole slice into his mouth.

"I'm alright, thanks." I waved.

"What's the matter boy? You haven't said a word all night." My dad asked.

I shrugged. I suppose I was a little quieter than usual, but I didn't really notice that much.

"You don't have to stay here if you don't want to," Charlie told me, "Why don't you go see Bella or somethin'? The place usually dead at this time anyway."

"I rode with my dad though." I told him with disappointment.

"I'll drop you off if you can find a way home," my dad suggested.

"There you go," Charlie added. "Maybe Bella will give you a ride."

Like that won't be uncomfortable. _Look Bella, I know I just called you every name in the book… but would you mind giving me a ride home? _Right.I'll be giving Embry a call for sure.

We pulled the noisy truck into a vacant spot near the entrance. I hadn't been to this place in years. You know when you go somewhere when you're a kid and think it's totally cool and exciting, and then come back years later and realize how stupid you were for liking it so much? I mean, the same sign reading 'The Soda Fountain' has been there since I could remember and I'm pretty sure the same waitresses, besides Bella, are still working there.; which was disgusting because they're made to wear busty shirts and short shorts. I'll spare the mental image on that one.

"Alright, have fun kiddo." My dad winked, shifting the car into reverse.

"Don't wink at me dad." I scoffed as I slid out of the truck, "Guys don't wink at each other."

"Sorry bud, all this pickin' you up and droppin' you off makes me miss having a girlfriend." He chucked, "I'll just go ahead and figure I'll pick you up in a couple hours. Not like I haven't done it before!"

"Ha-ha-ha." I sneered before slamming the door.

It was a fifties-themed diner that became fairly popular over the years in our small town. I could see customers through the wall of windows sitting at the bar, chatting over their coffee and meals. A little girl sat next to her dad eating an ice cream cone. Both of them had smiles on their faces as she happily licked the frozen dessert and swung her legs beneath the stool. Such a cliché picture but it made me wonder about Charlie and Bella's relationship. I know that she didn't have much of a relationship with him but I couldn't help but feel sad for the guy. I've known him all my life and have always felt some sort of an impression of guilt.

I walked around the side, casually peeking in to catch a glimpse of Bella as I swung open the door. A little bell at the top of the door chimed, letting the staff know I was there. A sign read 'Please wait to be seated, thank you.' I nodded at the inanimate object and rocked back and forth, still looking around.

"Table for one?" a small blonde-haired girl greeted me.

"Yes, please."

"Do you want to sit in a booth or a stool?"

"Stool."

Booths have always been a little too personal for me.

"Smoking or non-smoking?"

I chose carefully, rolling my eyes around in thought.

"Smoking."

"Great. Right this way."

I could spot Bella in the corner of my eye as soon as I sat down. She was making her rounds from table to table, passing out drinks and desserts on a tray over her shoulder. She placed it on the booth in front of us and gave the group of guys her best fake smile she had. Her messy ponytail revealed that she had been working for a while and was probably tired. I was almost contemplating whether or not it was even the right time to discuss anything tonight.

She pulled out a pad of paper from the front of her apron and began taking their order; making sure to keep that fake smile stapled across her face. It was amusing to watch her: her smile said she was happy to serve them, but her eyes secretly told me she really wanted to stab their eyes out with a fork. She casually turned around and caught my stare, turning her smile into something more genuine as she approached me.

"Jake, I didn't expect to see your face tonight." She said cheerfully, then looked around, "Why are you in this section?"

"Because I knew you'd be here," I smirked.

"Clever boy," she praised, briefly turning her head to the kitchen, "Hang on one second."

She disappeared into the kitchen. At least I know that she doesn't hate my guts. This isn't going to be as bad as I thought. I listened to our dads talk about the pointless fishing trip that they were so excited for. Bella came out of the kitchen with the two slices of pie. She placed them on the table carefully.

"I'm going on break. Want to come?" She suggested.

"Sure." I said and stood up, following her to the exit near the back of the diner. She sat down on a wooden crate next to the dumpster and lit a cigarette. I leaned against the brick wall across from her and put my hands in my pockets. She smiled at me waiting for me to start the conversation she was dreading.

"So I can see you've been ignoring me all week," I bluntly stated, "What happened to you that night?"

She took a long drag of her cigarette and exhaled a long puff of smoke.

"Ah, yeah, I'm sorry about that." She apologized, rubbing the back of her neck, "I've been so busy with work I just didn't have the chance to call you back."

_So what else is new?_

"So what happened then?" I said, annoyed.

"I got a ride home from someone else." She stated. I shook my head, waiting for her to be a little more descriptive. Of course I wanted more information.

"Edward Cullen…" she muttered.

"I knew it." I huffed, looking away.

I don't know why that upset me so much. Was I jealous? I replayed the conversation I had with Edward that night and, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Did they plan this ahead of time? I was starting to think I was being irrational and had to calm myself down before I said things I didn't mean.

"You didn't think it'd be important to tell me that you found another ride?" I scolded her.

"What are you, my fucking dad or something?" She spat angrily.

I had so many questions pondering in my mind but knew I had to keep my mouth shut or she'd surely put that cigarette out on my face.

"He just drove you home then." I assumed, rather than asking.

"No dad, I gave him road head on the way to the house and sat in my driveway doing blow off of the dashboard until the sun came up," she snapped, "Anything else you want to know?"

I looked at her in shock from her response. Is it just me, or is she getting sincerely defensive? I got the feeling it would be a smart thing to just walk away. So I did.

"Jake, stop. I was kidding." She said laughing, "Are you seriously leaving?"

I walked around the front of the diner and left her sitting on the wooden crate, all alone, smoking her cancer stick. I needed a second opinion on this situation before I royally fucked this up any more than I already did, so I wasted no time in calling Embry. Which was a waste anyway considering how long it took for him to get there.

"So, what's going on?" he asked, staring at my hands cranking up the heat in his car, "Damn dude, it's not even that cold outside. You're going to slaughter my gas gauge."

"It's forty degrees outside!" I widely blinked at him, "And you had me waiting for forty five minutes. Fuck you, the heat stays on."

I was so upset and annoyed by the situation and all Embry could think about was his damn gas tank.

"Did you know that Bella left Jessica's party with Edward Cullen?" I stated. His face was as shocked as mine was when Bella told me.

"No, but that is really random. How do you know?" he asked.

"Bella just told me and got upset when I started asking her about it." I explained.

"Do they even know each other?" he wondered.

I couldn't be as crazy as I thought because he seemed to be asking the same questions I had.

"I don't know, he asked me about her that night right after she took off." I said.

"Wait, wait, wait. He asked you about her and then ended up driving her home?" he said turning the heat down.

I hate that Embry was only fueling my suspicion. I wish he would tell me that I had nothing to worry about and that Edward probably just drove her home out of the kindness of his heart. He knew that I liked Bella; maybe he just doesn't want me to get hurt and I can appreciate that.

"Yeah, I know. I don't know if I should be mad at her or not. I mean she totally avoided my calls all week. I just feel so stupid about the whole situation. She kissed me and I totally fucked up and told her to stop." I confessed.

He slowly turned his head to me with his jaw hanging open.

"Why the hell did you do that? Who does that? What are you twelve?" He joked.

I should have known he would have reacted that way but I couldn't help but find it really annoying that I wasn't getting any type of relief from this conversation.

"I don't know, I just didn't want…I don't know, I have no idea why I did that." I said with a whine.

"Okay, this is easily fixable." He finally said. Now here comes the relief. I turned toward him waiting for his idea.

"First off, you're falling _deep_ into the friend zone. Girls don't like guys who have no lives and who cling to them like plastic wrap. You need to back off man. Don't get all jealous over this girl that you hardly know." He said with confidence.

He was right and I couldn't deny that. I needed to let her come to me. Admitting this to myself made me feel even worse, but there was no other way around it.

At least his advice was better than anything Quil had to offer me.

"You know they totally screwed Jake." He hackled, thumbing the game controller violently at the TV screen. "That Cullen kid is weird as hell and she was so wasted."

Embry rolled his eyes and looked over at me and mouthed 'he's a dumbass'. I was actually surprised at how attentive he still was considering the fact that he was practically glued to the TV screen.

"I mean, especially if she is getting all defensive right?" He noted, "Obviously she has other things on her mind like fucking Cullen. I say just hit it and quit it, you know? Get a piece of that before he runs her dry."

Embry shook his head, "You're an idiot Quil."

"Actually, I think he has a point," I shrugged.

I didn't really apply anything he said, I never did, but I was far too entertained to pass on the daily dose of insight from good old Quil.

"You're kidding me, right?" Embry winced extending his arm out to Quil, "You're going to listen to somebody who hasn't had a stable relationship with a girl since grade school."

"Easy man, bitches love me." Quil chuckled. "So listen to _me_ Jake, just get what you need and move on. There are other fish in the sea. Stop being a pussy."

"Okay and we're done with this conversation," I laughed.

The rest of night consisted of redundant video games and pointless conversations, mostly us invoking more wise words out of Quil. Embry finally caught onto my need for entertainment and joined in on giving him shit for his stupid relationship advice. They didn't bring up Edward or Bella for the rest of the night, but the thought of it still lingered on my mind. Why couldn't I shake off this jealous feeling?

My dad hadn't called me so he was probably still hanging out at Charlie's or at home in bed, so I didn't even bother to call him. It was a short walk anyway. I don't know what those two could possibly have to talk about all the time; both being single adult males that do nothing but drink and fish. Embry was right when he said that if I didn't do something soon, that was probably how my life was going to end up; a lonely old man in a chair, talking with Quil-whom of course was going to follow the same path-about fishing tackle over a case of cheap beer. I shuddered at the thought of my indefinite future.

I tossed and turned for hours, I couldn't stop thinking of what could've possibly happened between Bella and Edward. As I slowly began to finally fall asleep, I heard a vacant sound of taps rocks clinking at my window. I swear, if my drunken ass dad locked himself out of the house again I was going to be pissed. I sluggishly pulled myself into a sitting position and stared out the window. It was Bella. I opened the window, wincing at the cool breeze suddenly engulfing through my room.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I questioned. "

I just got off work. Did I wake you?" She was still wearing her work uniform.

"No," I lied, "I'll be right out"

I walked into the hallway trying to make the least amount of noise as possible. I knew my dad was probably passed out from a night of drinking with Charlie, so I didn't try too hard to keep quiet. He was out like a light. I walked out the front door and where Bella was waiting for me. Her hands hugging her shoulders trying to keep herself warm.

I laughed and gave her a crooked smile, "Cold?"

"_Freezing_." She replied.

I had her follow me to the garage and offered her a seat on top of a pile of old tires before pulling out my space heater.

"I usually only use this during the winter," I told her, "But I don't mind sharing."

I caught myself looking at her lighting up a cigarette.

"Don't look at me like that Jacob Black." She said through a cloud of smoke.

"I just rarely see you without a cigarette in your mouth." I said.

"Yeah, well I rarely see you without a silly grin on your face." She light-heartedly said in defense.

"Well, I can't help that I met this cute girl who has me smiling all the time." I smirked.

She laughed. At least she didn't reject my flirting.

She finished her cigarette and smashed it into the concrete floor of the garage. She flipped her hair to one side revealing her bare neck.

"Sit next to me, there's plenty of room." She tapped the small area of vacant tire next to her.

I sat close enough that our bodies touched. We both looked into each other's eyes and silently stared for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry about what happened earlier." She apologized.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried so much. I was out of place," I said, "Just worried, is all."

"If it makes you feel any better I can't stop thinking about that kiss we shared." She titled her head. "You know the one that you rejected?"

"You just had to bring it up," I laughed.

She didn't laugh.

"Wanna try it again?" I cautiously asked, half joking.

It was worth asking.

She leaned in close to me. I could feel her warm breath getting closer to my lips.

"I don't think your garage is romantic enough for a first kiss." She whispered, slowly pulling away.

* * *

That made me shiver a little...how about you? :)


	7. A Lot of Baggage

**I know you're all a little pissed at how much we're slacking with updates, but check out this chapter. Go on, scroll down really fast and come back up. I'll wait.**

***waits waits waits***

**Yeah, you see that? Pretty fuckin' long, isn't it? I've been writing every day since our last chapter...trying to make it interesting... so keep that in mind when you're looking for a stone to throw at me when you see me in the streets begging for dollars to nourish my expensive coke habit. I need a muzzle.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

**Edward POV**

_One week later… _

I am the thing in the woods; the monster shifting between shadows. The curious have falsely documented my kind for centuries and have done us the great nobility of molding us into affectionate creatures with dark habits, but tonight, I am anything but remorseful. I am the abomination of every supernatural entity man will ever fear, the reason why children cower beneath their covers, and the shiver you feel when you sense something behind you.

…She felt me behind her.

Those porcelain legs tightened to an anxious trot and I amusingly trailed behind, allowing the distance to execute her impatient trials with mortality. My favorite game of cat and mouse; it made my lips quivered with thirst, but I had to be patient.

I jumped from one sturdy branch to the next.

She quickly spun around, "Is someone there?"

Her nervous eyes moved into my direction.

"Yes," I quietly replied.

We both waited in silence, carefully waiting for sudden movement. She shook off the annoying sensation to run and continued at the same pace.

I hadn't planned on feeding tonight to be honest. This one sort of just fell into my lap while I was on my way home from a midnight stroll. I didn't like staying out too late and made it my priority to make it home by dawn, but this one really perked my interest and I couldn't resist the further research. It made things a lot easier when the person was drunk, too. Not only because they were less aware of their surroundings, but because their thoughts processed like a lucid dream. She was a murderer—not a conventional one—but still a heartless killer in her own little way.

I continued from one tree to the next, closing in on her as she rounded the corner of the dark, deserted street. I knew this neighborhood fairly well. She was going exactly where I needed her to be. She kept her focus forward as soon as she realized the streetlights were no longer aiding in her safety and began walking even faster. Now she was teasing me.

_Why the hell did I decide to walk home alone? I should've just stayed with Amy. Oh my God, I am so lost. _

"How unfortunate—I almost feel sorry for you." I quietly responded with a crooked smile.

I gently eased down from the branch and landed steadily on my feet, walking into her view as casually as I could so I wouldn't startle her. Her eyes quickly met mine, but were relieved to see me. Lucky for me the fear in her heart subsided and it was now all the more effortless to reel her in. I pretended to ignore her by walking on the opposite side of the street, keeping my eyes to the sidewalk with my hands buried in my jacket while observing her movements in my peripheral view.

"Excuse me." she commanded rather than asking.

I lifted my head attentively in her direction.

"I need some help." She laughed, "I have no idea where I'm going and I feel like I've been walking for hours."

_You have been. You're just too drunk to notice._

"Sure." I shrugged, "Where are you going?"

"Do you know where Church Street is?"

I laughed.

"I'm not even close, am I?" she groaned.

"You've got another mile of exercise ahead of you." She sighed and slumped in disbelief. I nodded behind her and pointed, "Down that way and around the corner. I could take you if you want. I'm going that way anyway."

She agreed and followed beside me. They never said no. They wanted my company. I was comforting and desirable by nature.

I took advantage of the long walk by festering inside of her head, asking her simple questions pertaining to who she was and what she was feeling, but her mind was too cluttered with ideas on how she was going to fuck me tonight for me to attain anything useful. That was my only problem with drunks—that's all they had on their mind. I told her a little about my life, mostly lies of course, but was sure to revert the conversation back to her. She was the star of the show, after all. The tragic heroine with a sadistic twist—my favorite character—and she would play it so well.

We eventually approached her house after our forty minute rendezvous. It was pretty damn big and rather normal compared to the last few house calls I've made. We walked up the yellow lit stone path to the front door. I rolled my eyes as she unsteadily fumbled her keys from her purse.

"My parents are out of town." she said as she turned around and winked at me.

"No siblings?" I enquired.

"I'm an only child now. My little brother died three years ago." she said unlocking the front door.

"That's unfortunate, I'm sorry to hear that." I lied.

She waved away my apologies with an indifferent expression as she pushed the door open.

I looked down at the door mat before I moved inside of the house. It read _'Welcome to our Home'_ in calligraphic, cursive writing above a nest holding a family of doves. _Thank you_, I silently greeted before stepping through the door frame.

I was actually surprised at how quaint the front area was—everything covered in family heirlooms and floral decadence with the alluring scent of lavender and honey calming the room, which was lit up just enough for you to notice. The walls were of a soft, golden color with flooring stretched in rich mahogany wood. It was both inviting and ironic—the prowling predator following the coo of the stray dove to her cozy nest.

I turned my eyes to the display of family photos hung in assembly along the hallway. Their smiles reflected structure, obviously during happier times. I looked into the fathers mimicking gaze, whom was gleaming with pride towards his fortune of a beautiful wife and two well-behaved children. How would he ever know that everything would soon fall apart and shatter his world into impossibly small shards of time he would never get back.

I looked from one family member to the next, eventually coming to the smallest one in size—the unfortunate blonde-haired boy. He couldn't have been any older than seven—that made my stomach flip. The innocence of his jack-o'-lantern grin took me back to my own childhood—or at least what I could remember of it—and tried to think of what it is a seven year old could have possibly done to deserve the ultimate punishment of death. I wonder if he knew it was coming or if he even had the chance to defend himself.

I looked at the date_. _

'_2007'_.

It was taken three years ago.

"How old are you?" I asked without thinking.

"Seventeen," she replied, "Why?"

I shrugged and implied there was no reason behind my question, but there was. It meant at fourteen, a child had the desire, the same need as me, to decide when it was time for another person's life to vanquish. My face fell into a sour twist.

Her eyes followed mine to the perfect portrait, obviously noticing my sudden choice of a facial expression. She half smiled at it; I thought it was from a few fond memories she had of him until I read her mind.

_Little brat, _she mentally sneered.

"How did he die, if you don't mind me asking?" I politely asked.

"I don't mind anymore," she shook her head at me with a smile. "He fell down the stairs and broke his neck. Those to be exact." She pointed over to the staircase peeking from the edge of the hallway, almost like she was proud.

"That must've been hard for you." I commented.

_Not really_, she light-heartedly smiled to herself.

"It was for a little while," she exaggerated, "It just gets a little lonely here without him." She tilted her head at the picture of him and sighed, "I miss him."

I didn't need to read her mind to know she was lying. Even if she wasn't, there was still a big piece of the puzzle that I was somehow missing. She somehow managed to maneuver her way out of the conversation and led me into the kitchen.

"Want something to drink?" she asked, pouring herself a glass of water.

"I'm fine, but thank you." I grinned.

My head twirled with further curiosity as my eyes flickered to a single photo of the young boy propped up in a frame on the kitchen counter. She followed my gaze again and stared with me, wondering why I was suddenly so infatuated with him.

She turned back to me and motioned towards the table, "Have a seat."

"Thank you," I smirked and turned to the small chair beside me. She quickly walked over to the portrait while my back was turned and lightly planted the photo face-down on the counter when she thought I wasn't looking.

_Fascinating how you're dead and still manage to bug the shit out of me, _she growled at the picture.

Well that was lips curled into a twisted smile at the shed of light she had given me. Her fluent thoughts confirmed that she was finally sobering up. Now I just needed something just a little more solid to seal the deal.

"How are all of you handling it?" I asked.

This seemed to frustrate her.

"We're fine now," she said, rather annoyed that I even asked, "I personally don't think it's that big of a deal when somebody dies. Life goes on." She came over and sat down beside me, "Get over it."

"I think I sense a little resentment," I knowingly teased.

"There isn't any." She insisted, taking a sip from the glass and licking her lips, "It's just…my parents are all hung up over Nathan dying."

I could've gone without knowing his name.

"But _I'm_ still here, you know? It's like my mom and dad don't realize they still have a kid that's living, but they don't even care. I guess I'm not all that surprised though. They've always wanted a boy and were anxious as hell to try again after they fucked up the first time."

I attentively nodded with complete satisfaction. I no longer needed to attain her thoughts—her lips gladly laid them out for me.

"It's like it was a waste of time…" she trailed off.

I narrowed my eyes, "What was?"

Her eyes rolled over to me with her jaw gaped open.

"Nothing," she quickly said, standing up and disappearing into the hallway.

She knew she had already said too much and was trying to figure a way out of her predicament. That bothered me a little. It reminded me of how Bella had looked at me. Teasing in a way, but also tainted with a slight gleam of truth. I listened in on her thoughts and hoped she would finally reveal herself, but all I got back was shifting excuses and the perfect lie to tell me. This bitch wasn't letting up easily.

I heard an estranged fumbling noise in the bathroom followed by the sound of water running.

_Say no more, darling. I'll release you from your pain._

I quietly followed the sound until I reached the bathroom. She was bent over in the sink, splashing water against her face. Someone was feeling a little nervous…and guilty. I almost thought she was just getting overwhelmed by her grief, that well-known, empty void of emotion you try to make sense of daily when you lose somebody you love.

_God, how much longer can I do this? No, you're fine, Steph. You're fine. Stay calm…_

And then…

_What was the point? All this bullshit and he still gets what he wants. I would've been better off just killing _myself_._

Ask and you shall receive.

My face distorted with relentless, sadistic intentions. I may or may not have been smiling. I don't know, but I did feel pretty fucking good at that moment. That same longing, jubilant feeling of overwhelming power thickened my blood with rage and carnage. It was time.

She turned the faucet off and looked up into the mirror. I briefly caught my own reflection, and honestly, I couldn't chide the utter terror that masked her face. She thought of running, like they usually do, but instead stood in a frozen stance against the sink and helplessly glared at me through the mirror. I quickly snaked my arm around her chest and pulled her against my chest, tightly compressing her throat before she had the indication to scream.

"You know, I was giving you the benefit of the doubt," I laughed, "But you're really no different than me."

Her pleading eyes grew wider with an even greater fear.

"No, I take that back." I corrected myself, "I would never kill a child. I don't know why you did it, and I'm sure Nathan doesn't either, but you'll have plenty of time to explain that to him when you see him, won't you?"

She gasped and began throwing her fists in the air, kicking her legs beneath her, trying to slither away and run like hell. I felt a feeble scream wither beneath my stone hands and released my grip.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" I teased.

"I didn't mean it," she choked between deep gasps for air, "I swear I didn't mean to do it!"

"Wrong answer!" I growled, gripping her back in my strangle-hold and forcing her chin towards the mirror with my free hand, "Look at yourself."

She turned her head away and began to whimper.

"No, no, none of that now." I smiled, "You don't want to miss the show, do you?"

She clenched her eyes shut.

"Open your fucking eyes or I'll do it for you!" I spat, angrily.

She obeyed and stared into our reflection.

"That's better," I complimented.

"_Please_…" she pleaded, her helpless body quivering as tears began rolling down her flustered cheeks.

"I want you to feel the same way he did, I want you to feel everything," I told her, "from the moment he saw you coming, like you saw me—to the pain he felt when his neck snapped at the bottom of that fucking staircase."

Her heart began thumping at an impossible rate.

"Watch closely now," I whispered, slowly gliding my hand up from her neck to her chin, cupping it in the palm of my hand. The tears continued to trail down her face and soaked the funnel of my fingers. I gave her time to finalize her thoughts and find peace, but her mind became silent. I almost think she had somehow found closure long before I came. Maybe that's how most people are when they know they're about to die—they accept it long before they meet their date with death.

I slowly crossed her chest with my other arm to keep her shoulders back while getting a firm grip on her face with the other. It was the only revenge I could get for Nathan's assailant and I didn't want her to miss a thing. In a swift motion, I spun her head with enough force to almost completely corkscrew her neck around. Her body became limp within seconds.

I released her from my clutch, letting her freefall into a _plop _on the floor beneath me. I slumped on my knees and lazily rested my palms face up on my thighs and tilted my head and looked at her the same way she had looked at Nathan's picture in the living room. _Little brat_, I smirked. It was a quick, painless death for such a well-deserved kill, but I had to remain a little tasteful in my tactics. Her eyes were still open, so at least the over-dramatics weren't all in vain.

I pulled her onto my lap by her wrists and wrapped myself around her waist, planting a burning kiss on her still-warm neck and fed. The insatiable, bittersweet taste of blood always tasted better when I really worked for it—and oh, was it ever worth the labor. I always liked it when there was still a faint heartbeat. I loved the feeling of hot fluid streaming small doses into my mouth and swelling my cheeks, running down my throat and sweltering in the pit of my stomach. The best way I could describe it is it's like eating hot soup on a chilly day when you're sick in bed. Actually that's almost exactly what it's like.

Before I could even get my thirst even remotely quenched, my cell phone began to ring.

I hesitantly pulled my lips away from her still-warm neck and rolled my eyes. "_Esme_…" I huffed, pulling my cell phone from my pocket and observing the unfamiliar number on my caller ID. I winced, but thoughtlessly answered after a few rings.

"Hello?"

"Hi. It's Bella…" her soft voice echoed through the receiver, "You know, your cliff buddy?"

I looked down at the mangled body with a bit of surprise, "Oh, hi. What can I do you for?"

"Sorry, I know it's late." She apologized, "But do you have time to talk, or meet up… or something? You told me to call you if I needed anything…"

I groaned through my teeth. _Oh yeah, I did give my number away to a complete stranger, didn't I?_

"Yeah, um… sure, that's fine," I stood up and dragged the corpse from the bathroom and dropped it in the hallway, "Look though, can I call you back? I'm sort of tied up with something."

"Okay," she softly replied, "Do you want to meet me somewhere or—"

"—I'll pick you up in an hour or so." I intervened.

"Okay, um… I'll see you then?"

"Yeah," I lightly reassured her and hung up.

Why did I give her my number? I know I told her to call me if she needed anything, but it was supposed to be a cordial hand-off. You know, a way of saying, _'Listen, you don't need to kill yourself. I'm somebody who cares…and I care so much that I'll offer you my number so you'll find some reason for living.' _I guess I should've considered that she'd actually make use of it.

Throughout that long, yet brief conversation with Bella, blood somehow managed to puddle around her entire body and needed to clean it up before it stained._ Okay, enough distractions. I need to get to work. _

I stared down at her with my hands on my hips, lightly biting the inside of my cheek. _Now what do I do with you? _I looked around the house in search for my alibi and walked into the kitchen, catching a glimpse of a rather inviting knife set next to the sink. A clumsy intruder thinking nobody was home, got spooked at the sight of a young girl, slit her throat and left without taking anything? _Sigh… No, then I'd have to go into hiding for years… _I raked my hands through my hair and turned around to the staircase and perked a curious brow._ No, that'd be a little much. Her parents would never step foot on a staircase again._

Oh…her parents.

How did I let that one slip by me? Their only children killed; one at the hand of their first born, Stephanie, and hers graciously taken by yours truly. Though many people would say that an 'eye for an eye' was certainly in order, I'm sure her darling parents won't be too gracious toward my actions. I'll have to do this perfectly and without error.

After a light search throughout the house, I eventually found an old suit case buried in the crawl space and stuffed her inside of it exited through the back door. Of course I managed to clean up my mess. I was a guest, after all.

I made the fast travel to my house, threw the suit case in the trunk, and drove off without saying a word to anyone. My phone rang again. It was Bella.

"Hey, I'm on my way, okay?" I answered.

"Oh, good. I was thinking for a minute that you were going to blow me off," she laughed.

_Well I was considering it..._

"Definitely not," I said light-heartedly, "I'll be there in a few minutes."

She chuckled.

"What's so funny?" I asked, laughing back.

"Nothing, you just have a totally different tune from an hour ago. I seriously thought you were going to strangle me for even calling you."

_Not yet. You haven't given me any reason to._

"No, I was really just a little busy. But I'm free now and will be there in about five minutes."

"Okay, I'll be outside."

Yeah, let's tack on twenty minutes of waiting in the driveway. I hung up the phone and set it on my lap.

By my surprise, she was actually waiting outside. Girls usually weren't that punctual. She was dressed a lot more conservative since the last time I saw her; a casual pair of jeans and sweatshirt with a hood pulled over her head. It was as if I were meeting her for the first time.

"So where are we going?" she asked, taking her hood down and snapping in her seatbelt as we pulled off into the road.

I turned to her and smiled, "It's a surprise."

She nodded her head and sat back in her seat. We didn't talk from then on. I didn't really mind and I don't think she did either. We just sat there listening to some soft rock music and enjoyed each other's company in silence. It was actually pretty relaxing.

I eventually grew tired of driving, so I pulled off onto the side of the road and turned off the engine. She looked outside of the window, a little curious as to where we were. The expression on her face was sort of endearing. I couldn't help but smile.

"What, you don't recognize any of this?" I asked her.

She turned to me and shook her head, fumbling the strings from her hood in her hand. I think she was a little nervous.

"This was going to be your final resting place," I teased and stepped out of the car, "Come on dare devil."

She incoherently muttered something under her breath. I didn't catch it, but it made me laugh anyway. She was so easy to make fun of.

"You know, you have a pretty sick sense of humor," she joked.

I walked around the car and leaned against the hood, "I know. I actually get that a lot more than you think."

She looked over at the wooded preserve, "So are you going to tell me why were here?"

I smirked and folded my arms, "I picked this spot solely for the fact that I know most people can't get to it. And it really bothers me that you somehow managed to get to it anyway, so I need to see how that happened."

"And what if I don't comply." She bluffed, folding her arms across her chest.

"Then I'll poison your cereal." I threatened.

She smiled. "I'm lactose intolerant,"

I shrugged. "Then I'll poison your soy milk."

"Fair enough." She sighed, defeated.

I victoriously smiled and followed behind her as she walked along the forest until she reached a spot she was familiar with and began climbing. She was a little clumsy with her maneuvering, but casually picked up momentum and started travelling from one tree to the next. I was actually a little impressed. Of course it was in a much slower pace than how I'd usually travel, but it was still pretty damn good.

I moved along right behind her, watching as she slowly yet steadily crossed heavy branches and limbs until we cleared the forest. She lightly plopped on the ground and turned around in waiting for some sort of recognition. I jumped down right after her.

I smiled. "Okay, I'm impressed, but I'll have you know I'm going to have to strengthen my fortress. I don't need a bunch of randoms tainting my vacation spot."

She blinked walking over to the same place we had spent all evening, "Oh, so I'm a random now?"

"More or less."

She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled, then sat down with her legs crossed. I sat beside her.

The familiar flush of brisk air once again flushed against my cheeks. It felt nice. Soothing. I looked over at Bella and truly wish I could've said the same for her. She was rubbing her hands together and began rocking back and forth to stay warm.

I peeled my coat off and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Poor girl, I forgot you're not used to this weather. I'll make sure to bring you a winter coat next time I see you." I winked.

"A winter coat? It's still October." She said through chattering teeth.

"But it feels like December for you, doesn't it?" I smiled.

She looked at me with wide eyes and bobbed her head rapidly.

I smiled and nodded once at the coat, "Is it helping any?"

She grabbed at the neck of it and pulled it over herself. "A lot actually. Thanks."

It actually was. She stopped shivering.

We looked over at the ocean as the waves pulled in and out beneath the starry skies.

I took a deep breath. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Very." She whispered.

The air grew silent once more. I still didn't mind. There we sat, side by side, admiring the beauty of the sight before us. Her synchronized heartbeat and breathing pattern made my head a little dizzy. Not because it made me thirsty; I was definitely good on that. I think it made me a little…sleepy. No, that's not the right word. I don't even remember what sleep is like anymore. Drowsy, maybe? Yeah. That had to be it.

I cleared my throat and looked over to her. "So, what brings you to Washington?"

She sighed, rather annoyed, but did it in the most polite way she could.

"Sorry, I know you must get that a lot." I laughed.

"I just get tired of repeating the same thing over and over. Plus it's not like it's anybody's business. What if I came here just because? Do I have to _have_ a reason for wanting to leave Phoenix?"

I knew she wasn't necessarily frustrated with me, so I passed on unneeded confrontation.

I fell back against the soft grass and rested my hands behind my head. "Sounds like you've been a broken record for the past couple of weeks."

"Not really," she giggled, "I've made up some pretty wild excuses. It's actually funny how people will fall for just about anything."

I passed on the joking material and narrowed my eyes, curiously. "So what's the real reason?"

She slowly shook her head. "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to poison your cereal."

"I'm lactose intolerant."

She heartily laughed like she did the first time we met. I remember her saying how she hadn't laughed like that in a long time—and I made her do it twice in one week. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing. She didn't seem all that depressed, at least not when I was around her. Then again, like she said before, looks can be deceiving.

She drew out a long yawn.

"So when are you going to tell me?"

She turned her head and slowly blinked through her heavy lids. "Hm?"

I stared up at the sky. "Why you moved here, I mean."

"Oh," she softly said, yawning once more. "When you finally play a song for me."

I raised a brow. "On the piano?"

She nodded.

"That's it? That's all you want?"

She thought for a moment. "No, I won't make it that easy for you."

I chuckled, "You're going to break my back over this, aren't you."

She smiled and thought a little bit longer, staring down at her feet like she was hesitant to request it.

"Well, what's the catch?"

She pursed her lips and pointed at me. "Okay, it can't be a song you already know..."

I slowly nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"…but it can't be something you just pull out of nowhere, either."

I rolled over on my side and propped myself up on my elbow. "So, this is a personal request."

She nodded, biting her bottom lip and wincing like she felt it was too much to ask for.

"Damn, that'll take some time..." I playfully sighed, looking down.

She didn't say anything.

I looked up at her and narrowed my eyes, "But lucky for you, I have all the time in the world. Deal."

Her face lit up toward my agreement. "Deal?"

I nodded. "But you have to tell me everything. And it has to be true."

She smiled. "Deal."

We continued talking throughout the remainder of the night. The same way we did before. She told me a little about herself, leaving out big chunks of course, but so did I. And that was okay. We took it for what it was—two strangers who met at unusual circumstances that simply enjoyed each other's company.

The sun eventually began to peak and I practically had to beg her to let me take her home. She tried to be persistent on staying all morning too, but I really had things to take care of if you catch my drift. And it wouldn't be long before it begins to smell. No amount of potpourri can get _that_ stench out of your car. Plus I'm sure Carlisle and Esme are wondering where the hell I'm at. Yeah, definitely a good idea to get home. With my use of master manipulation, I finally convinced her that it was best that she went home and dropped her off.

"Maybe we can do this again?" she cautiously asked, trying not to seem so assuming.

I smiled. "Of course. You have my number, suicide girl."

She playfully mocked me and slammed the door, looking back once more before entering her house.

I didn't want to admit it right then and there, but I was actually looking forward to seeing her again. I liked her laugh, probably a lot more than she liked doing it. In fact, I thought about her laugh the entire ride home and even thought of ways I could make it happen more often in the future.

I don't know what it is I liked about her, but I did. She was different—refreshingly different—so much so that I didn't really have to make up too many stories just out of sheer annoyance. I liked telling her about myself. Well, from what I _could_ tell her. I don't even want to imagine what she'd think of me after she found out who I truly was.

My car travelled over a pothole and rattled a loud _thump_ from the trunk. _Oh yeah, speaking of._ I turned my wheel and quickly re-routed my destination with a dreary sigh. So much for making it home by morning, I really need to map out my evenings a little better.


	8. More Than just a Memory

I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's cute. :)

Jess & Megan

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**Jacob POV**

Yesterday, Embry called to invite Bella and me to a friendly game of rugby. I wasn't really looking forward to all of the guys pretending to 'tackle' her just to cop a feel, but she was overly enthusiastic about the game, so I felt obligated. It wasn't a jealousy thing; she and I just had gotten pretty close over the past week.

We've been hanging out almost every night since the diner. You know, when she practically verbally punched me in the face. We never did anything overly exciting, I'd pick her up just as the sun went down and we'd sit in my garage for a few hours until she wanted to go home. I didn't care. It was better than sitting at Quil's house watching him playing some shitty video game while Embry went on about some sort of conversation he _almost _had with Jessica that day.

At first I thought she was just hanging out with me out of pity because she felt guilty for the way she snapped that night, but she gradually started opening up to me a little more and more each time she came over; always climbing up on her perch of stacked tires and going on and on about her old life in Phoenix while I attentively listened, giving her a nod here and there to show I was paying attention.

I took advantage of the early afternoon to do a little yard work for my dad. He recently began leaving a list of things for me to do during the day—claiming _'I never do anything around the house'_—so I'd get away by doing the bare minimum. I think I did pretty well today though. I at least managed to take out the trash and mow the lawn. He'll be happy about that. He better be. I hate mowing the lawn.

I quickly changed into a pair of comfortable jeans and grabbed my helmet before I left. It wasn't for me, it was for Bella. I didn't really care so much for my safety, but I didn't want _that _resting on my conscience too if something were to happen.

She must have heard my bike coming down the road because she was already waiting for me at the end of the sidewalk as soon as I rounded the corner. Her lips folded to a welcoming smile as she slipped on a pair of leather gloves beneath the sleeves of a rather form fitting, matching leather jacket.

That took me by surprise. She had been complaining about how cold it was getting the last couple of nights, yet as much as I chastised her and said she'd be freezing her ass off on the back of the bike, she always managed to step outside of her house in a thin sweatshirt. I always rolled my eyes when she told me she'd 'get over it'.

I stopped just at the end of the driveway and planted my feet down to steady myself and pulled off my sunglasses to get a better look at her. She looked good. Damn good.

I gave her an approving nod. "Nice jacket. Finally decided to take my advice, huh?"

She briefly looked down and smirked. "I figured you were getting a little tired of hearing me bitch about being cold all the time."

I playfully bowed my head. "Well thank you for being considerate." I extended the helmet out to her. "Shall we?"

She outwardly groaned and flopped out her hand, looking away. "This is getting old, really fast."

I muffled a laugh through my pursed lips and dropped it in her grasp.

She looked at the sleek black helmet hesitantly before stuffing her head inside of it. "I don't get it, why do I have to wear a helmet and you don't?" she spat.

"Because I live fast, baby," I egotistically joked, "Besides, I'm just looking out for your safety. If we got into an accident, I'd be all kinds of fucked up and you'd walk away with a few scratches knowing I was the one who risked it all to make sure you were okay. You should be thanking me."

She pulled my shoulders against her chest and pressed her lips against my ear. "Shut up and drive, daredevil."

I shivered. "Yes ma'am."

She wrapped her arms around my waist as we pulled away. Good thing she was behind me because I had a huge stupid grin wiped across my face.

After a short ride, we arrived at the old High School football field. It brought back a lot of fond memories of when the three of us played on the Varsity team. Well, two of us really. Quil got kicked off before we even hit the peak of the season—for reasons unknown to even Embry and I. Who knows with him…

I looked onto the field and noticed the overwhelming ratio of guys to girls on the field, which didn't help my paranoia towards Bella playing. Embry popped up around the gate just as we pulled up next to his car.

"Hey, look who it is! You, my friend, are going down. I made you captain of the other team just so I can beat your ass and not feel as guilty." He teased.

"Yeah, good luck with that, my team beat yours by twenty last time." I retaliated.

Just as I finished my sentence, the glory hole of all that is whorish—so named Jessica Stanley—ran up behind Embry and jumped on his back. _Just what in the fuck was she doing here? She didn't even know what Rugby was, much less how to spell it. _

He grunted, but smiled. "Hey you!"

She was wearing shorts that were way too indecent to be playing any sort of sport in. She giggled into Embry's ear and slid down his back. I totally knew what she was trying to do. And it was a pathetic attempt…even for _Jessica Stanley_. I nearly shuddered when I felt her eyes staring at me.

"Hey, Jake, are you ready to get slaughtered?" she teased.

Embry chimed in, proudly. "She's on my team."

"Imagine that." I muttered under my breath.

Jessica's smile slightly faded when she caught my snarky comment and turned her attention to Bella. She leaned back and looked her up and down like an art critic would to a piece they were indifferent to. "Bella Swan…" she stated, rather than asked. "You just moved here, didn't you? From Arizona?"

I didn't like the tone she was using and I could tell Bella didn't either.

"That's the rumor." Bella scoffed.

Embry and I looked at each other, worriedly.

"Shame. All this hype about you…" she smirked, shaking her head, "I half expected you to at least live up to your name." Jessica sneered.

Bella chuckled. "Funny, I've heard about you too—but I don't see it—none of it, in fact."

"See what?" Jessica asked.

"I half expected you to be covered in all the bodily fluids the entire male population of Forks had to offer. Now I'm disappointed." She looked at me and sighed theatrically. "Take me home, Jacob. There's nothing to see here."

I wanted to laugh...so bad. But I knew that'd be bad news if I supported Bella's insult to the fullest extent. Not because of Jessica. Fuck Jessica. I was avoiding Embry hammering me with questions and accusations later, so I pretended like I didn't want this fight to happen, even though _really_, really I did.

Jessica bumped up against Bella's chest. "You think just because your new boyfriend's here, I won't beat your ass in front of him?" She nodded in my direction when she said that.

Bella pressed back and stood just a bold few inches away from Jessica's face. "You're a jealous little bitch, aren't you? Just how does it feel knowing he aches for me now? I bet its _killing _you."

I could see Embry tilting his head back and mouthing _'what?'_, and turned to me for information. I quietly responded to him with an eye roll and shook my head to simply summarize that 'bitches are crazy'.

I raked my hands through my hair and cleared my throat, awkwardly. "Alright, that's enough. Take it out on the field." I could feel Embry's eyes curiously beaming at me.

"Yeah, come on guys. Let's drop it." He agreed, tugging at Jessica's arm. "Come on Jess."

Jessica shook free from Embry's pull and backed away. Noticing that Bella wasn't going to let it go that easily she looked at me.

"Good luck Jake...you too Bella." She instigated flashing an evil grin.

I could tell Bella was really biting her tongue, especially from that last comment. As we trailed behind in a slow walk, I searched for some words of comfort to offer her. You know, a little pat on the back to show that she had won the battle. But the look on her face of utter hatred for this girl boldly guided me into knowing that that was probably not the best idea, so I kept my mouth shut.

As we approached the field there were faces I did and did not recognize. Erik and Angela were there which was surprising because they never come to this sort of thing. Quil's cousins Seth and Leah were some of the faces I recognized along with James and Victoria. There were a lot of other random guys I didn't really know but that didn't really matter because they all ended up on Embry's team.  
_  
_The game started off pretty badly, and to make matters worse, Jessica started off with me as her target…which made me _very_ uncomfortable. I tried to shimmy from side to side, hoping she'd get the damn hint, but then she began smiling and staring at my feet as they shifted like it was a game or something. I backed up and threw the ball across the field to Quil, but before I could even react, Jessica pulled me down by the collar of my shirt and landed on top of me.

The whole summer embarrassingly flashed in front of my eyes and I struggled back onto my feet. I pushed her off me quickly, I don't know why but I just felt like everyone could see our secret.

Jessica flirtingly pushed her hair behind her ear and grinned. "Sorry."

She knew what the hell she was doing. I glanced over at Bella, whom was confidently smiling at me like she was well aware of what was going on.

Our team was winning by a landslide–which was awesome. Embry was totally getting pissed and began to get more aggressive in his tactics. I didn't mind the competition, or lack thereof, I should say. I really think he was trying to showboat for Jessica, but it was still cute how he'd chase me around the field like a lost puppy while I ran circles around his ass, scoring one point after the next. Traditionally, it'd be courteous for the wingman to lose the game to make the other guy look good in front of his girl, but screw it. I had my own girl to impress.

In the meantime, Jessica had her own little tactics going on. She was doing it when she thought I wasn't paying attention, but I definitely saw how ruthless she was becoming; purposely going out of her way to tackle Bella to the ground, even if she wasn't even in her line of fire. I knew that Bella can hold her own, but damn it was starting to look painful. After a few more unnecessary tackles, I wasn't so focused on the game anymore—_what the hell is she holding back for?_, I wondered.

The game eventually ended. Our team won of course, I wasn't too surprised by that. I was just happy that Bella didn't have to take the brutality anymore. As I started walking across the field to meet her in the middle, I looked over to Embry slumping down on his knees.

"Hey Embry!" I hollered.

He exhaled a defeated sigh and turned to me.

I raised my fists in the air. "Victory is mine!"

He narrowed his eyes and flailed his middle finger in the air. "Fuck you."

I laughed and turned back to Bella, whose face grew more and more anxious with every step I took.

I grinned. "Hey."

She confidently stepped up to me and greeted me with the cutest smile.

I laughed. "Are you okay?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded.

I shook my head. "Okay then, are you hungry? I figured we could maybe—"

She leaped up on the tips of her toes and gently pulled me into her. I was so shocked and put off by the kiss that I didn't have time to react—to be honest, I didn't really want to.

There was so much sexual tension building up in that kiss that I knew I couldn't be the only one to feel it. As soon as we pulled away, my eyes fluttered open to see hers still closed momentarily. She licked her bottom lip, now curled up into the sexiest smile, and exhaled slowly.

"Mission accomplished." She laughed, looking over my shoulder.

"Hmm?" I turned around and followed her gaze to the sight of one pissed off chick standing with her arms crossed tightly against her chest—and damn did that make me feel good.

Bella lightly dug her elbow into my gut. "Don't be so obvious Jake. She needs to think we're legit."

I laughed. "Oh? Well then, let's show her just how legit we can be."

Her face quirked into a dumbfounded look as I scooped her up in my arms by the back of her thighs and planted another affection kiss on her; she pressed herself up against me and wrapped her legs around my waist, which led me into getting a little bolder by sliding my tongue along her teeth from the arising pressure. For a moment there I was a little self conscious toward her delay in kissing me back, but she gradually took to the idea and one-upped me by scooping my hair up in her hands and moaning inside of my mouth. Even if she was still just pretending, she was doing a good fucking job at it.

I quickly became lost within reason and thoughtlessly slid one hand up from her thigh and under her shirt. My hand must've been cold or something because she quickly pulled away.

"Jake!" she giggled, "Can't take a girl to dinner first?"

"Well, I made the offer before I was so _rudely_ _interrupted_." I teased, licking the sweet aftermath from the corners of my mouth. "How did we do?"

She pressed her forehead against mine. "Notice the silence? I bet you anything she's fuming right about now."

I carefully set Bella down on her feet and turned around, completely unable of fighting off the anxious smile on my face—which quickly faded as soon as I noticed that the field was almost completely deserted, apart from one person.

"_Whoa_ _dude_," Quil said with his jaw agape.

I blinked. "How long have you been standing there? Where is everyone?"

He egged on. "Don't worry about them man—hell don't worry about _me_. Keep going! I'm storing this shit in the spank bank."

I rolled my eyes over at Bella, whom buried her face in her hands with embarrassment.

"I'm not even going to touch on how creepy you just sounded, buddy." I told him.

After that rollercoaster of scaling emotions, we needed a relaxing place to wind down—and what better place than at the beach, right?

I drove along the mound of sand, despite how much damage it would probably cause my engine and killed it as soon as we reached the shoreline.

"After you, Tinker Bella," I winked.

She rolled her eyes with a smile.

"That was a little cheesy, but thank you…_Dracula_!" she thanked theatrically.

I steadied the bike while she climbed off to keep it from wobbling before climbing off myself.

We found a spot nearly twenty feet away from where I parked and sat down, side by side.

"You were pretty impressive out there today. Nobody would ever guess it considering the amount of nicotine you pack in your lungs." I joked.

A little shock of excitement crossed her face as she dug her hand in her pocket and pulled out a crinkled pack of Marlboro Reds—which I have learned to be her favorite brand of cigarettes. That's the only kind I've seen her with.

"Speaking of." I chuckled, sarcastically.

She pulled a crooked stick from the crushed pack and stuck it in her mouth, lighting it up right after and pausing momentarily through take a much anticipated drag.

"My special little friend—I thought you were done for back there." She moaned through a puff of smoke to the burning cigarette.

I chuckled through a smile and began plucking little piles of sand from the ground.

She studied my movement, almost as if she were admiring me; her head tilted with parted lips curling into a folding smile.

I winced. "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer."

She gave me half a smile. "Good idea!"

_I should've kept my damn mouth shut, I hate taking pictures_, I told myself. She zipped open her purse and began digging through the bottomless pit of materialistic possessions.

_Please say__ you left it at home. Please say you left it at home._

To my shit for luck, she pulled out an _extremely_ old contraption that I can only assume takes pictures.

"Smile." She encouraged, snapping a single photo.

The irritably bright flash dazzled my sight…and now I was seeing spots? Maybe stars too, I couldn't really tell. The white film paper shot out of the bottom of the camera.

"Who still has Polaroid's?" I teased, pulling the white paper out.

"I do!" she snapped, snatching it from my hand and waited for it to show up, and then slumping over in disappointment. "Damn it, your eyes look like they were trying to blink or something. Let's take another one."

"No! That's good enough!" I laughed in protest.

A rush of excitement swelled through her face as she crawled over and sat beside me.

"Oh! That's perfect! Stay there just like that!" she said with excitement.

She pressed up against my shoulder and leaned in toward my face with the extended lens facing us.

"Keep your eyes open this time." She nudged.

So I did; even though the annoying, brilliant light would damage my retinas even worse the second time around. Just as said annoying flash sent my vision into haywire, Bella's damp hair laced across my cheek. It was then that I realized high tide had gradually swarmed around us.

She pulled the photo from the slot and lightly shook it to expose the results. I didn't care about it, but I did enjoy how happy she was as her face slowly lit up when as the image came into view.

"It's perfect." She whispered. "Look."

She held out the picture for me to see. Even though I dreaded the outcome, I looked over and began smiling. It wasn't Bella's hair that had pressed up against me. In perfect synch with that quick flash, Bella snuck in and planted a light kiss on the side of my cheek…and there I was, with the same goofy grin that Bella always caused whenever she made me blush.


	9. Head Games

**Okay, talk about one HELL of a weekend. Are any of you STILL hungover from your Halloween party?**

Man... I should burn the photos. Too bad this world has gone all digital on me. _

**Anyway, since Megan and I are feeling the post-Halloween spirit, we thought it'd be cool to do something a little different and post a chapter from Bella's perspective so you can get a better visual of who she is. We'll eventually be seeing more of her point of view...at least once when she's with Edward. So be excited damnit.**

**Thanks for reading. :)**

* * *

**Bella POV**

_Where the hell did it go? _I stripped the sheets off my bed for a second time and irritably stomped my foot when I realized that, again, it wasn't there_. I swear to Christ, I lose everything._ I threw my head back and groaned.

Jake and I had just gotten back from the beach, which I must say was way more fun than I predicted when we veered off onto the sandy dunes.

_Okay, trace your steps._ I paused at the doorway to visualize every nook and cranny and the probability of where it'd be hiding. _You came through the room…set your purse down on the bed…_ I walked over to the bed and looked again. _Not there…okay…the picture was in your left hand and you set it down…fuck! _Of _course_ it wouldn't be that easy.

Leave it to me to lose a picture I had _just _taken _two_ hours ago.

I groaned again when I looked around the room and realized the clustering shit storm I'd just created for myself; it was—for lack of a better word—fucking annihilated.

Clothes, shoes, blankets, dishes, and other miscellaneous junk was scattered everywhere.

All for the sake of a single.

Fucking.

Picture.

"Bella!" my dad hollered downstairs.

As if I needed anything else to spike my blood pressure.

I rolled my eyes, and then my heart flopped when they suddenly stopped at a certain piece of paper inched out from underbelly of my mattress; a certain _white_ piece of paper with a pair recognizable faces on it.

I wish I could've shown you how ridiculous the look of satisfaction that smeared across my face probably was when I hurriedly snatched it to confirm my excitement.

_Jake and I look nice, I think. _I nodded, reassuringly. _My hair's all over the place, but he still looks good. _I don't think he noticed, but whenever I made Jake giddy, he'd get this huge, goofy smile on his face and I simply _had_ to capture it on camera—and to my avail, it worked! His cheeks were even a little rosy, but that may have been just a color blemish from the sun.

"_Bella_, come down here a minute!" he called again, a little more demanding this time.

I waved my

hand to deflect the sound, boldly using the same tone. "Hang on!"

I already knew what it was about. My dad was a God damned Nazi when it came to the condition of his house and I made the poor mistake of not doing the dishes before he got home.

I pulled my little green box of photos out from under my bed and tucked the newest addition in the bottom of the stack. I secretly kept this box filled with all my special little memories, something that I've sort of always just had ever since I was a little girl. I still remember my grandma giving it to me on my ninth birthday; of course it had random crap inside of it at first.

"Bella…_now_!"

The harsh tone of his voice ripped through my eardrums and I shot up immediately.

I clenched my chest to calm the accelerated pounding of my heart. "Okay, I'm coming. Don't have a heart attack."

_I can't really speak for myself, though._

I met him in the kitchen and suppressed a sigh as soon as I noticed him standing over the sink with his arms crossed. I seriously think he enjoyed the discipline part of parenting a little too much.

He quirked a brow when he decided I wasn't going to let up and confess. "Okay, what happened? Did you forget about the note I left you? Or the text?"

I looked over to the sink which was piled to the faucet with food-stained plates and glasses.

Ask me how that many dishes could actually accumulate between two people, I have no idea.

Normally it'd be questionable why he'd even care to discuss the situation at nearly three thirty in the morning, but his job required long, weird hours and we were both complete night owls. It must run through the family.

I shrugged, indifferently. "Yeah, it just slipped my mind somehow. Sorry."

"Bella, I make rules as a parent to teach you things. To guide you through life so you adapt them to your own in positive way…"

…_Here we go…_

"I'm not trying to be the bad guy, but you and I are going to have to work together on this. I know you're upset about your mom being gone and all, but I'm doing the best I can with what I have."

_And I deserve this speech on life because of some dishes?_

Long story short I did the fucking dishes and I'll never _not _do them again if it'll save me from another recital of my dad's 'positive reinforcement'.

Hell, I even cleaned the rest of the house while he sat on the couch drinking beer and watching NFL highlights recorded on the DVR.

Believe me, it wasn't to make him happy. Everything _was _really getting pretty disastrous since I hadn't been home all that much to clean it. Besides, I wasn't all that tired anyway and thought best to utilize my energy opposed to lying in bed waiting for sleep to come.

Finally, I decided to take on the hording clutter that'd been manifesting for days—_my_ room. I specifically saved it for last because I'm a little more meticulous on how I liked it to look: dirty clothes in the hamper, shelves dusted, books put away, the whole shebang. I even put new linens on my bed. Go me.

Day began to break by then, and finally I was beginning to yawn, so I set the vacuum against the wall and retired in my sheets—which smelled of luxuriant cashmere might I add—my absolute favorite scent for fabric softener.

I didn't realize how tired I actually was until my eyes fluttered open to the persistence of the beaming sun. I felt groggy, sticky, and hot; and despite how cold the temperature is outdoors, my room always seemed to be the hottest one in the house.

My eyes cowered back into the darkness of my eyelids, blinking away the brilliant burn until they finally adjusted and finally peaked out once more without retracting.

Fortunately it was still light out. In Phoenix I would've probably slept through the entire day until somebody called me to hang out, but having a job for the first time in ages quickly cured that bad habit. I'm happy about it though because I felt even worse about myself knowing I've wasted an entire day.

"_Call from…Jacob…Black." _

Beep. Beep. Beep.

_Ugh, stupid phone._ I smashed my pillow against my ear to diffuse the annoying ringer. "Okay, that needs to go." I hastily grabbed the phone and huffed. "Hello?"

"Wow, did I catch you at a bad time?"

The voice at the other end of the phone was a lot more soothing than the one that initially pissed me off in the first place.

"No you didn't." I sighed, sympathetically changing my tone immediately. "I just got this new phone and it has the most annoying ringer and I have no idea how to fix it."

"Huh."

"Well, what's the word? Anything going on tonight?"

I could sense this phone call was going to be more than just a 'what time should I pick you up?' sort of deal. That call wasn't due for another few hours—Seven PM, right on the dot.

It was sometimes pretty endearing how punctual he was.

"Well, there aren't any parties happening, so Embry came up with the idea of just having some small shindig at his place tonight. You down?"

Of course I was down—I was practically dressed by the time I got off the phone with him and spent the next hour and a half finding something to do to lapse the time in between.

Halloween wasn't my favorite holiday of the year, but it wasn't as bad as some of the others. I didn't particularly _hate_ holidays; they were just a little harder to deal with nowadays.

Like tonight for instance, my mom and I would be snuggled up on the couch watching whatever Halloween special was on that night; waiting for the doorbell to ring with excited trick or treaters. Call it sort of cruel, but her and I made a little joke by giving the kid with the worst costume the least amount of candy while the best dressed one received an entire handful.

It's those traditions with her I miss most and I hate thinking that last year I had no idea it would be our last one together.

I would have enjoyed it more I guess.

However, I'm glad I had Jacob to distract me from those kinds of thoughts tonight. I plopped down onto the wooden step outside after the screen door unintentionally slammed shut behind me.

Before I left the house for the evening, I grabbed the leather jacket and quickly slipped it on as I knew the nights were only getting colder. I knew it was a good call taking the offer to wear it.

There's no smell compared to that of new leather, but unfortunately this one didn't have it. In fact, I hadn't seen one quite like this before. Its older style gave it vintage appeal, but looked as if it were bought yesterday. Regardless as much as I liked it, I knew I'd have to give it back to Edward. I fastened the buttons from the base to my neck and ran my hands along the cool black texture. _I wonder what he's doing tonight, _I thought.

I tapped my fingers on the boards underneath me in anticipation for Jakes arrival. I hope he pulls up in his motorcycle. It gave me a good excuse to squeeze him; my own little special way of silently saying 'thank you for being my friend'.

And I did exactly that when he arrived in the same way I was hoping him to be.

As we walked up the stairway towards Embry's apartment, I instantly grabbed Jake's hand. It was simply out of instinct more than anything just a comfort thing. I think he knew that.

I was a little relieved on the ride over when he told me Jessica wouldn't be here tonight. Thank God.

Apparently her parents found out about the little Halloween party she had while they were out of town, but I'm sure the spoiled bitch didn't get much of a punishment; not that I could really talk. I didn't get much discipline growing up with my mom. I know if it were me I would've just flashed the whole 'I'm over eighteen' card and then my dad would have wrapped it up with some bullshit speech on respect.

Jake squeezed my hand as he knocked. Some random object fell to the floor as Embry stumbled to the door.

"Who is it?" He carefully whispered.

"Who do you think?" Jake replied in sarcasm.

I heard the chain unlock from the top of the door and Embry cautiously cracked it open to peak through.

Jake rolled his eyes. "It's us. Just open the door."

He pulled me in behind him and exchanged a typical guy handshake with Embry.

I nodded my head and sat next to Jake. I didn't really recognize anyone except for Quil and a girl that looked vaguely familiar from the rugby game. The other two guys were a total mystery to me.

"So, do you have it?" Quil asked Jake impatiently.

"Yeah, hold your horses you freakin' pot head." Jake chastised while pulling a bag of weed out of his pocket.

I looked at him, absolutely puzzled. The kid who spent most of his time criticizing me for my smoking habit just pulled a half-ounce of weed from his jacket.

Everyone quickly sat around the shabby coffee table in Embry's living room patiently waiting for Quil to roll the first blunt of the night. Damn—all the eager faces around you would have you thinking these kids were deprived of the stuff.

I sensed Jake was avoiding eye contact with me because he didn't really know how I would react to his 'shocking' secret. It's not that I cared or anything; I just would've never guessed it—much less assume.

Embry disappeared and reappeared from the kitchen with a case of beer in hand. Again, the group of underage drinkers became overly excited over it which made me thoroughly question if we all were really around the same age. He graciously passed a can to each guest—me being the last one as he slid it from across the table that reminded me of some old western flick.

Suddenly I wanted to watch one of those instead, but I didn't even think to make the suggestion.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, I thought we could watch a classic tonight." Embry said waving what looked to be some horror movie and nodded proudly. "Astrozombiez."

I never heard of it, which made me wonder just how much of a classic it truly was.

"Here." The girl beside me spoke up with a nudge, blunt in hand.

I hadn't smoked in a long time, but the idea still sounded pretty damn good to me.

I inhaled and suppressed the choking sensation to take full advantage of the effect before I finally released the thick smoke from my lungs; the bitter smell of weed filled my nose, sending my lungs into a rupturing, repetitious cough.

I took another long drag before handing it over to Jake without looking at him. At first I didn't know whether he was planning on smoking or not; I could feel his eyes cautiously waiting for my reaction as he placed the joint to his lips, then finally took a drag and passed it off to Quil.

The movie started playing and I melted into the couch leaning on Jacob and thoughtlessly rested my head on his chest, becoming closely entranced by the steady sound of his breathing pattern.

Now I don't know if I was paranoid or amazed, but I looked down at my hand and became stimulated by the fact that it was moving alarmingly slow—so slow in fact that it was leaving a trail behind it. That's where I began to panic. _Did the entire world suddenly slow down?_

As the movie went on I gradually felt the haze lavish a chilling tingle to the tips of my fingers; my mind becoming rather light-headed almost like my soul was lifting from my body. I know I've only been high a few times, but something definitely wasn't right.

Reality became distant and conversations seemed far away.

I shot up quickly, but told myself it was a lot more casual than what I expressed. "Can I use your bathroom?"

Embry wearily examined me and pointed to the hallway.

_Okay, Bella, just breathe. They're all going to know you're too high_. I scolded myself. _If you don't stop, they won't want to hang out with you anymore because you're a tweak. Just hurry up and get to the bathroom before they think anything of it._

Bad idea—as soon as I stood up, a rush of blood escaped my brain which briefly threw me off balance. Now I was feeling sick. I looked around me and suddenly everyone was staring, so I bolted to the bathroom.

_How does everyone know? I'm fine right? Yeah, everything is great. _

I closed the door behind me and sat on the edge of the toilet seat, rocking back and forth to soothe away the persistent nausea. That didn't work, so I buried my face in my hands and I tried to reassure myself that this was a temporary feeling and it would end soon. That wasn't working either.

I sprang up and turned on the water and waited for it to turn warm. I filled my hands and splashed the water against my face._ Breathe Bella, breathe. Everything is fine, this is almost over. _I needed a distraction and this movie wasn't going to cut it.

Just then I heard a light tap on the door.

"Bella, are you alright?" Jakes whispered from the other side.

"I think so." I whispered back.

Jake slowly opened the door and quietly shut it behind him. I looked up at him through the mirror and noticed my eyes were blood shot and glassy; more so than from the effects marijuana caused. I think I was starting to cry.

"What's the matter, Bella?" he asked concerned, rubbing my back in a nurturing way.

He backed up to look at me and noticed, too, that I was getting pathetically emotional.

He nodded, silently assuming what I must've been upset about, and pulled me toward his chest; rocking me in his arms.

"I'm sorry; I don't usually get like this. I feel so stupid." I confessed.

"You're okay. Everything is going to be fine."

"No, Jake. You don't understand what I've been dealing with." I sobbed.

I freed myself of his hold and sat against the wall while he sat across from with his back to the sink and loosely hugged his knees.

My heart was telling me to shut the fuck up or I'd surely end up at the ass end of embarrassment, clearly knowing I'd regret every single word in the morning, but my mind continued believing it was a good idea to unleash all of my personal feelings onto somebody who just came to see if I were okay. Little did he know he was officially going to be my pro bono therapist for the next thirty minutes.

I rubbed my eyes at what seemed to be the actual speed of a sloth and licked my lips; now the cottonmouth stage was kicking in. That generally meant the paranoid part of my high was going to deflate and somewhere in that moment I also stopped crying—thank God.

I peeked back at him through hooded eyes and exhaled deeply—_wait, was I supposed to say something? Why is he looking at me like that?_

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked out loud.

He laughed. "Oh, I thought you were going to tell me a story or something."

_I did?_

I blinked. "When?"

"You were just about to tell me something I wouldn't understand." He said with a sarcastic smile.

I suddenly remembered what I was going to say, but had to react with what logic that still lingered in my head.

"Do you ever miss your mom?" I apprehensively, yet casually asked.

I braced for some sort of negative reaction. I should've bit my tongue when I questioned that and felt I couldn't blame him if he got up and spat in my face—not that I actually predicted he'd do that or anything.

Instead he slowly sat up to prepare his statement and cleared his throat.

"Everyday." He summarized, nodding.

"Does the hurt ever go away?" I asked.

He shook his head.

My face grew sour. "Does it ever get…_easier_?"

"It's hard to say."

I questionably quirked my neck for him to explain.

"Well, she died in a car accident…and the anger for the man who took her life has gotten worse…but it hurts a little less knowing that she's free now."

I noticed a faint smile at the corner of his mouth. So obviously this wasn't an accident she caused then unless he was just feeling bitter about it.

"It's a very humbling experience when somebody dies I think. People die and you cry because they're no longer there with you, yet you fail to realize that the most amazing thing is probably waiting for them—a much more intricate, detailed picture—and that selfish cry eventually stops. So no, it doesn't easier…you just sort of deal with it."

My heart stung with his words.

"Were you in the car?"

He looked at me and nodded.

"I was pinned in the car by my seat belt and the door was jammed against my legs. I remember calling for her…" he stopped, choking on his words.

"…and her eyes were open, but I knew she wasn't there. They pulled me out of the car without even a _fucking_ glance at her."

He spoke with such an overwhelming emotion as the gloss in his eyes became more prominent.

I wanted to say something, but thought best to just sit and listen.

His breathing hitched into heaving breaths as he hollowed his voice to an anger bellow.

"So there I sat, in the back of that ambulance…helpless…while my mom _burned_." He looked to me, phlegmatically. "And they had the balls to ask me if I felt any pain."

I struggled to say something; to offer some words of comfort, but as each brief moment of silence thickened the air; my head grew dizzy and distant. It was almost like it was nature's way of telling me, 'No, that's not good thing to say at this time. You're high and your ideas suck.'

"I'm sorry." He giggled; replacing the serious mood of the room into something more musical. "I come in here to check on you and wound up stealing the spotlight."

I gave a sympathetic smile. "I bet the other driver isn't doing much better."

The crooked smile on his face quickly vanished and his face grew stern with hate.

"Fuck him." He spat, coldly. "He was so drunk he probably doesn't even remember a thing."

My insides sank to the floor.

"How drunk was he?" I asked, suddenly overly interested.

"More than four times the legal limit." He scorned, "He was completely fucking wasted."

At that moment, our heads snapped over to the splintering clap of thunder erupting from outside; a flash of light followed by from the window.

I didn't know what to say at that point, but luckily he asked to stop the conversation there. I'm glad the bastard got what he deserved, being in jail in all, but purposely refrained from revealing _my_ story to him. All I needed was my best friend—my only_ real_ friend—to hold a grudge towards me because of my mom's fatal mistake.

I distractedly kept my eyes on the swelling sound of raindrops flourishing from a gradual mist to a heavy downpour._ I'm sure that will make for an interesting drive home, _I inwardly sneered.

And it sure as hell was—the chilly wind whipped icy drops of water against my cheeks and hands, which tempted me into kicking my own ass for forgetting my gloves. I tried to deflect the cold and pressed my face against the back of Jake's jacket. No bueno. Now that the wind was gone, the burning sensation blistered my cheeks and I was debating which side of the fence I wanted to be on, so I kept my eyes shut until we finally came to my house.

I turned to him after hopping off the bike.

"We certainly have bad luck together when we're at parties, huh?" I joked.

He nodded. "Yeah, well if we're not fighting, we're crying—gotta be the most melodramatic friendship anyone has ever seen." His eyes flickered from me to the door. "So you really have to leave now? We were just starting to really bond."

"I think we've had a breakthrough today." I joked with a smile.

He looked down and rocked on his bike, "Let me ask you something really quick. Why did you go so far as to kissing me yesterday? I mean, I know it was because you were trying to make Jessica jealous—but I'm still curious. Was it really that obvious that we dated?"

I laughed and nodded rapidly. "As if it were stamped on your foreheads, but that's not why I did it—"

He looked up at me, inquisitively.

"—I did it because, I knew if I didn't, you might've considered taking her back." I admitted. "I know how girls work, and I'm a girl—a jealous one—and I'll be damned if trash like her is going to take away my only friend in this town."

"What makes you think I'd take her back?" he scoffed, rather offended.

I rolled my eyes, assumingly. "Oh please. You're a man, first of all. Second of all, I knew it was destined to happen the moment she oh so desperately toppled on you. I know how the game works, Jake."

He smiled the same goofy smile that I loved. Even as much as he tried to fight it off, he couldn't, and it was because of me.

"Well, I guess you should probably get inside." He concluded with a somber tone.

I didn't want to end the night like that. It wasn't a bad night, I just forgot to give him my secret 'thanks for being my friend' hug that I vowed to always give him.

I think this night certainly proved I needed to show him a little more appreciation than what I'd been—and a hell of a lot more often at that. So I pulled him in for a more personal embrace; clenching him around me to show that I listened—and yes—that I truly, genuinely fucking cared.

I guess I was holding him a little longer than necessary, but I really wanted the effect of it to sink in.

It may have mostly been to see that silly grin one last time to perfectly end the night…which worked by the way—_so cute_.

"Well then, I'll miss you too!" He laughed.

"Sorry." I blushed. "Have a good night, Jake. And thanks."

Just as I turned around for my house, a pair of irritably bright headlights pulled into the driveway, blinding the both of us with its brilliancy.

"Who the_ hell_ is that?" Jake scoffed shielding his eyes.

The car looked vaguely familiar. _Who do I know that drives a black Volvo? _Wait a minute_…Edward?_

_Why would he be here? He never comes over without calling first. _He was far too punctual for that. I've learned that about him.

I waited for my suspicions to be confirmed. Sure enough, Edward Cullen stepped out of the car.

I mean I didn't mean for them to _not _know about each other, it just sort of slipped my mind.

I frantically looked over at Jake in anticipation for his reaction. His face was crossed with anger and confusion; eyes glaring at Edward as he came toward us.

"You look surprised." He said approaching with a smirk. "Still plan on hanging out with me tonight or what?"

"Yeah, umm…did you call me or…?" I stuttered. "I mean, you usually call first…_don't you_?"

"I thought I'd surprise you this time since you always scold me for being too meticulous." He winked, then nodding at Jake. "On time as usual, I see. Punctuality is a good trait to have, my friend."

Jake narrowly shifted his eyes from me to Edward, pursing his lips to refrain from saying—or _doing_—what he really wanted to express.

Edwards' lips curled up at the sight of me blushing, which confirmed that this situation had gone straight to hell in the pits of a blundering oblivion. I was completely flustered and at a complete loss for words at this point.

I don't know why the aura felt so uncomfortable; it's not like I was caught cheating or anything, but at the same time, I feel like Iwas.

Edward finally chimed in. "So… shall we?"

If Jake wasn't going to stop talking to me after tonight, I'll be getting an earful of it the next time I see him. That was inevitable.

I pulled the helmet off my head and handed it to Jake. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

He looked down at the helmet with disgust before snatching it from me.

"Yeah, same time as always. Don't worry; I'll have you home on time." He spat sarcastically, "Wouldn't want you to be late now, would I?"

"Jake, that's not fair." I told him.

"Yeah, well…C'est la vie." He retorted, kick starting his bike before speeding off and vanishing around the corner.

_C'est la vie._ That's life.

_Some friend I am…_


	10. Life in Theory and Practice

**Authors Note: **Really pay attention to the significance of this chapter. There are a lot of very important variables going on that will be later applied as it progresses. Thank you to everyone that has stuck it out with us this far, you're the best! And to make up for the lack of updating, here's a long, lovely chapter to (hopefully) make up for it. :)

Thank you for reading.

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* * *

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**Bella POV**

I kept staring at that dark, vacant corner hoping for Jacob to change his mind, to say that he wasn't pissed at me, and that he understood that the friendship between Edward and me was totally innocent. I picked and prodded at alternative reasons why Jacob could've left. Like maybe he had somewhere to be at a certain time or had a pressing issue at home, but I kept retreating to that distraught look in his eyes, the same he when he had told the story about his mom.

Overwhelmed, heartbroken, completely shattered…and I was the one to cause it for a second time.

I hurt him…bad.

My eyes darted to Edward when he asked if I was ready to go and I bitterly turned for the car to make it out like it was now a chore. I could hear the soft trot of his footsteps trailing behind me and the very lack of sympathy from his end set my stomach into a nauseous quiver, so I particularly quickened my pace enough to give him a visual on just how angry I really was.

I reached for the passenger door, but Edward hastily barred my path, frenetically sliding between me and my destination and observing me with a curious smile.

I rolled my eyes and stepped away from the car. "I thought you wanted to leave."

"What are you thinking?" He asked, leaning back against the vehicle while draping his elbows across the hood.

I gazed heavily at him implicating the question, '_do you really have to ask?'_ and reached for the door again, this time getting far enough to crack it open before he slammed it shut.

He stretched his smile from ear to ear, which set my nerves on fire. "Seriously."

"I'm _seriously_ thinking you should move out of the way because I'm going to freeze to death unless I get into the car." I altercated, nudging him away from the door.

His smile drooped to a disappointed frown as he straightened up from the vehicle and stepped away from the door, opening it for me to get in. Either that was the gleam of remorse I was looking for or he was just frustrated I wasn't giving into his stupid mind games, but I'll take either one. The cold leather seats sent chills over my body as I tightened the jacket around my chest, blasting the heat on high and impatiently waiting for the cramped area to swell up with heat while he shifted into reverse, slowly backing out of the driveway.

I maintained my private, impervious goal of ignoring him by watching the houses whoosh past us one after the other and felt relieved when I gathered that my head was no longer fuzzy and rampant. _Never touching that shit again_… I nodded to myself in a silent promise.

"Can I smoke in here?" I asked, shaking my cigarettes in the air.

He grimaced reluctantly, but eventually reached down and pushed the car lighter into the dash. _Nice to know the terrorist was still being humane through his interrogation._

"If you tell me what you're thinking first." he smirked, holding the lighter hostage.

_I knew it couldn't be that easy._

"I'm thinking of how upset Jake was when you decided to show at my house without giving me a heads up," I answered honestly. "And if I don't get nicotine to my brain very soon I might have a complete emotional meltdown."

"Well, I'm sorry I acted that way. It was for my own selfish, impetuous amusement and I apologize." He lamented while handing over the lighter.

The second I inhaled my cigarette a rush of relief filled my chest, and finally I was feeling human again. I melted back into my seat and closed my eyes through a deep release of toxic smoke, subconsciously relieving all of the pent up tension and emotion and finally reclaiming the world around me. I peaked over into Edward's direction and noticed him admiring my relief.

"Want one?" I asked, tempting him with my lethal salvation.

He stared at me for a few moments with a gratified look on his face.

"No, I have other ways of alleviating my stress that are a lot less deadly." he laughed.

_I'll just assume that was meant to be an inside joke._

I changed the subject. "Back to the cliff we go then?"

He approved with a firm nod almost as if it weren't even up for discussion. I suppose I could do the beach thing again. After all, I've been there every night for nearly two weeks straight, so what's one more going to hurt, right?

I sure as hell hope you can feel the sarcasm used on that one…

We pulled off onto the same, familiar road and started through the same path of trees we've ventured through since day one. Personally I found it a little grim to be hanging out at the very place I tried to end my life. Even though I don't really remember what made me decide against it as the whole night is now a blurry memory—many thanks to the alcohol—I _do_ remember somehow changing my mind when I slipped. So in a way, I'm kind of glad that happened.

At first I thought Edward was impressed how good I was at climbing from the way he'd throw in a compliment or two behind me and joke for me to wait for him, but lately he'd been effortlessly beating me to the clearing by several feet. After that I felt pretty stupid for even bragging how I used to climb trees when I was little.

I started to lose my balance just as the trail got steeper and Edward turned around and with a smile, grabbing my arm with his ice cold hands as he lifted me up the rugged hillside. Call it excessive pride but I had a feeling he'd just make another cocky remark if I thanked him.

"Your hands are freezing." I complained, instead.

"Maybe your hands are just really hot." He playfully retorted.

I rolled my eyes and continued ahead of him to the spot we normally resided at and sat down; him sitting next to me moments after. He always waited for me to sit before he sat himself, which I figured was just another part of his chivalrous nature.

Edward tapped my shoulder and I turned around with a less than welcoming expression.

"You're still mad." He concluded rather than asking, hugging his knees to his chest.

I shot him a look in a way that told him _'Gee, you think?' _which only made him smile even more, which only made _me_ even more _furious_.

"You can be mad at me all you want, but the night's going to be very dull without anyone to make any use of it." He tempted with a laugh.

I wasn't amused, nor persuaded.

"All this drama." He trailed off with a sigh. "Why can't people realize there is so much more to life than finding reasons to be hostile toward each other?"

I winced. "Excuse me but I feel I'm in the right to be a little angry at the fact that you made one of my best friends feel even worse tonight than he already was."

* * *

**Edward POV**

I empathized with a smile and turned my attention to the beautiful horizon before us. It didn't feel necessary to add more fire to the flame. I really didn't have much else to say to be honest. Plus I'd no idea _what_ to say or _how_ to say it—positive reinforcement was never my thing. People live…and then they die. The insatiable spiral of death, and the only thing you're ever guaranteed in this world, aside from my kind.

Of course I could never tell her that, which proves my point even more: why waste your time ending friendships and causing strain when you're tomorrow is so uncertain? If that's one law of logic I could press on the human race, I definitely would; primarily when it came to Bella.

I wanted her to show her everything. To guide her in the right direction and assure her that there is so much she has yet to learn. But alas, I must continue on like I'm just another face in the crowd, the last that stands while the rest disappear and replace with their more youthful ascendants.

There was a different fondness I held for her though. She was rational…brash…and clung to sentimentalities. Under normal circumstances that would be considered a bad thing, but unlike most humans, she didn't need constant validation, but rather security; maybe a shoulder from time to time. Someone to promise her that meaning still exists in her life and nothing was ever done by coincidence… and so did I.

Maybe that's why we got along so well and what more than likely explains why I've been more patient with her than I have with any other human being. My life evolves around patience, but only when it came to me. I'm not stupid, I'm narcissistic and am clearly aware of that. I accept that. What I can't accept, however, is the lack of reason for why I can't hear her thoughts.

Maybe I'll see what Carlisle says when I get home. He'll be more than thrilled with a new challenge, especially a unique one as this.

For now I'll just have to wait it out and deal with this bullshit hand I've been given; this bullshit hand being incredibly ridiculous human drama that I'll never care to comprehend. I suppose there is a bright side to it all though. I've been eager for some substance in my life, so I guess I got what I asked for.

_Okay, you need to turn this around and fast, _I silently preached. _You'll really need to charm your way out of this one._

I palmed my face to mentally swipe the aggravation away and drew the rest out with a calming sigh. "How long are you going to stay mad at me for?"

She shot back a look of utter disgust, suppressing the words she really wanted to say with a soft nibble of her bottom lip. After that I became completely lost in translation seeing how I'd normally pick apart persons thoughts to configure their next move, but considering the circumstances, I'll just go ahead and say that my plan was failing.

I anxiously sleeked back my hair and scanned my surroundings to search for a topic of interest. I needed to put in a little more effort. The topic I chose fell extremely deep into the slums of meaningless small talk, which I hated, but I truly had nothing better.

"So how do you like Forks as opposed to Phoenix?"

The growing silence in the air confirmed the stupidity of that statement and I looked back at her desperately searching for answers that her mind wouldn't reveal, but she was just as impenetrable and starless in contrast to the ones boasting through the velvet night above us.

"What's on your mind?" I asked, changing the context of the same question I'd been asking time after time.

She muffled my persistent inquisitions with a flip of hair over her shoulders as she leaned back on her palms. By this time I was getting frustrated and was sincerely considering just taking her home. At first I was putting up with it for the sole cause of wishful thinking which leads me to believe she would stop pouting in the car at some point, but now I'm getting flat out aggravated.

Here she sits with the same annoying grudge…and here I am just as clueless as to how to make it go away.

_Well, no sense in crying over spilled milk._ I straightened up on my feet and brushed the clinging grass from my jeans. She briefly looked up at me curiously, but eventually turned her attention back to the ocean.

"I had something a little more exciting mapped out for tonight, but looks like I'll be enjoying it by myself." I shrugged, thoughtlessly picking away at the remnant blades of grass and motioning toward a foreign patch of thick brush on the opposite side of which we entered, "But you're more than welcome to join me if you'd like."

"I'm good." She said coldly.

"Suit yourself." I said in a coaxing manner, slowly walking away.

* * *

**Bella POV**

'What are you thinking?' He asks.

'What are your thoughts?' He pries.

I knew what he was doing; he was rubbing it in my face now by saying things to me with such a strong, smug overtone that even the fucking dolphins could sense the lack of remorse. I peeked through the corner of my eye cautiously enough to keep from attracting his attention as he disappeared into the darkness seconds later.

At first I was thinking he was only teasing when he insinuated that he was really going to just leave me there, but after a drawn out time frame, I began counting the seconds in my head.

'_1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10…'_

This turned into…

'_56…57…58…59…one minute.'_

This turned into two minutes…then three…then four…until I eventually lost count when I realized that he actually was going to just leave me there and that's when I began to get a little scared. Not because I was afraid of being alone in the dark, because I'm not. I've become very used to the feeling of being alone and the darkness is only there for bittersweet confirmation. I just had no idea where I was…or how I was going to get home if he was planning on abandoning me.

After several minutes of thorough contemplation, I eventually built up the nerve to get up and follow him. It wasn't until I reached the covert that I realized that I had no idea were he was going, but was conveniently able to see Edwards' faint trail barely enough to track it to the end.

The pasture was much similar to the one we frequented, except it was much smaller and the foliage wasn't nearly as appealing. Edward was standing at the edge of the bluff, which took me back to when we first met. The only difference was that he didn't look distraught. In fact he was the complete opposite; calm, completely content with his hands lazily dangling from his pockets with his head tilted back to the sky.

I don't know why, but for some reason I had the feeling that he was hiding something. No, that's not it. If that was the case I wouldn't be hanging out with him so much. Distracted, maybe? Yeah, he was definitely distracted.

Our conversations always held some sort of cathartic experience. I'd ask how he was doing and he'd spill his life out to me like he'd been waiting for years for someone to come along and listen, and then he'd switch the topic back to me as soon as he began feeling a little uncomfortable.

It sort of dispersed in patterns, I guess. He'd listen closely for a little while, and then trail off like he was in deep thought. More often than not I'd ask what _he_ was thinking, but he'd just stare at me and smile like he didn't even notice he was doing it.

Call it an oxymoron, but that's how our relationship worked. We were the kind of friends that could sit until the morning without revealing too much about our private lives. Secret friends that found common ground between secrets yet shared everything else. And I liked it that way.

"There you are." He coyly said with his eyes closed.

"Here I am." I sighed, walking up behind him. "So what did you want to show me?"

He pressed his finger against his pursed lips. "_Shhh_…listen."

I was taken back a little, but listened. I don't necessarily know what I was _listening_ _for_, but I listened. And after a few moments, I _still_ didn't know why, but I listened anyway, yet all I got on my end were crickets and creatures roaming about in the bushes. Either he was totally messed up on something or I needed to get my ears checked out.

"I don't hear anything." I confessed. "Am I supposed to hear something?"

He mumbled something under his breath that sounded like 'that's the point', and then drew in a deep breath and turned around, greeting me with a warm smile. I picked out a spot with the least grassy residue and sat down where he followed right after…as always.

"So I'm guessing you're not mad anymore." He joked.

"No, I suppose I'm not." I shrugged, suddenly realizing it myself. "So before we continue…what did you want to show me?"

"I'll get to that in a minute. Let's talk a little bit first."

I began the conversation with the very same question I asked every night. It was the easiest transition of kick starting our endless night of chit chat.

"Okay, let's start with you. How are things?"

He fell onto his back, forcing me to silently chuckle at the faint comparison to a patient relaxing before unleashing all of their deepest, darkest secrets to their therapist.

"Jumbled." He said, and then I asked why. "I think maybe I've just come to terms with the fact that my life is and always will be sedentary."

"It's only sedentary when you allow it to be." I replied, lying back in the same position as him.

"I suppose," he said, "but it's hard to look forward to a future when you don't see one for yourself."

I rolled my head over in his direction. "You don't see a future for yourself?"

He shook his head.

"That sounds a little ridiculous if you ask me." I chuckled.

"It's not ridiculous, it's honest!" he laughed. "Don't you ever have those moments where you feel incredibly insignificant and nothing ever seems to make sense? That's how I feel most of the time. Not all the time of course, right now I'm fine, but whenever something good happens to me, there's always that period of darkness where I'm drifting in the wayside of my own self loathing and the closer I think I'm getting shore, the further I'm pulled back." He folded his hands behind his head and sighed, "I just keep getting pulled deeper and deeper into this bottomless sea of contrition; never finding solitude."

"I think we all feel like that sometimes." I nodded. "So you're definitely not alone there."

"I can't say I agree with you, but I digress." He stated, pausing for a moment before continuing. "Can we turn the topic from me for a while? Tell me a little more about you."

I laughed. "What is there to know? I think we know enough about each other to easily decide on Christmas gifts this year."

He weakly smiled, appearing a little lost in thought.

"What's on _your_ mind?" I asked.

_Nothing wrong with shooting back with one of his own lethal weapons every once in a while_, I smiled to myself.

"I'm thinking of asking what happened to your mom, but I feel like that'd still be inappropriate to bring up."

My body immediately stiffened, and then suddenly I was feeling relatively uncomfortable.

"Oh." I mouthed, shifting my body from side to side to satisfy the sudden discomfort that suddenly overwhelmed me.

Yeah, it was a pretty damn inappropriate thing to bring up, but I'm not going to get mad about it. Several months ago, yeah, I'd be pretty damn mad about it. I used to be angry. Very angry in fact, but I'm not anymore. But even so, I'm a very private person and Edward was still new in my life.

"We don't have to talk about it. I was just thinking out loud because you asked." He assured me.

"Thank you." I choked, anxiously pulling out another cigarette and quickly lighting it up.

He watched as I lit up my cigarette and palmed his face regretfully.

"I made you nervous." He moaned through his fingertips. "You only smoke around me when you're nervous."

I nodded in agreement. It took me a moment to recall the cigarettes I've smoked around Edward, considering how insignificant those times were, but one thing I did recall was how infrequently I smoked around him, so it was probably true.

"I'm sorry, I really need a muzzle, don't I?" he muttered.

I shook my head with a faint smile and told him he was fine, but I could tell he knew I was lying. Not so much that he needed a muzzle, not that I don't agree with it, but the fact that I was fine.

The image of my mom's face surged through my head and it made me a little queasy and flustered with the same anger I'd felt time after time. I've had this guilt weighing on my shoulders for almost a year, which feels even longer than it truly was. I've mistakenly blamed myself for her death, even though it wasn't my fault, but that's only half the reason.

_I've been angry for so long…_

"Tell me." Edward interrupted, rather intrigued more than anything.

"How often do you think about dying?" I half asked, distracted by the luminous cherry of my cigarette.

"Not at all, why?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be proud, everybody thinks about it."

"I really don't." he chucked, "Not in a negative sense, anyway."

I blinked. "Then when do you think about it?"

He thought for a moment to carefully choose his words. "Never mind, I take that back. I do think about it, but not because I fear it."

I asked him why, but as always, he rejected my pressing question and changed the subject.

"Are you ready?" he asked, standing to his feet. "For what I was supposed to show you I mean."

"Oh," I said, "Yes."

He extended his hand to help me up and I followed beside him to the edge of the bluff, tracking his gaze down to the watery bottom in wonder to where he was getting at. The ridges on the edge were very different than ours. They were steeper; less jagged. Had I known of this spot, I would've probably chosen this one instead.

I kept looking down at the waters beneath us, curiously looking for whatever it is he wanted me to see.

"What are we looking for?" I asked out loud.

He looked at me and smiled.

"Deliverance."

* * *

**Edward POV**

The look on her face when I said that was absolutely priceless. She was at a loss for words; stunned, indefinitely. I suppose the ghoulish tone I used made it sound all the more eerie, but it was all for theatrics. I am known to easily amuse myself, you know.

"Cliff diving…" I cleared up, "Ever been?"

She shook her head.

"No, I don't think they really consider jumping off the Grand Canyon as much of a recreational sport." She chuckled, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Some people might, but I don't think they expect much excitement when they splat against the ground."

"Actually when you're falling from that high of a drop you're more than likely going to bounce off back in the air at least once or twice." I corrected her, "There is an initial splat though, probably a few in fact."

She rolled her eyes. "Well I was right about the splat, okay?"

"Yes, the splat part is correct." I laughed. "Okay enough about all that death talk, are you up to it?"

"Suddenly it doesn't seem all that appealing anymore,"

"Nonsense. Here, take my hand."

I reached down and grabbed her clammy hand in mine; gently pulling her to me as we crept closer to the steep drop. There was no way she's going to back out of this because I'd been mapping out my pep talk all day.

"I don't think I want to do this," she stated, shivering up and down.

"I figured you were going to back out," I laughed.

She shoved her elbow in my side, which definitely hurt her more than me. "What do you mean 'backing out'? I never agreed to it in the first place!" she complained, "Don't you remember that life-saving speech of how I'd most likely bounce off the rocks a few times before I'd hit the water? That right there shoves cliff diving way down on my bucket list."

_Damn. I was hoping she'd forget about that._

"I was just trying to talk you out of it!" I explained, "A lot of locals actually use this spot specifically. It's one of the safest ridges on the shoreline. Trust me."

"Oh—so you want me to trust you after you just admitted you were lying to me?" she joked.

I cupped her hand tighter as I felt her maneuver her back away from my hand.

"I'm sorry; I was just trying to help." I shrugged, sliding my palm down to the lower curve of her back. "You're okay. I'll be right next to you the entire time. Just close your eyes and wait for me to say jump."

"Okay."

She looked down at our fingers entwined with a faint smile gleaming at the corner of her mouth and that made me instinctively release the pressure of my hold; not fully letting go as that would probably offend her. I didn't want to give the wrong impression; I was simply offering her that comfort that she craved from me. You know, trying this new thing called 'compassion' that apparently lacked in my character.

"If it's any comfort to you, I've made the jump before and it's not that bad." I told her. "It's only scary for the three second fall, but once you hit the water, you'll be glad you did it."

She closed her eyes while sucking in a deep breath to calm her nerves.

She exhaled, "Let's do this."

"Okay, on the count of three." I warned her.

Her clench hardened. "Wait! Don't we need a running start or something?"

I nodded in agreement and we took a few steps back.

"You can close your eyes on the way down if you want to."

She shook her head vehemently.

"I won't be able to."

"Want me to hold your hand instead?"

She stared me in the eyes with a pleading nod as her heartbeat hitched in synch with her shallow, yet quick breathing pattern. I had to shake off the light-headed feeling in my head because of it. _You'll feed later,_ I reprimanded to myself. _Knock it the fuck off!_

"Okay…one…"

_Thump…thump…thump, thump…thump, thump, thump… _

"…two…"

_Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump…_

"…three!"

My head swirled and twirled with insatiable contemplation as we hurdled toward the edge of the cliff.

Feed on her quickly then let her sink. No one will ever know.

I shook off the persistent thoughts once again, leaping off the last few inches of grassy mound with the arch of my foot. I'm not too sure if she made as swift a launch, but she managed to launch out in front of me and whipped back just as fast, which had me contemplating whether or not I may have yanked her a little too hard. Her heart was pounding at an incredible rate.

It can be quick. She won't have to suffer. Just break her neck and be done with it.

Gratefully enough, her varying screams of fear and sheer excitement interrupted me as we hurdled down to the waters surface, hand in hand, while the teasing thirst of my dry tongue shattered my dilemma from the swelling wetness of the ocean.

* * *

**Bella POV**

The exhilarating temperature change sent an uproar of chills throughout my body, yet the heavy pressure of the water muted my screams. The push and pulling of waves flipped me beneath the oceans current every which way and it wasn't until the relief of a calming moment that I realized I no longer had Edward's hand for comfort.

_He's already at the top, he's already at the top_, I reassured myself, swimming my way toward the surface.

Yet it seemed that the more I found myself struggling for air, the more I feared for what Edward must've felt had my luck run out and he was actually sinking to the bottom, then I began flailed my arms in a frantic stroke, desperately stretching as far as I could until I finally pushed through the surface, filling my lungs with a much needed gasp of air. I had such a fear for his safety that I'd almost forgotten my own,

"Edward?"

I twirled around the water strenuously searching for any sign of him, still filled with adrenaline from the jump. A shark could attack me right now and I would bet my life I could probably take him on with my bare hands.

I dove back under the water to see if my worst fears had proven that he hadn't made it to the surface yet until the accelerating pressure had me decide it was probably a bad idea. I then rationalized that it wouldn't make sense to risk my life had chances been that Edward didn't make it, as selfish as it sounds, but the current was too strong for my small frame to handle and I didn't want to risk not finding my way back to the surface.

I retreated back to the top and thought best to head for shore, for I'd probably get a better view from there. I pulled myself up the jagged grey rock when a hand reached out for mine.

"Miss me?" He winked.

His wet, shaggy hair covered his eyes as he shook the water from his face. I exhaled deeply and gave him an expression of both relief and anger as he pulled me out of the water.

"Are you okay?" he asked, clearly baffled.

I pulled my hand away from his. "Yeah! I just didn't know if _you_ were okay. I was looking all over the place and thought you probably fucking drowned or something."

He threw his head back in laughter. "Hush, you're beginning to sound like my mother."

"Well, you couldn't at least wait for me?" I said grabbing my chest to help soothe the excitement of my heartbeat. "You had me thinking the worst."

Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed as we made the walk back up the side of the cliff.

"Ready to go again?" He laughed.

I rolled my eyes over at him and shook my head.

"Okay," he sighed, stopping us just before the hill picked up. "But there's one more thing I want to show you before we go."

He straddled me by the shoulders in a particular position.

"What are you doing?" I chuckled.

He stood behind me and placed his hands over my eyes. "No peeking, just walk with me."

"Is this is the part where you lead me to some secret place, take advantage of me, and then leave me for dead?" I joked.

"What? No!" he laughed, "I would've done that by now if that were the case."

"Tell me where we're going then!"

"Damn it, can you leave one surprise unspoiled for me? It's hard to be charming and unique without you constantly ruining it all the time."

"Sorry," I giggled. "Lead the way, predator."

He mumbled something under his breath and nudged me to start walking. After a few moments of walking in silence, I had the urge to ask where we were going again, but decided against it when I thought of the consequences. I must say, I'm proud of myself though. I managed to hold out the entire way through. We eventually stopped, but he still held his palms snug against my eye sockets.

"Oh, we're here." I smiled.

"Okay, now before you open your eyes, I want to throw in here that I lied when I said that our cliff was my favorite place to be." I told her. "It's only second best. _This_ is my secret coven when I feel like there's no beauty left in the world."

I nodded my head and moments later I fluttered my eyes open when he slowly lifted the veil of his fingertips. And what I saw…I couldn't be convinced that even God had the mind to create a place such as this. There were flowers in shapes and colors I didn't even know existed…and they were _everywhere_; cascading down from tree limbs, down in perfect patterns along swooping vines until they poured out in varying colors along the wide meadow of blue-green grass.

To me it looked like what Neverland might've been like.

My eyes were immediately drawn to a certain white flower that looked much like what I'd imagine a star would just as it burst across the sky. I kneeled next to it and delicately held the strange beauty to get a better glimpse at it.

"That's a Kadapul," he answered for me, walking over and kneeling down. "It's one of the rarest flowers in the world."

"She's beautiful…" I whispered, entranced by its unique structure.

A soft laugh muted through his nose. "The weirdest thing about these flowers is that they only blossom at midnight…but unfortunately die by dawn."

My heart saddened. This goes to show how people always pass up the most insignificant, yet gorgeous and most prominent things in life and don't even think twice to question it. I cradled the flower with both hands now, silently empathizing with it.

"Can we stay with her until morning?" I softly asked.

"Sure," he nodded, "But why?"

"I don't want it to feel like it lived its life alone. Call me crazy, but I figure we'll be out this late anyway…"

"Of course," he replied, planting a permanent seat just inches away from me.

I thankfully smiled in return, then turned back to the plant and released my touch. _It's the least I could do for you._

Edward and I continued our conversation from where we left off from the top of the cliff. Every time I looked to the delicate flower to see if it's time had run out, Edward would tell me a little fact here and there about it before drawing back to ourselves.

I think I was hoping for a moment that maybe the plant would beat the odds and live to see a full day. But sure enough, rays of morning light splintered through the tree tops, and the beautiful flower had withered to nothing but a stem; it's fallen petals the only proof to show it was ever there. But even so, those too will wither, leaving it's existence covered up with time. And that's all.


	11. No Seconds for Me, Thanks

**Author's Note: **What better way to end your Thanksgiving feast with a lovely new chapter? Monday morning, Jessica morning will be doing radio shows to promote the story and will have a website up in the next week or so to get the ball rolling and making this_ very _big! So please spread the word on this story to all your friends and family alike! If we get enough readers, we'll publish this story as an original so you can keep this classic on your bookshelf for years to come! Thank you to all both new and faithful readers. You're the reason why we keep this going. :)

Enjoy the chapter.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

_2 weeks later..._

_It was hard to concentrate on anything besides what Bella and Edward could be doing or have __apparently_ been doing. I couldn't believe how blind I've been! I sat up in my bed and flipped my phone open checking to see if I had any messages, all while reflecting back on the exchange of words in her driveway. If my past with Jessica was so obvious to Bella, I wondered if it was obvious to anyone else.

I've got to admit though; I was pretty flattered when she told me she'd get jealous if I took her back—as if that'd even be an option. _Then again…_

I aimlessly scrolled through my contacts a few times, passing Jessica's name once or twice until I slowly tracked back up until it stopped; the yellow highlight outlining _'Jessica Stanley'_.

_No, no way in hell. I should slap myself for even __considering it.. _

Yet the more I weighed out my options—those options being torn between Bella and Jessica—the less reason I found to just shut my phone and think rationally. Call it jealousy or stupidity, but I was desperate enough to go off of impulse merely to get Bella off my mind and, surprisingly enough, this idiot was the one person on this earth that would help me forget.

I sighed as I watched the cursor blinked periodically in waiting for me to make a decision.  
_  
'Hey you busy?'_ I eventually typed out, hovering my thumb over the send button afterwards.

I'm sure there were better ways for me to vent my anger towards this whole situation, but one thing I've learned about myself is that I'm not much of a critical thinker. Besides, if Bella didn't find it necessary to let me know about Edward, I could have a secret of my own, right?

I swallowed back the remnant contemplation and sent the text; ultimately regretting it immediately after the confirmation came back that it went through.

I guess I had nobody to blame but myself. I could've ignored her replies. Hell, I could've even lied and said the text was sent to the wrong person. Yet here I stood at the end of her driveway for over five minutes waiting to get a reason to change my mind. My feelings for Bella was the only justification I had to turn around, but the more I thought about her and Edward, the more I wanted to run to the front door. Which, stupidly enough, I did.

"Glad to see you finally decided to call me." She flirted, waving for me to come in.

The second I stepped into her house, a flood of memories clouded my mind and that nauseous feeling from the party was faint, but still very much there, which was probably my inner conscious telling me that this whole thing was a big fucking mistake and I needed to run from this psycho before she consumed my soul. But of course I didn't listen to it and instead pushed the worry to the back of my mind because I lacked the required amount of brain cells to think rationally.

Jessica started up the stairs looking back at me with a devious smile, which informed me that the invitation to follow was definitely intended. I couldn't help but notice the obvious few inches of denim missing from her skirt and I couldn't shake the feeling she did that on purpose. _Oh, who am I kidding?_ _It's Jessica Stanley. Of course she did. _

I couldn't help but inwardly laugh at the way she shook her ass as I followed behind her. I knew she'd get overzealous in her 'seductive' attempts, but this was just plain pathetic. Not going to lie though, I did like the view, but that's as far as it went. Jessica was hot, but that's all there is to it. I don't know something about a chick missing a brain seemed to be a bit of a turn off to me. Besides, she wasn't breath takingly beautiful like my Bella and would never make me smile the way she could.

I joined her on the bed and leaned my back against the wall, awkwardly stuffing my hands in my pocket as I tried to appear amazed by her room; even though everything looked exactly the same since the last time I'd seen it.

"So, your girlfriend doesn't mind that your here?" She questioned, scooting closer to me.

I smiled at the thought of Bella being my girlfriend and cleared my throat.

"She's not my girlfriend" I corrected her.

I pulled my hands out of my pocket and nervously played with a stray piece of string from her comforter, trying to manipulate the swelling guilt I had for even coming over. The funny part was that it wasn't because of Bella, but because of Embry.

"How are you and Embry doing? Are you guys official or had he not grown the balls to ask you yet?" I joked.

"Do I ever do things officially?" She teased.

"Apparently not. We were officially unofficial for a full summer." I shrugged.

Her face dropped into a disappointed frown.

"Yeah. I miss that. I miss us." she whispered into my ear as she fiddled with the collar of my shirt.

I think she was trying to be cute, but I really wish she'd knock it off.

She slowly leaned into the crook of my neck and began planting soft, quick kisses on my neck and the more I wanted to strangle her for even touching me, the less sense I found in doing that. My selfish male hormones took control over my mind and I really could have cared less about anything else.

She slowly pulled up my shirt and inched her way down my body through a trail of hot kisses; eventually making way down to my belt buckle and looked up at me with a nibble of her bottom lip to see if it was okay. I let out a defeated sigh and tilted my head back. Maybe it was then and there I should've told her no, but she'd already had my pants undone before I had the proper time to subside my testosterone. I lifted my head to watch the action. Might as well enjoy myself, you know.

"I missed you so much," she whimpered, her hot breath rendering me into a helpless cringe.

I don't know how or why, but that smack of rationality I needed rushed through my veins in an uproar of _'how's this for regret?'_ However, it couldn't have come at a more disturbing time. That goes to show how much of a pussy I really was. Here I am about to get a blow job for virtually no reason other than just showing up and here comes my less than punctual subconscious creeping in to let me know that this probably wasn't the best idea.

"Wait." I grunted, tugging the buckle of my jeans from her hands.

"What's the matter?" She asked, sitting back on her knees.

_Oh, nothing. Just a pansy, is all._

"I'm sorry but I shouldn't have come here."

I fastened up my belt and stood away from the bed. It took a lot of willpower to get me to do it, but I did. Somewhere there is a crowd of men with pitchforks demanding to strip me of my manhood.

She leaned forward and grabbed me by the wrist. "Wait, Jake. Don't go. Let's just talk."

That might've been the best idea: bury the hatchet and find some common ground, but I knew that if I decided to stay, the uglier things might've turned out. She followed me halfway down the staircase and tugged at my arm one last time.

"Can you at least tell me what I did wrong?" she cried.

That made me feel pretty bad and for a mere second I had this gleam of hope that she wasn't as young and dumb as she allowed herself to look, until…

"I didn't mean to jump right into that," she apologized, "Just comes back upstairs and we'll talk first."

Nice to know she was down for casual conversation first. I'm sorry, but I think I'll pass on a five minute blowjob in exchange for a lifetime of regret, thank you very much.

I turned around at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at her. "Embry's a really lucky guy."

I opened the front door and didn't look back. I couldn't. I didn't want to see the disappointment on her face as I fled away from her like I did last summer; not that I really cared that she'd be upset. I've just never been the type to intentionally hurt somebody's feelings despite how much they probably deserved it.

I'd made it out of the frying pan…and into the freezer. Just as I was pulling out of the driveway, I could see Embry's car appeared over the hill. _Shit! _I hit the gas to mask that I'd just come from her driveway, but the confused look on his face as I passed him by shot that glorious idea down quick. I started to debate in my mind on what to do. _Do I just keep going? Do I stop?_ _No, stopping definitely wasn't a good idea._ Instead I settled on a simple smile and half a wave.

I can't even imagine how it would have played out had Embry come over before I left. So much difference those last few seconds made.

The entire way home, my eyes flickered back and forth between the road in front of me and my rearview mirror. I was so tense that my jaw was too stiff and sore to even open by the time I'd gotten home. I wasn't going to take any chances. I didn't feel safe until I was in my house and the door was shut tightly behind me. All it would take were ten minutes of Jessica running her mouth to him and turn it around like I provoked it. I don't think he'd care that much, but I'd never live with myself if I lost a best friend over a few jumbled words from a loose floozy.

I was so glad to finally be home. I loved the warm air that engulfed me after I shut the front door and plopped down on the fluffy grey couch next to my dad and kicked my feet onto the coffee table. My already sore jaw tightened once again once I noticed how dirty my boots were and I knew my dad would notice, too.

"Get those nasty boots off my coffee table!" He spat.

I lazily slid my feet off the table and started to kick my boots off.

"So, what's the plan for tomorrow?" I asked putting my feet back onto the coffee table. Thanksgiving, the one holiday of the year that you have an excuse to over eat and sleep all day and not feel guilty about it. The only thing I hated about Thanksgiving was that it was like the prelude to Christmas.

"Charlie and Bella will be here around four so I'll need your help when you wake up. Preferably before noon, please." He said sarcastically.

"Well then, I better head to bed now." I mocked, looking at my wrist mimicking as if I was checking the time.

I stood up with a stretch and headed to my room where I threw on a pair of basketball shorts and jumped into bed, leaning across the nightstand to set my alarm. Tomorrow I was going to see Bella, but I wasn't too worried about it because for once it wasn't my problem that we ended up a bad note. In fact, I was actually looking forward to the amusement of watching all of her attempts to make up for what she did.

By then I was actually looking forward to tomorrow and daydreamed through different scenarios on how tomorrow would play out until I fell fast asleep.

* * *

"Jacob Ephraim!"

_Oh, what now? Gee, he wouldn't happen to want me to do anything now, would he?_

Of course he did. He only used my full name when he wanted something and wanted it now.

"Get in here and help me get this turkey out of the oven!"

_Whoa, what the hell? What time is it?_ I flipped to the other side of the bed and tilted the clock forward. _12:59_. I clicked over to the alarm time. _11:00. _

Which was right…until I realized that I set the alarm for 11:00 _pm_.

_Obviously, I am an idiot._

I hastily hopped out of bed and floated back and forth across the room until I found my favorite pair of denim jeans to compliment the slightly wrinkled, yet still presentable plaid shirt. I didn't think anybody would really notice. Actually I think they'd notice more had I taken the effort to actually _wash_ my clothes. Laundry was the always last thing on my list of things to do, simply because I hated it.

I doused myself with a generous amount of cologne to cover up the smell. "Be right there!"

The heat from the kitchen swelled my nostrils from the sweet aroma of the contents in the oven. My dad always got pretty overwhelmed when it came to the holidays and the only reason we even celebrated at our house was because Charlie was shit for a cook. Not that my dad was any better, but I sort of picked up the knack for cooking from my mom.

I walked to the kitchen to see my dad not only bent over in the oven with my mom's infamous blue-laced apron on, but had a cute pair of oven mitts to match.

At least I would never go so far as wearing oven mitts. That's where I draw the line…

"Nice apron." I teased, "You'll make a fine wife someday."

His head briefly peeked over his shoulder as he struggled to pull the large and slightly burnt bird out of the compact area. "Don't worry kiddo; I got you one to match."

I nodded to the foil covered turkey straddled between his fists. "What do you need my help for? Looks like you got it covered."

_It hasn't caught fire just yet…that's good news…_

"Yeah, I gotta feel it'll be bone dry though." He sighed, straightening up from the oven and pulling the mitts off.

I carefully peeled back the foil to see the damage. "It'll be fine. We'll just need to boil the slices in some chicken broth is all."

I covered up the tin dish and looked over at my dad, whom was shaking his head with a soft smile.

"What?" I blinked.

"You've got a solution for everything, don't you?" he chuckled, "Just like your mother." He stroked the back of his neck to distract his emotions. "Can't believe it's going on four years now…"

I furrowed my brow and shook off the reminder.

"Yeah, I know." I choked.

"Damn, I miss that woman…" he trailed off, eyes distractedly fixed to the floor, then looked up at my shirt. "How many times are you going to wear that shirt, son?"

It wasn't until I got a good look of my clothes that I noticed the questionable stains splattered across the front. Guess I should really double check in the mirror or something before I leave the house.

"Shit," I huffed, turning back towards back to my room, "Pull that turkey out before it burns. I'm going to change."

My dad mumbled a few inaudible words from the kitchen, but didn't argue any further. To hell with that, if I'm going to act like Bella's brash moodiness doesn't faze me, I need to at least_ look_ the part. I scrambled through the bland assortment of dress clothes in my closet, finally pulling out a rather cheesy collared shirt. Green was never really my color, nor did the accent of blue pinstripes really help, but it was clean. Yes, it was only clean because I'd never worn it. I'd never worn it because it was ugly. However, it looked nice.

On the other hand, it only looked nice because I'd never worn it.

I contemplated for several minutes and desperately searched through my closet for other options, yet I kept falling back to the hideous collared shirt.

_Do I really want to be seen in this?_ I inwardly groaned.

"Fuck it."

I regrettably pulled off the stained shirt and replaced it with its less appealing counterpart, this time making a mental note to check in the mirror so I wouldn't have to come back for any reason. I flipped on the bathroom light and was more than depressed at the reflection staring back at me. _Why would anyone sell this shit? Better yet, who the fuck would buy it?_

I couldn't even remember where I got it from, to be honest. It's just been stashed away in my closet for years, completely forgotten about until now. It's like that pathetic Christmas dish you get during Secret Santa and you just store it until you can pass it off to somebody else the following year. _God, if only…_

I gave myself one final look before turning off the light.

"Hey! That looks good on ya, buddy!" my dad complimented with an approving nod.

Of course he'd like it. Why wouldn't he like it? It's green. And it's collared. Oh, and it's pinstriped; can't forget the blue pinstripes.

I decided best to ignore further acknowledgement. "What do you need me to do? Any sides left?"

"Everything's done. Just need that turkey juiced up, I guess." His husky voice rumbled with laughter. "So much for being up before noon, aye?"

I rolled my eyes decided to ignore that too and began slicing the turkey.

One thing I loved about holidays is the nice dishes that we got to use. My mom loved her gold rimmed china that we used for all the special occasions. I would always help her set the table and we would pull the dishes from the china cabinet so carefully. She taught me etiquette for table settings. I loved making things look just right.

Just as we got the rest of the table fixed up: food in place, plates and silverware carefully set, and candles for that oh so delicate touch—courtesy of the infamous Billy Black—Charlie and Bella were at the door. It was unusual for him to be over before four, but the football game was starting a little earlier this year.

"Get the door Jake, I gotta change my shirt." My dad said hustling up the stairs.

You would think the president was coming to dinner or something. I don't know what made today any different than normal, but then again, he always made a spectacle of the holidays. Maybe he was trying to make up for my mom not being here or something.

I took a peek through the small window on the sides of the door. Bella was nervously looking down at her feet with a plate of cookies in her hands; Charlie had what looked to be like ham.

_Okay, Jake. It's game time._ I opened the door with a big smile.

"Hey Jake!" Charlie smiled, pulling me in for a rather brief, manly hug.

Bella looked at me apologetically as she lifted the plate of cookies to me.

"They are chocolate chip." She said with a soft smile. "Still warm."

"Thanks." I thanked, taking the cookies into the kitchen. "You guys can grab a seat anywhere in the dining room. The food is ready."

Just as I was coming out of the kitchen with the steaming turkey slices, my dad came hopping down the steps finishing the last few buttons on his brown flannel and took a seat across from Charlie.

"Good to see you guys," he nodded, "Charlie, brought ham this year I see. I hope it'll be better than that chicken casserole thing you made last year. Remember that Jake?"

I set the turkey down on the table and took a seat beside my dad. "Don't you mean the canned chicken slop where the vegetables were still frozen?"

"Alright, alright. Enough shit talking," Charlie grunted. "I had Bella to help me out this time, so I think your stomach will survive."

We each went around the table and said what we were thankful for. It was a new thing we did because Charlie brought it up. Of course he said he was thankful for Bella coming down, I said the typical 'friends and family' cop out, and my dad was thankful for his job and his stability.

When it came down to Bella's turn, she looked up at me with her hands folded on her lap and smiled. "I'm thankful for having such a great friend that I can always rely on."

Our fathers nodded in admiration, but I simply narrowed my eyes and shook my head. I really wanted to tell her I wished I could say the same, but silenced myself by shoving a spoonful of mashed potatoes in my mouth.

I wanted her to apologize for so long but honestly that was good enough for me. Her eyes were pleading for some sort of forgiveness the whole night. Just going over to Jessica's house last night was revenge enough for me.

Bella started to clear the table and I followed her into the kitchen with a plate full of leftovers in my hands.

"Here, let me take that," she offered, taking the plate and scraped the scraps in the trash.

I thanked her and returned back to cleaning off the table. _That's it. Just keep on with the one-worded responses, _I praised myself.I wasn't ready to give in just yet. However I should've decided to react a little quicker because they didn't stick around long enough for the game to end, which was when I was hoping to get a word with her.

I waited nearly an hour before sending her a text. _'Got nothing to say about what you did, huh?'_

A few minutes passed by before I got a response. _'If you want to talk, you know where I live.'_

_'Yeah I do.'_

I didn't even wait for her response when I peeled off on my bike. There she was waiting for me on her front porch, sitting up properly in her dressy black outfit with her folded hands pressing her legs together.

"Dinner was great tonight," she smiled.

I walked up and leaned against the house. "Sure was."

"So, what'd you do last night?" she asked through a deep breath.

I hesitated for a moment.

"I went to Jessica's."

Her eyes shot up with me and her jaw draped in appall.

"Why?" she snapped.

_I knew that'd get her blood boiling._

"To catch up." I smirked.

She belted out a sarcastic chuckle and rolled her eyes. "Pathetic."

"What's pathetic?"

"You basically went to her house just to get back at me," she said, "I'm not stupid, but I don't see why you'd do that."

"Because I missed her."

"Bullshit."

I snapped my head back. "How is that bullshit?"

"Because you hate her."

"Not anymore," I lied, "We talked it out. In fact, we're together again."

She quirked her brow and turned her head, "And what does Embry think of all this?"

"He's cool with it." I shrugged.

"Uh huh."

She stood up from the steps and turned back for the door. "You know, I'd expect this from any other person, but I honestly thought you wouldn't stoop so low to make something up like that."

"I'm _not_ lying!" I growled.

She opened the screen door, stepped inside, and shut the door behind her without a word.

_No, no way in hell was she going to get off that easy__. _I know I'm the one who usually just walks away, but then again, I've never been the one who constantly does wrong. The least I deserve is a fucking explanation.

I stomped up to her porch and pounded my fist on the heavy wooden door. Seconds later, she frantically swung open the door and shoved open the screen.

"What?" she demanded.

"No, don't turn this around on me like_ I'm_ the one who fucked up!" I shouted, "I'm not the one who kissed somebody, then goes behind their back and hangs out with somebody else? Just how long has that been going on, anyway?"

"What do you want me to say, Jake?" she huffed, "I kissed you to get back at Jessica. That's _your _fault for reading too much into it, _not mine!_ And as for Edward, I'm allowed to have friends other than just you, okay?"

"Then why'd you keep it a secret?" I hollered, "Why couldn't you just tell me?"

"Think about it, Jake. It's the _same_ fucking reason why you hide your shit with Jessica from Embry. I knew you'd get pissed and I'd lose you as a friend. So, really, we're in the same boat right now, so why are you acting like you're so perfect?"

"It's not the same thing." I growled through clenched teeth.

She walked back through the screen door and turned around. "Whatever, Jake. Tell Jessica I said hello."

She slammed the door behind her, leaving me in silence and completely stumped for words as I turned back for my bike in both shame and fury. _Next step, I'm going to rip that fucking Cullen kid apart. _


	12. That's Not Santa!

**Authors Note: **If you haven't heard, Jessica's been on a few radio stations promoting this story and **Blood Born** now has an official place at **Blogger **as well as a place at **Twilighted**. To listen to any of the interviews, add Jessica on Facebook at **/nessajova**. Add Megan on Facebook at **/MeganLeighPrather** and add her photography page!

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**Edward POV**

I've been sitting on this park bench for hours watching the herd of discount-addicted patrons flourish the streets of the rather large city of Spokane. I don't understand it, but Black Friday has become quite the spectacle over the last twenty years. Normally I'd do anything in my power to avoid this horrible idea of a 'holiday', but right now I'm desperate.

It's been nearly a month since I've last fed and the hallucinations I'm transpiring are making people out like they're inviting me in with their necks crooked just enough for me to indulge myself. The circles smudged beneath my eyes have darkened into a sickly plum shade and the hues of orange churned slowly but surely enough to about the same color.

Yet as much as the hunger pangs have sent my mind into total delirium, the idea of killing another human being at this point now doesn't seem quite as appealing as it did before.

Yes, the jaded and inconsiderate son of a bitch known as Edward Cullen has softened his mighty roar to a mere kitten's mew.

Believe me I've attempted to feed on my off-nights with Bella; midnight, the darkest hour. But in every man's face, I felt her willpower, every woman's eyes were her beauty, and with every child's smile, I heard her laugher. And it's all because being with said damsel in distress virtually every night has reminded me that humans were still human and that I've just used my ethics as a way to get what I wanted.

Not that I'd ever take a child's life, I just needed to test my theory: where did I suddenly connect two and two together? Why was she was so prominent to me and what does it all mean?

Before I was ruthless; I was inconsiderate. I still am in a sense but now—right now—I can't stop thinking that maybe everyone was only trying to mask their good from me like they're aware I can read into them and they purposely keep their virtues hidden beneath lies, deception, and evil.

With each opportunity literally passing by, I found guilt sinking deeper into the icy bench beneath me if I reacted. The abundance of snowflakes dancing around only instigated the distance between me and my meal. I even ventured another hundred miles afurther from my usual spot to see if that would help any and it didn't.

_Who knew love could be so reprimanding?_

My body stiffened.

_Did I just say love?_

Well of course I didn't mean love; affection wouldn't even be the right adjective. Attachment at most, but definitely not love.

I've been in this world for over a hundred years and have encountered countless minds and faces; never before have I been in love and Bella was certainly no exception unless it was because I couldn't see into her mind. _But oh, to fall in love with the unknown…is that really love or just a sick fascination with mystery?_

I wouldn't even know the difference since I've only experience the one side of it. Of course Bella's mind was very intriguing to me, but only because it was a mystery, which made me want to know even more.

Now comes the question of all questions: Do I want to learn more about her or do I want to know…just to know? If by some miracle I was granted a sole second in her mind, what would I do after I gathered everything I needed to know?

So many questions and not enough knowledge to answer them.

_Anyway, back to important matters,_ I reminded myself, _my, my, my. What do we have here? _

My eyes fixed on a certain older gentleman walking out of a bakery across the street with something questionable in his hands. Something made of paper in a paper bag…something _stolen_. I kept my fix on him dashing between all of the eager bystanders. He picked a good day to rob a store, but I would've chosen something a little more worthy than a bakery. Not too sure how much money a baker can make selling cakes and cookies on Black Friday—unless this fellow had another alternative.  
_  
Move, move, move,_ the distracted man chanted to himself.

_Hmph…to follow or not to follow..._

I listened in as the man dashed and disappeared through an alley between a couple of retail stores.

_Hurry up before they find him._ _Hurry, man. Hurry!_

I have a feeling this guy's not just worried about the cops finding the register empty.

_Follow._ I nodded, smirking to myself with much appreciation, then shaking my head at the idiotic thought I'd procreated moments earlier. _Of course it wasn't love._

I hurried across the street and briefly stopped in front of the bakery to peek into the victim's mind for proof, but the blatant silence coming from indoors was proof enough for me. I marked the path of where the stumpy man was heading and wrapped around the other side of the building to meet him face-to-face.

I leaned against the brick wall and draped my hood over my face. Why not, I'll play up the theatrics.

"Hello Dennis," I bellowed through a low rumble.

He jumped back, and then stopped and bent over to identify my face. "Do I know you?"

I suppose it's customary for one to ask their assailants name, but being asked my name before I eat every time really started to get on my nerves over the years and the shove of impatience from my caving stomach reminded me to skip the theatrics and get to the point. There were too many people outside to let myself slip; one pair of eyes was all it took to send this town into a haphazard frenzy.

"You don't need to know me," I growled, ripping the hood back from my head, "But I'd like to know more about you. Let's talk."

I grabbed him by the brim of his coat and crushed his neck against the wall, pressing firmly enough to keep him from screaming. I had the opportunity to strike then and there, but my code has always been fail proof. No sense in risking a lifetime of business for a moment of pleasure. Sometimes I really hated how logical I can be.

"Now I'm going to let you speak," I said, "But I swear on my mother's soul, if you so much as raise your voice, I will rip your throat apart. Do you understand me?"

He shivered through a nod.

"Now then, why did you kill the man in that bakery?" I shoved a heave of pressure on his neck as I emphasized on my words. "And don't _fucking_ lie to me."

I didn't realize that while I was awaiting my reply that I still held too much pressure for him to speak and I dropped my arm a little.

"The guy—the guy owed us money, man," he coughed, gasping for air, "He bought the place from my boss and was behind a few months on his rent. I was only going in there to collect, but he got confrontational and—"

"So you _killed_ him." I finished with a firm shove of my elbow.

"He deserved it man!" he hollered, eyes tearing in pain, "He never paid his dues and my boss got fed up with it! He told me to take care of him! I just did what I was told."

"I apologize for the lack of sympathy, but I feel the proper way of taking care of somebody for not paying rent is to evict them."

Nothing says atonement like a few famous last words. His death was simple, like always, but I left him in that snowy alley in his own blood. The town needed the hype and it felt good giving families something to talk about over breakfast.

I met Carlisle in the basement where he did the lot of his experimentations. I know that makes him seem like he's some sort of mad scientist, but he did test a lot of his theories through samples of DNA strains from both humans and vampires, trying to find similarities and finding ways of compiling the two to create a genetic hyper-breed of the undead and still living.

"So you can't read Bella's thoughts," he stated rather curiously while staring through a beaker filled with some form of fluid, "You know, it could be her genetics. Is she naturally withdrawn by nature?"

"Yes, but that wouldn't have anything to do with it would it?"

I walked past the tables holding swirling tubes filtering an array of colorful fluids into various beakers, each separated with a precise amount of distance between each other. I watched as he flicked the bottom of tube like he was waiting for it to do something.

He pursed his lips and hummed, then met my gaze and sighed. "You're right; I can't see how she'd be immune to you, even if she didn't think as actively as anyone else." He set the beaker down and crossed his arms. "I wonder if it's an affect you have on her that keeps her from…no, she'd still have a collective thought or opinion at some point. Why don't you bring her over one night to see if there's something I'm missing."

I crossed out the idea the moment it came out of his mouth.

"Absolutely not," I said firmly.

He was offended by that, but I didn't care. I was not going to scare my only human friend away because Carlisle wanted to use her as a lab rat.

I changed the subject. "What are you working on?"

That put the excitement back into his face. He quickly swooped up the beaker he once held and displayed it for me like he was showcasing it.

"You're going to be impressed. This is a DNA strain I brought home from work," he admitted, "Mitochondria, to be more exact. The patient I acquired this from has a severe case of cancer."

Not unusual. Carlisle was always one to bring his work home with him.

"Now you know how mitochondrion is the powerhouse of the cell? It controls the death rate of cells and is independent from full DNA, for the most part, which makes human DNA more susceptible to mitochondrial mutation."

I flicked the beaker. "So that's what this is? Pure mitochondria?"

He chuckled. "No. I don't have the equipment or the patience to get such a precise extraction."

"I thought you said it was independent of DNA?"

"It is because it carries they're own_ form_ of DNA, but don't have the necessary gene products to function on their own. They still have to exist in the cell."

"So what do you plan on doing with it?" I asked.

"Remember when I said how they're able to mutate? Regular DNA are not, but this is," he smiled, the excitement apparent in his voice, "And I was curious to see if it would be at all compatible with what mitochondrion we had left in _our _bodies…and it is!"

"How did you get the sample?" I asked, increasingly curious to where he was getting at.

"Myself, of course." he smirked, "Blood is very much as needed in us as it is to humans, you know. It doesn't transfer from organ to organ, but it's still very much active. Of course I had to use a strong enough needle to break the skin, but I got it."

The smile on his face was more alarming than anything.

"So what did you get from all of that?"

_Just get to the point, Carlisle. _Sometimes I feel he was being more arrogant than informal.

"They meshed and mutated, of course, just as I thought," he said, "But the outcome was a lot more compelling than I'd ever hope for. It has healing properties."  
_  
Healing properties?_

"What do you mean?"

"Our venom is only productive through our saliva glands, but has no significant effect on our bloodstream. Mitochondrion is the prime reason for vampire life. Its nuclear genetics have become dormant, but are still fully functional. They become stronger over time and mutate themselves. That probably explains our special abilities, but I haven't quite mastered that yet."

"And what happened with the cancer?"

"It's gone! Completely and one hundred percent gone!"

"You cured it?"

"It looks that way. Of course, I'll have to wait it out and see if there are any changes. The DNA might counteract my DNA and will form new cancer cells, but this looks really promising. I'm going to wait a few days and if there are no errors, I'm going to strain another sample from myself and put it into the patient to see how it reacts in a fully functional human body."

I replayed the conversation with Carlisle in my head throughout the next few days. Had he been right—and he usually was—he may have broken what a lot of scientists and oncologists have been trying to find since day one; a cure for cancer. Leave it to Carlisle to find what good vampires have left in them and turn it into something beneficial. And here I was thinking we're nothing but reckless leeches. That made me feel a little better about my situation...a little.

I had the house to myself for most of the day and took advantage of it with some much needed cathartic piano time. I fiddled through most of the notes at first, then progressing into familiar song patterns until I streamed into a few of my old favorites.

I then thought of how Bella wanted me to write a song for her.

Which reminded me of the dormant frustration I've held captivated.

And that had me even more frustrated when Carlisle—the man with an answer to everything—had no idea why I couldn't hear so much as a whisper from her.

If even _he_ couldn't crack the code, who could? Maybe it would be a good idea to bring her to the house. It'd just be for one night and it's not like he'd literally probe her to death. How much damage could be done in one night?

Then again, it's Carlisle we're talking about. That man would interrupt God's creation of earth and insist on better ideas of creating things had he been around that time.

I sat there and played a little longer, struggling for the right notes that would stream harmonically; a perfect compliment to Bella's personality.

I was stumped.

Did she want me a song that summed up my feelings toward her or just a song I thought she'd enjoy…or both? It didn't matter because I had nothing. I was drawing a complete blank.

"You missed the Christmas lights."

Alice's sing-song, small voice strummed my ears and I swung around the bench to acknowledge her. Her small frame coddled the doorway in waiting for my approval to let her pass. Usually I'd be pissed when my family interrupted my critical thinking, but I was relieved.

"I wasn't invited." I smiled. _Actually, I forgot._

Every year my family walked around and looked at all of the light displays during the Holidays. Usually it was within a week of Christmas, I'm surprised they decided to go so early.

"You're never home anymore. You're like a ghost around here now ever since you've been around Bella," she said, walking in and sitting beside me on the bench, "It's good though. She keeps your mind off things."

"_New message!"_ my phone alerted me.

"I wonder who _that_ could be…" Alice mumbled, rolling her eyes.

"What are you talking about? I'm here all day." I said, rather distractedly as I looked down at my phone.

'_Hey, it's Bella. What r u doing right now?' _

I winced at the battered use of vocabulary, but more so toward the fact that it was from a different number, but replied anyway.

'_Got a new phone number, I see?'_

"Yeah, but you're cooped up in your room or you're out doing God-knows-what!" Alice insinuated. She looked down at her twiddling fingers and bit her lip. "Jasper knows."

I shot up at her. "You told him?"

A few moments later, _'Still the same number. Using a friends phone.'_

_Odd…_

'_What friend? Just asking.' _I texted back.

"No, he put two and two together," she corrected, "He sensed you've been harboring something and felt your depression. I didn't confirm it and he never asked, but I know he at least assumes it."

I drew out a sigh and turned back to the piano, stroking a few keys to keep myself distracted from saying something I'd later regret.

I peeked down at my phone when it alarmed me once again. _'Embry.'_

'_Are you with Jake? Why aren't you using his phone?'_

I looked over at Alice whom was getting pretty aggravated I was paying more attention to my phone than to her. "I'm sorry I put you through all of this. I didn't want anybody else to get involved."

"Well, I don't like the fact I have to live with this secret everyday, but not having you around here anymore would be even worse, so I'll just have to deal with it."

'_We're not speaking right now, I thought I told you.' _Bella replied.

I rolled my eyes at the text, recalling the thought I had about human debacles and turned my attention to Alice once again. "I assume that's why Jasper's been avoiding me for the past few months."

"He'll come around. It took me a while to understand what you do and why you do it, but maybe he's more relieved that he's not the only one struggling with it. I think he might be jealous more than anything else."

"There's nothing to be jealous of. It's a horrible feeling."

The annoyance of my phone distracted my attention away from my sister once again. _'I really miss you. Can we hang out right now?'_

_Okay…something isn't right. Bella has never said anything to me like that and why wouldn't she have her phone all of the sudden? Plus she never asked to hang out with me before nightfall._

The only other culprit I could place blame on was Jake. Of course that's who it was. He was probably still bitter from that night in Bella's driveway. Well, whoever it was, I wasn't going to play any petty texting games.

_'r u there?'_

_I'll deal with you later, mystery texter._

"But at least you do it to people who deserve it," Alice said, closing her eyes like she was reassuring herself more than me.

_That only goes so far._ I've been a lot more lenient with myself, but I suppose I'm happy that Alice sees what good I have left in me and I wondered if the rest of the family would take to it the same way as she would…

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_2 1/2 weeks later…Christmas Eve._

It was the night before Christmas, when all through the house, that this creature was stalking a girl named Jen Krause.

No stockings were hung by the chimney, how bare; and little did she know that Edward Cullen was there.

The dealer was nestled all snug in her bed, while visions of slaughter manipulated my head.

A girl in her blanket, and I with my teeth, I'll suck the bitch dry till she no longer breathes.

I came in very gently to avoid making clatter; I sprang on the bed to make her blood splatter.

A few little pills and she was out like a light; I tore up her neck with one simple bite.

I licked up the blood that tried to make it's escape; and finished her off, leaving her jaw quite agape.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, a child in bed with a listening ear.

With a few little words, so lively and quick, I told the child that his mother was sick.

He thanked my concern and went back to bed, but little did he know that his mother was dead.

Had I known before, I would've changed my route; but it's a little too late and there's no need to pout.

I went to the kitchen and pulled out a knife; 'Suicide by throat cut', what a way to end life.

I went back upstairs and placed the knife in her hand; hopefully this way he'll soon understand.

I wrote a small note, no need to be brash; but I've got to explain the incredible gash.

_'...I'm sorry to leave you, my son, but you know, I truly believe you'll be better off alone._

_This world is too big and scary for me, and I think it'd be best that I permanently leave._

_Soon you will know everything within time, but now there's no need to worry, so please don't cry._

_I promised you life, and I plan to keep it; things will get better, whether or not you believe it._

_There's only one thing from you that I ask; don't turn out like me, that's your solemn task...'_

I folded the note and set it beside her, then noticed the room getting increasingly brighter.

Morning was here and before it's too late, I'd better end this now for her child's sake.

_No time for mistakes, I must do this right_; I took the knife to her neck with one final strike.

I decided to leave before the room would flood in a gathering puddle of the drug dealer's blood.

Had I more time I would've cleaned up the mess, but this was is the conviction I sought to be best.

I spoke not a word, and went straight to Bella's house, and that was the end of Miss Jenny Krause.

Here comes the remorse as I'd once felt before, now that kid was involved, I'll feel it much more.

Hopefully Bella will make this pain go away, "Why do I do this to myself?" I say.

I dashed down the block until I was clear out of sight,

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.


	13. Stolen kisses require an accomplice

**Authors note:** Sorry it's been a while since we posted, the holidays have been really crazy! I promise this chapter will make up for the wait. ;) You have my word we won't make you wait that long again. Don't forget to add us on facebook and you can hear our interviews with some nationwide radio stations covering this story.

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**Jacob POV**

I can't see what people mean when they say that there's 'magic in the air' during the Christmas season. I mean sure, families get together and feel all warm and jolly for a few weeks, but everyone just turns back into their miserable selves after New Years Eve, don't they?

Like their New Year's hangover is a slap in the face that retailers were just juicing you up with all the 'tis the season' for this and 'deck the halls' with that bullshit. People will fall for basically anything. Not like I'm one to speak, I've been out Christmas shopping for three hours with my dad and, let me tell you, he sure takes the fun out of whatever it is that's fun about Holiday shopping.

"I'm going to go take a piss, hold onto this for a minute." My dad groaned as he shoved a few bagged gifts to my chest.

"Here's looking out, pop." I muttered to myself.

He disappeared into the wandering crowds, leaving me feeling somewhat naked that I was now alone in our expedition of spending hard-earned money. In a fucking mall, none the less.

A mall filled with a population of ninety percent women at that. I can feel my balls shrivel up in my body from fear alone. Why do women get so crazy when they shop? It's like they have to go out at least once a month and splurge on shit they don't need and the haunting Christmas music blaring through the speakers was like theme music timing my death. I need to get out of here.

I felt an eerie similarity between myself and that guy who got butchered in Spokane a couple weeks ago.

There was a murder on black Friday and the media had it all hyped up making everyone think there's going to be some Christmas shopping massacre. I personally don't find it that big of a deal. Everyone goes a little insane that one day of the year trying to find the best bargain. It was probably some disgruntled shopper who went a little too far. Wouldn't doubt that a woman was behind that either.

I cracked a smile at the half-wit joke, then drooping when I realized how terrible it was. Too soon, man.

I cringed at a familiar chuckle coming from the store ahead of me. I could recognize Jessica's fake laugh from a mile away. She is not someone who I felt like running into right now. I tried to time my entrance to the store perfectly enough to avoid her, but just before I could reach the entrance of my choice, I heard her shout over the crowd.

"Jake! Hey Jake!" she said waving her arms in the air desperately trying to gain my attention.

Fuck.

I stood on my tippy toes and pretended to scope out the crowd to find where the voice was coming from, meanwhile maintaining my walk to the store until I made it. I figured she must've seen me, so I ducked down and wavered through the aisles of clothing until I reached the back of the rather large store.

I peeked beneath the spacing between the bottom of the clothing and the floor to see if she'd taken the initiative to follow…and she did. I could recognize those ugly feet anywhere; gaudy brown boots made from sheep.

I suppressed a groan when she called my name again and asked what I was doing down there. Figure it this way; the faster I have the conversation, the faster it will be over.

But as I popped my head up I noticed, not one, but two faces smiling back at me in waiting for me to greet them.

"Hey," Bella smiled, holding a few of the same matching bags that Jessica was holding, which told me that they'd clearly been shopping together.

"Hey?" I questioned looking back and forth between the two of them.

"You look surprised." Jessica teased with a smirk.

The look on Bella's face said otherwise but she was humoring Jessica anyways.

"No, just out of the loop, apparently." I snickered, completely baffled at their sudden change of heart toward each other.

"Sorry I haven't really kept in touch since Thanksgiving. I've been really busy with work lately." Bella said apologetically.

That excuse was getting a little old. I didn't doubt that she was really busy with work, but it's not that hard to text someone or call to at least let them know that you don't hate their guts.

"It's not a big deal; I have been studying for finals anyway." I lied.

Really I ended up taking a break this semester to figure out what exactly I wanted to do with myself, but she didn't need to know that.

"Well, I'd like to stay and chat, but I've got to get home." Jessica sighed, trying to distract away from the awkward conversation she was pulling into, "I promised Embry we could watch movies tonight as a little break from studying so hard lately. Bella are you riding back with me?" She said suggestively.

Bella looked over at me with a curious look on her face.

"Well, if you don't mind I would like to catch up with Jake for a while. You don't mind if I ride back with you do you Jake?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah. I mean no. I mean that's fine...if you catch a ride with me." I stumbled.

I was not expecting my night to end up like this but I am glad with the direction it was going. The last couple weeks I had honestly given up any hope with even trying to have some sort of friendship with Bella. I just really felt like things always ended up in such mess and, before I was okay with that because that is just how our relationship was, but then I realized it was making her miserable.

"Well, have fun you two." She said parting ways with us. I sensed the obvious discomfort she had when she hurried away.

We just stood their staring at one another for a brief second until she finally spoke up.

Bella watched as Jessica walked off like she was waiting until she was clear out of sight before turning back to me. "Are you still mad?"

"What would I be mad about?" I questioned more to myself than to her. The way she looked all cute wrapped up in her black winter coat and green winter gear made it hard for me to remember what I was originally pissed about in the first place.

"I don't know. The fact that Jessica and I are friends now I guess." She said nervously.

"I don't think mad is the best word to describe how I feel about that." I said nodding forward motioning us to leave the store, "At a loss for words, maybe."

"To be perfectly honest I'm pretty confused about the whole thing, too. The day after Thanksgiving she called and apologized for the whole incident at the rugby game and invited me for lunch. I don't even know why I agreed, but she's really not that bad." She said hesitating to make sure she even believed what she was saying.

I couldn't help but wonder if Jessica was just trying to get under Bella's skin to get to me.

"Well, I am glad that you two worked out your differences. Let's just pray her bad habits don't rub off on you. All we need in this town is another Jessica Stanley." I joked.

"You have nothing to worry about because I don't see that happening anytime soon."

I liked that we could start over like nothing happened. That's what I loved the most about Bella; she never judged anyone and never held a grudge. We could always pick up where we last left, and on good terms at that.

"So, what else is new with you?" I asked curiously.

"Well, I quit smoking." She said turning towards me with a proud smile.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

"I know that must've been difficult. Good for you. It's going to be hard seeing you without a cigarette latched to your hand, though." I laughed.

She nudged me with her shoulder as we made our way around a corner.

"Yeah, the weather was my biggest motivator. I couldn't stand having to stand in the cold every time I wanted a cigarette."

I wondered if Bella still had time to fit Edward into her busy schedule, but I didn't know of any way to pry that information out of her. Plus I felt it was still a touchy subject and didn't want to cause another fight between us.

"Aww! An Ice Skating rink!" She said with a glowing smile.

I turned my head to look over at the ice rink placed at the end of the mall. We made our way to the side and leaned against the railing.

"It's kind of pointless having a skating rink inside of a mall when Washington is surrounded by frozen lakes." I shrugged.

"We have to go Jake," she begged, "I haven't been in years!"

I'd never skated for fun; only when I'd play hockey and that's been a long time for me. Suddenly I felt like I was fathering a child and knew I'd feel guilty if I didn't say yes.

"Alright, alright." I groaned, allowing her to pull me over to the rental counter.

I should've taken that hint when she told me she hadn't skated in years. Of course I didn't mind, but I can only blame myself for thinking she'd still remember how to do it.

"I thought you knew how to skate?" I teased as she desperately clung to my arm with both of hers.

"I told you it's been a while. Hey, stop pulling!"

I retorted with a laugh, "How about you stop falling? I'm just trying to keep us both from going down."

After another half hour of guiding her around the rink a few times-at an incredibly slow pace at that-she finally was able to skate on her own without clinging to me. Sure she had to grip against the railing a few more times, but she eventually got the hang of it.

"Hey, you're doing pretty good there." I complimented to her, grabbing her hand as encouragement to move a little faster.

The sharp sound of skaters shifting across the ice made me anxious to go even faster, but I knew Bella would definitely tumble if I pulled her more. I knew I had to be patient and that was never one of my strong points. It won't hurt if we went just a little faster.

I used the force of my thighs to push my blades against the ice in a much faster repetition and Bella's clutch to my hand fastened tightly as we swerved around the older couples and children. Come on, it was a fairly steady pace considering we're just passing those who can't skate faster.

"I think I'm okay to go by myself." she said confidently, then letting go of my hand and skating ahead.

Circling around the rink brought back a lot of memories and I was glad that I could create a new one with Bella. Watching her actually truly enjoy herself was very pleasing. It was those joyful eyes I didn't see often.

I circled around Bella in temptation to get her to get a little braver and try to catch me. I gracefully skated backward away from her and waved her to come towards me, lapping her twice, and I could tell she was starting to get frustrated with my taunting. She skated a little faster each time I passed her up.

"You're never gonna catch me." I said sliding past her with a teasing smile.

She sped up a little pushing herself off the wall to gain more momentum. I weaved in and out of all the other skaters trying to hurry back towards Bella. Just as I was coming up towards her she looked back at me with the most devious smile.

Now I don't exactly know what I was going for, but I think I was attempting a half-assed air-spin that I thought was easy only because it didn't look too physically demanding. Just as I turned around to launch myself in the air, I felt my self abruptly stop; sending me gliding across the ice until I slammed against the barrier.

I lay still surrendering to my own defeat as I watched all the other skaters glide past me while Bella eventually made her way over. She looked down at me with a satisfied look on her face, but also wanted to make sure I was okay. It reminded me of the night we first met when I fell down her steps.

"Did you trip me?" I asked with wide eyes.

"Yes, but I got a little bit more than what I bargained for." she smiled, extending her hand out to me.

"That'll teach you."

"Touché." I said, grabbing her hand as she walked me off the ice.

I flung the skates off my feet as soon as I sat down and it wasn't until then that I noticed that everybody in that rink was staring at us. Good thing it was because she tripped me and not because of the ridiculous trick I was going to humiliate myself with. Though I'm pretty sure Bella wished it were the other way around.

The more people that came up and asked if I was okay, the quieter and more reserved she became out of embarrassment. At first I joked and said I think I sprained something. I think I even told somebody I needed to leave right away because the ambulance was outside.

The cherry glow in her face grew brighter with each dive I made. Then I felt pretty bad. I guess I shouldn't be hamming it up as much as I'd been.

"Let's get out of here, yeah?" I suggested, nodding towards the mall exit.

She was quiet throughout the ride home; just sitting there nibbling on her thumbnail. I suppose I could've killed the silence with some radio, but it wouldn't have been appropriate. I knew I had to say something and knew how she worked by now. She wasn't one to really hold grudges until you fessed up and said you're sorry.

"Hey, I didn't mean to make you feel bad back there." I apologized, "I was just joking."

"It's alright." she said without much emotion.

Okay, that wasn't quite the response I was looking for. "Are you okay? Really, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I'm honestly fine."

"I know."

Now I'm confused.

"Look, I know you're a little embarrassed, but really it-"

"That's not what's bothering me, Jake." she interrupted rather bluntly, closing her eyes to be careful of the tone she was using.

I decided to keep my mouth shut and just drive her home. No need to cause another unnecessary fight.

I edged up to the brim of her driveway just enough for her to get out of the car without feeling like she had to say something. But yet, there she sat, picking at her nails and staring down at them like she was in deep thought.

I knew she had something she needed to get off her chest, so I sat patiently. I think I owed her that much.

"Can we go somewhere?" she asked, a little hesitant. "Please."

Without words, I flipped the car in reverse and headed to the beach. Our spot to be more precise.

I followed behind her until she was in a comfortable spot, then sat down beside her. For some reason, I felt like this was something much bigger than the skating rink.

She sat there for a few more moments, deep in thought like she was in the truck, only this time there was more emotion behind her eyes. I felt like I had to say something here, too, but thought best to preserve my words for the comfort I sensed she'd soon need because I had a feeling about what this topic was about.

"Life is funny isn't it?" She finally forced out through a laugh.

I didn't answer because I didn't know what sense she was speaking from, so I just gave a thoughtless expression to show I was paying attention.

"Last Christmas I was home with my mom and everything was fine. There was a Christmas tree, our stockings hung on the wall with our names on it, and together we'd make cookies for our family." she told me, "Just one year later I'm making plans for Christmas, only this time she isn't apart of them. There's no stocking hanging with her name on it, no gifts under the tree for or from her, and there aren't any cookies with her love baked into them."

I could relate to Bella, which made me hurt for her even more. I sometimes got this surreal type feeling every once in a while, too. A lot less than I used to but I know how hard it is to shake off once your mind is wrapped around it.

Bella cradled herself with her arms and pulled her knees to her chest. "She's just not…here."

"It gets easier, I promise." I said, reaching over and resting my hand on hers.

I don't know what made me feel it was necessary to grab her hand, but it was kind of my invitation for her to open up to me.

"Does it get easier even when it's your fault?" she said.

"Come on, Bella," I sneered, "I used to blame myself my mom's death all the time. "The 'What if's' didn't go away for at least a year and I still think about them from time to time, but it wasn't my fault."

She continued on as if I didn't say anything at all. "Sometimes I just get so angry with myself. If I picked her up like I normally did, she would've ever gotten in the car."

I lifted my hand from hers and loosely hugged my knees, almost mimicking Bella's pose. "Regrets are normal, too."

"She used to get plastered, then would call and ask me to pick her up from the bar. It was a routine with her." She said, dropping her tone to disgust, "I'd been fighting with her earlier that day, all day in fact, and I though I could teach her a lesson and told her to take the bus. But she didn't take the bus, Jake."

I clenched my knees a little tighter as she told me her story. It was a translucent reminder of my own that I experienced and it started to make me feel a little queasy.

"She drove home and hit another car going down the wrong side of the expressway and it killed her and the other driver. They both died because I had some stupid fucking grudge." Her voice became hoarse as she choked back these words.

I watched as she stood up while rubbing away a single tear that raced down her cheek. I decided to stay behind while she walked to the edge of the rushing shores to collect herself. She needed a moment. I understood that completely.

I took the down time to think of the right words to offer her. I was her source of comfort. It took me this long to collect that, but at least I did.

My eyes glazed over to the sun tucked halfway beneath the horizon and I admired the cool blue hues turn warm and golden. Bella's hair gently whipped around her back from the sea breeze and it was calming, which only complimented the disappearing colors even more.

She softly turned her head and breathed out my name through a desperate breath.

"Jake?"

I stood to my feet and walked over to her. "Hmm?"

"Do you think my mom forgave me for what I did?"

"There's nothing you need to be forgiven for because you didn't do anything wrong, Bella."

"Just please answer the question, Jake."

"Yes. I think she's forgiven you by now." I sighed out, rubbing the back of my neck. "She knew your intentions."

I knew I was being a little brave by doing it, but I reached down and delicately cupped her hand with my own. She didn't break away from it, so that let me know it was alright and I squeezed her hand a little harder to get the full effect of hand holding.

She leaned against my side and rested her head on my shoulder. "When will everything stop hurting?"

I frowned. "It never stops hurting, you just sort of get used to it."

And at that very moment, I felt the wetness soak through the sleeve of my t-shirt, followed by soft and muted gasps coming from Bella. She was crying. You'd think seeing somebody cry for the first time would be awkward, but it wasn't. Her cry was…necessary. And I doubted she'd done it all that often.

I turned to her and rested my forehead on hers to let her know it was okay to cry, and she did, allowing herself to open up and let out everything she'd had bottled up for so long. Her cries then grew louder and a lot more desperate.

I'd never seen her so desperate, so vulnerable…

"Bella…" I trailed off.

She looked up at me with a heavy-minded look in her eyes, all glazed over and red from tears. Caressing her supple cheek, I lifted her chin and leaned into her until our noses almost grazed each other. I felt the warmth of her breath brushing the top of my lip before an explosion of total peace and chaos overwhelmed me.

That kiss was hard, but soft. Fiery, but cool. A split second, but also an eternity. In that one kiss, I knew right then and there that Bella meant more to me than I'd ever anticipated. And before I knew it, it was over. She pulled away as her eyes fluttered open and looked at me with a calming look of satisfaction. I couldn't help but return the expression.

"Thank you," she sighed out, resting her forehead on mine.

"For what?"

"Everything."

"Oh, no problem. What are friends for?" I joked at the expense of our recent actions.

A light-hearted chuckled escaped from her, finally bringing back the bubbly Bella I was familiar with. At that moment the annoyance of my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. I tried to mute it out, but it just kept buzzing and buzzing until I finally picked it up out of aggravation.

Sure, I'll be fine. I totally get kiss-action from Bella enough to not care about outside distractions.

"What?" I spat without looking to see who it was first.

"Don't you 'what' me! Where the hell are you with my damn truck? I've been looking for you for two hours!"

Shit.

"Sorry, I had something to take care of." I muttered, wincing at Bella in fear of how she'd feel about that,

"I'm on my way."

Bella's smile widened when I stuffed the phone back in my pocket.

"We just can't have a normal day together, can we?" she chuckled.

"Of course not! What kind of friendship would we have if we didn't at least cry or fight every time?" I joked.

"A healthy one?" she laughed.

"Very true. Well, I'm sorry to end this night so early, but I somehow forgot that I left my dad at the mall." I shrugged. "I'll be sure to drop you off first so Billy doesn't get suspicious. My dad can be a little presumptuous sometimes."

"Yeah, apparently nothing is innocent when you leave someplace with a girl for a couple hours and come back. Don't let me keep you from getting a pat on the back, Jake." she half-joked.

"Well, I probably would if it was any other girl…" I insinuated "But not with you."

A warm, thankful smile hollowed in her face. Of course it did. That line was awesome. Well it wasn't really a 'line' per se, I just know I can be good with words at times. It sort of makes up for the other embarrassing shit I do to myself, so I took advantage of it when it happened.

We walked up to the truck and I decided to take further advantage of my smug moment by opening up her door. It made me feel good to do it and I know she appreciated it when she turned to me with the same warm smile and hesitated to say something while she nibbled on the corner of her bottom lip.

"Can you promise me something?" she finally asked.

"Yeah, sure."

"Don't ever go anywhere, okay?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Bella."


	14. Surprise!

Well, hello there! Did you miss us? I can't even explain to you how busy Jessica and I have been. As you know we received a lot of attention from our story and even had many radio interviews for it. Since then we have both been insanely busy doing our own thing and writing our own stories and helping each other out. We decided we owe it to you guys to finish what we started. Although, we both honestly want to go back and erase everything we wrote previously we realized that there really is no point and it would just confuse the heck out of you so get ready to get your socks knocked off because the rest of this story is going to rock your world! Now, say hello to Edward ladies. He missed you. ;)

The smell of spring awakens my senses as I step out onto the deck. I run my fingers through my dark hair and inhale the misty warm evening breeze. Trees are in bloom and the grass is turning an intense shade of green. Flowers are starting to present themselves in brilliant colors. Something a vampire can definitely appreciate; color and life. For the last hundred years I have been on a hunt to experience life again. After a couple decades you forget what it even feels like to be alive. Watching enviously as you see someone take a bite out of a juicy red apple or witnessing someone drift into a warm slumber at night. With each kill I make there is a brief second in this constant eternal death I get a little glimpse at what it was like to be alive again. Watching my victim yearn for life the way I do every day of my existence gives me a satisfaction I could only dream of.

Bella has been distant the last few months but I have needed the extra time. Funny that I say I can use the extra time considering I have all the time in the world, literally. I can only assume that she and Jacob are busy being tangled up with each other. I'll let that little human lust ritual run its course. I'll still be here after all. I hate to admit that there is a part of me that is deeply curious about Bella. There is something about her that I can't exactly pinpoint, like a puzzle that needs to be solved. Am I brave enough to say that I want to be the one to solve it?

The warm wind whistles through the trees as I notice headlights in the distance. My curious gaze begins to adjust to the dim lit night and I notice a familiar orange truck. Now my interest is peaked. It is three in the morning I can hardly imagine why Jacob Black could possibly be sitting at the end of our private driveway. More importantly how much has he seen of my undead family? I close my eyes and thrust all my possible senses into the surrounding night, listening for the faintest confirmation for me to take his steady heart beat from him. I receive nothing back but I keep in high alert as I silently make my way towards his truck. I can hear the faint sound of soft rock drumming through the speakers. I glide my tongue over my fangs and prepare myself for the satisfying demise of Jacob Black. I am slightly disappointed it has to end like this. I imagined this moment to be more pleasing and fulfilling. I at least wanted to pick the sorry kids brain a little before I ripped his throat out. I slowly peer into the passenger side window noticing his hand lazily resting on the steering wheel. I delicately wrap my hand around the bulky handle and slowly start to open the door. The door pops open with ease and I swing it open fast revealing a sleeping Jacob. I find a smile filled with relief crawling across my face. I'm not sure what I am more relieved of; the fact that I remain undetected or the fact that I didn't have to kill him. Although I don't really understand what I feel for Bella I do know that I didn't feel like consoling her during her long drawn out grieving process of her oh so dear friend.

I notice a notebook folded over on the aged leather seat revealing a log of dates and times with notes scribbled across the page. How long has he been watching us? I pick up the notebook and fan the pages noticing at least a couple of weeks' worth of dates. The sleeping human starts to stir, I leave the door wide open and I am out of sight in the blink of an eye back in my bedroom. I throw the notebook on my desk, hopefully him waking up to find his missing notes will be a clear enough warning to stay away.

I lay back on my black fluffy leather sofa and gaze at the wall opposite of me filled with books. Having a bedroom is pointless for a vampire for obvious reasons but it is nice to have somewhere to retreat to. To anybody else they would easily mistake this room as a study with four book shelves lined across my wall and the oak desk in the corner decorated with ancient artifacts. I'm a collector of sorts, if it has history of life I want it and chances are I'll get it. From the oak desk once owned by Thomas Jefferson to the original copy of Tom Sawyer and Huck Fin I have some of the world's most sought after relics. My thoughts are interrupted by the racing ones of Esme as she climbs the stairs towards my room. Just as she is about to knock I call out.

"Come on in Esme."

She opens the door slowly revealing a half smile and made her way over to me. Esme's champagne-colored eyes made her look even more angelic then she already did. She was always pure and radiant even before she was a vampire. Carlisle made her a few years after he turned me, I think he was lonely and I was in need of a motherly figure desperately. If there is anything good in me left it is because of her. She plops next to me gently and taps her fingers on her thighs to the rhythm of the jazz music playing in the background.

"How are you dear?" She inquired curiously.

This specific routine is more recent, every night around three in the morning Esme would read to me until the sun came up. A bed time story of sorts except this wouldn't lull me to sleep unfortunately. Esme and I have a closer relationship than my other adopted siblings so these moments were comforting. I rested my head on her shoulder and let out a deep sigh. She rested her head on top of mine and reached her hand across to my face and gently rubbed my cheek. Esme is just the person my mother would have picked to replace her. She opened the book almost halfway through and began to read right where we had left off yesterday.


End file.
